


Attention

by waitingforwonhui



Category: PDx101 - Fandom, Produce X 101 - Fandom, UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Buckle up, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Strangers to Friends, Tension, jinhyuk has a reputation, this is my longest weishin work to date, unversity AU, we'll see where this goes, wooseok is struggling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2020-07-23 11:23:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 51,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20007493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforwonhui/pseuds/waitingforwonhui
Summary: Wooseok already regrets taking Chinese History this semester.But then he gets paired with popular campus playboy Jinhyuk for their class' presentation and suddenly, things look a bit brighter.(I promise the work is better than the summary lol.)





	1. #1

**Author's Note:**

> my longest fic for this pairing to date! 
> 
> this is my first au so keep that in mind!
> 
> thanks for reading!!!

Three weeks into the semester and Wooseok is already questioning why the hell he took _Chinese History_ to begin with. There has never been anything he was less interested in Wooseok thinks as he tries to sort out the names of the people who supposedly did something at a certain time decades ago in someplace in China. How did it get this complicated in just three weeks?

It's not like he has a choice anymore. He can't drop the class now that the cancelling period is already over. He chose it for the massive amount of credit points he would get if he passed - he felt confident in the beginning but now he's not that sure anymore - which would allow him to finish his minor a year in advance, so that, for the rest of his studies, he could put all his focus on his major, which is Architecture. 

"As I already informed you, for the last three weeks of the semester, all of you will take one of the topics from the list on page 17 and prepare a short presentation in pairs. You may focus on whatever aspect you like as long as you stay within the frame of the topic you choose," Prof. Ma is a tiny middle-aged woman who speaks in such a monotone voice that Wooseok is certain they could use recordings of her lectures to cure insomnia. "Your partners have already been randomly decided and only one pair can prepare each topic. First come, first serve. So, make sure you decide quickly and let me know which topic you'd like by the end of the week."

Great, Wooseok thinks, as if it's not enough that he can't seem to follow the content of the class at all, now he's going to be paired with some random person to bear witness to his confusion and despair.

As Prof. Ma starts to call out the names of the pairs, Wooseok wonders how he's even going to know who the person he's paired with is. There are about 50 students in the class and he barely knows a handful of them from seeing them around university a bit more often than others. He definitely doesn't have anyone he would call his friend in this class, not even a regular acquaintance.

"Wooseok, Kim," he looks up at the mention of his name. "And Jinhyuk, Lee."

Well, at least he doesn't have to go all crazy on _Facebook_ and try to find the person he's paired with. He knows Lee Jinhyuk. Or let's say he knows _of_ Lee Jinhyuk. It's not that they're friends or anything but he definitely recognises the tall guy sitting in the back of the class next to the window.

Jinhyuk is _very_ popular. He's probably one of the most popular people on campus and there are many tales going around about him. Everyone wants a piece of Jinhyuk and from what it sounds when they talk about him, most people also get a piece of Jinhyuk. One could say he gets around.

He also likes to party from what Wooseok can conclude. At least he's seen him at every party he's ever been to since he became a student. To be fair, Wooseok has only been to a handful of those in the past year but he is pretty sure he has seen Jinhyuk at every single one of them which either means they somehow coincidentally end up at the same random student parties or Jinhyuk is just a total party animal.

When the class ends, Wooseok thinks he has to approach Jinhyuk now because he's pretty sure the other has no clue who he is, given that Wooseok was nowhere near as notorious on campus as the other male.

Jinhyuk is typing on his phone when Wooseok reaches his table. "Jinhyuk?"

"Who wants to know?" He answers and flips his bangs out of his face, then smirks up at Wooseok. He's flirting. He hasn't even introduced himself and the dude is already _flirting_. Wooseok's hopes for a successful outcome for this class are shrinking by the minute.

"Wooseok," he says then realises that Jinhyuk is looking at him in confusion. "Comma Kim?"

"Ah," Jinhyuk suddenly lets out with a less flirty and more genuine smile now. "My partner! Sit down, sit down. I was just looking you up on Instagram but I couldn't find you, you have a very common name."

"I also don't have Instagram," Wooseok retorts with a smile as he sits down on the chair in front of Jinhyuk's table.

"No Instagram? At this day and age? You're a rare species, Wooseok," he chuckles. "I like it."

"Thanks?" 

"So, do you already have a topic in mind?"

"What?" Wooseok is not sure what the other is talking about.

"A topic... you know, for the presentation," Jinhyuk elaborates with a big smile. "I was thinking doing it on the early years of the Kuomintang with a focus on Chiang Kai-shek's role in it, but if you have something else that you really want to do, I'm open to suggestions."

Wooseok doesn't know what he expected. Jinhyuk getting right to the point, showing a certain degree of familiarity with the topic and seemingly, taking the matter very seriously was apparently not it. He catches himself staring at the other with his mouth slightly open and in shock when he remembers that it's his turn to say something.

"Uh, yes," he starts intelligently. "I mean, honestly, I don't have anything in particular that I want to do, so let's go with that."

"Awesome," Jinhyuk exclaims. "Do you have time now?"

"For what?" Wooseok is confused. He sort of gets the feeling that working on this project with Jinhyuk will leave him being confused a lot.

"To sit down and discuss what we want to talk about and divide the parts, of course," Jinhyuk beams. "We could go to this cafe I like, it's right outside the campus. They have food too."

"Uh, I have another class in 15 minutes," Wooseok responds. "Besides, there's like 7 or 8 weeks until we have to hold this presentation..."

"I know but I like to get uni stuff done immediately," Jinhyuk explains matter-of-factly. "Leaves me more time for the things that actually matter."

Wooseok wonders what those things are but he doesn't dare to ask Jinhyuk just yet. He might find out while working with him on the presentation. He doesn't really know why he wants to know but something about Jinhyuk makes him want to find out more about him.

Maybe it's the fact that they are complete opposites. Jinhyuk is all smiles. Wooseok is rather stoic. Jinhyuk moves his arms a lot when he talks. Wooseok likes to keep his limbs close to his body. Jinhyuk flips his hair when it covers his eyes. Wooseok prefers to just slightly adjust his own with his hands. Jinhyuk is tall, smart and popular and Wooseok feels so incredibly inferior. 

"So, your next class finishes around 4 pm?" Jinhyuk inquires.

"Yeah, 4 pm exactly."

"And after that?"

"I'm free."

"What building are you in? I'll pick you up."

Wooseok tells him where to pick him up and feels a sense of reassurance as he gets up to go to his next class. Perhaps, he won't fail _Chinese History_ after all. With a partner who seems that eager to do well on the presentation that accounts for 40% of their grade, Wooseok feels slightly more confident about a potentially successful outcome for all of this.

* * *

When Wooseok gets out of the building after his last class for the day, Jinhyuk is already sitting on the stairs in the front. He walks up to him. "Hey."

"Wooseok! Thank god, I'm starving. Let's go," Jinhyuk grabs him by the wrist and pulls him towards the eastern exit of their campus. Wooseok is too perplexed to say anything, so he lets himself be dragged to the cafe the other had previously told him about.

"Here we are," Jinhyuk excitedly states when they arrive at the small establishment that turns out to be a recording studio and a cafe in one. The walls are covered with CDs. A couple of plants and an assortment of lamps are seemingly placed randomly around the small space. There are around ten tables but almost nobody is there just a couple at the table farthest back near the window and the boyish-looking female barista behind the counter in the front. 

Jinhyuk greets her with a familiar handshake which makes Wooseok conclude that they know each other and that the other, indeed, comes here more often.

On the wall behind the girl, there are the usual coffee preparations and drinks listed with prices but also prices for recording sessions, booking of the recording room and a variety of different services in terms of music-making. It's an odd place but it has a cool vibe and Wooseok feels immediately welcome as Jinhyuk introduces him to the barista, Jess, as his _friend_. 

"So, what do you want to drink?" Jess asks with a warm smile that stands in total contrast to her otherwise cool and composed attire.

"An iced Americano for me," Wooseok says with a small bow.

"Jinhyuk? The usual?" She points a finger at the other male.

"Yes and bring out the snacks!" 

The barista laughs then disappears to the back out of their sight. They sit down at a corner table that has a bit more room so they can spread out their _Chinese History_ materials.

"I like this place," Wooseok remarks in an attempt to start a conversation. Not that it was necessary to force a conversation with Jinhyuk. Weirdly enough, he feels comfortable around the other, which he wouldn't have thought from just seeing Jinhyuk from a distance, let alone getting to know him the first time. It usually takes time for Wooseok to warm up to someone but he thinks it's the way Jinhyuk is just very open and inviting and doesn't make a big deal out of social things that makes it easy to be around him. Or maybe it's the fact that they're just meeting to work on a mandatory school project and they have a common cause to attend, so there's no time to be shy about it.

"Right? I come here all the time."

"I can tell," Wooseok replies with a chuckle. "You have a secret handshake with the barista."

"Yeah," Jinhyuk laughs. "Jess is cool. She's actually a rapper, trying to make it underground. She has recorded a couple of songs here and put them up on Spotify. If you're into hip hop and rap, make sure you check her out and give her some streams."

Before Wooseok can say anything, Jess appears again carrying their drinks and what appears to be a large tray with 4-5 smaller plates on it. They are filled with different types of twigim and the largest one with tteokbokki.

"Since when does a cafe serve street food?" Wooseok asks teasingly. 

"We don't," Jess snorts. "It's a Jinhyuk special, I just get it from the ahjumma across the street."

"What can I say? I come here often," Jinhyuk laughs. Wooseok has to admit that the other's open-mouthed laugh is very addictive. He finds himself laughing too, so does Jess.

After she places all the plates and drinks on their table, Jess disappears in the back again.

"So, have I entered the holy place where Lee Jinhyuk brings all his dates?" Wooseok doesn't know why he asks that. Since getting to actually know him just two hours ago and discovering that the guy is completely different from what he thought he would be, Wooseok is curious whether the rumours about Jinhyuk and his excessive dating life are even true. 

"Nah," Jinhyuk shrugs. "I keep this place to myself. I like to come here way too much to risk potentially having to avoid it just because I introduced the wrong person to Jess and the others."

"Speaking of dates, though," he continues. "I have one at 7 pm, so we better get down to work now. By the way, feel free to eat anything you want here. She brought twice as much stuff as she usually does, so I'll need your help."

There it is, Wooseok thinks, the whole getting around a lot thing seems to be true after all. He doesn't know why he feels disappointed at that.

After that, they mainly talk about the topic at hand. Jinhyuk seems to already have a clear plan of what they should talk about in their presentation and Wooseok is more than happy to give him the lead since he has no idea what is going on in _Chinese History_. 

They quickly divide the parts that need further research conducted and decide when to meet again to discuss what they found. It's around 6.30 pm when Jinhyuk seems satisfied enough to call it a day.

He finishes his drink - something very sweet, sugary and milky that he had Wooseok taste - then starts nibbling on the few left pieces of twigim that they couldn't finish earlier. 

"Is history your major?" Wooseok inquires and Jinhyuk just nods because he has both of his cheeks stuffed with food. Wooseok thinks he looks like a hamster, cute. Very different from the flirty Jinhyuk he usually gets to see at parties and on-campus - even just a couple of hours ago when he approached him after class.

"You seem very invested."

For whatever reason that statement makes Jinhyuk laugh. He swallows the food left in his mouth, then takes a big sip of water. "Honestly? I don't really care much about my studies."

Wooseok wouldn't have been shocked to hear that just this morning but now after Jinhyuk pulled him out of uni and dragged him into a cafe to work on a presentation that isn't due in like seven weeks, he doesn't think he follows any longer.

"Are you serious?"

Jinhyuk chuckles. "Yeah, I told you I like to finish uni stuff as soon as possible, so I can focus on more important things."

"So, what are those 'more important things'?"

"Ah, Wooseok comma Kim, I'm not sure I trust you enough to let you in on that secret of my life," Jinhyuk giggles.

Wooseok is intrigued but he decides not to push the other any further. It's probably his social life, maybe he has a girlfriend or several that he deems more important than his studies. At this point it could be anything, Wooseok thinks. All he has discovered from hanging out with him for half a day is that Jinhyuk is even a bigger mystery than he thought he'd be. 

"What about you?" Jinhyuk's question pulls him out of his thoughts.

"Architecture," Wooseok answers shortly and watches Jinhyuk's jaw drop.

"Wow," he says with an exaggerated O that makes him look endearing like a little child.

"Why?"

"Ah, no reason, you know, it's only the hardest subject to study apparently," Jinhyuk replies sarcastically. 

"It is?" Wooseok really didn't know. He knows it's hard and time-consuming and you have to have a lot of patience and an eye for details. It doesn't hurt to have a natural affinity towards geometry and the arts in equal parts but Wooseok felt those things came very naturally to him. Architecture just makes sense. Unlike History where things just happen at random and you have to learn them year by year.

"Yes, it is. Should I pull out the statistics?" Jinhyuk says with big eyes.

"No, it's not necessary. I believe you," Wooseok chuckles and habitually puts a hand up to cover his mouth. He notices how Jinhyuk tilts his head and looks at him for a little longer than natural. 

"Alright, Wooseok," Jinhyuk states with his hands in his sides. He pulls out his phone from out of his jeans pocket and slides it over to Wooseok. "I gotta go now, or I'll be late. Can you give me your number? Since you don't seem to be big on social media, I'll need to reach you somehow other than with smoke signals."

Wooseok laughs then takes Jinhyuk's phone to type his number in there. He saves it as Wooseok, Kim and slides it back to its owner. Jinhyuk chuckles at it then presses the call button.

Wooseok feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. "Now you have mine too."

After he finishes packing up his stuff, Jinhyuk gets up from the table and looks at Wooseok. "So, I'll be on my way. It was a pleasure working with you, Wooseok."

Wooseok just smiles and waves him off but before the taller leaves the cafe, he turns around one more time. "Oh, by the way, don't worry about the drinks and the food. I've already paid."

"Thanks," is all Wooseok can let out before Jinhyuk disappears through the door but not without throwing a _wink_ his way.


	2. #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter came out completely different than planned >.<
> 
> it's also a bit short, but the next one will be longer, so I thought this shouldn't escalate. 
> 
> lol enjoy!

"How do I get invited to Cho Seungyoun's home party this Friday?" A visibly desperate Yohan asks nobody in particular. 

They are seated at a table in one of the larger cafeterias on campus. Wooseok is eating what is supposed to be a Chinese noodle dish but even he can tell that there is not a grain of authenticity in it. It's still good. He doesn't mind. On his right side, Yohan is aggressively swiping on his phone and across from Yohan, Eunsang is doing what appears to be his English homework. The frown on his face giving away the fact that Eunsang and English are about as good friends as Wooseok and _Chinese History_. 

"It's a college party, don't you just, you know... _go_?" Wooseok throws in between mouthfuls of his food.

Yohan rolls his eyes as he turns to look at the older. "Hyung, it's at his home and you know who he's roommates with?"

Wooseok blinks at him as he chews his food. "Seungwoo!" Yohan finally answers his own question when Wooseok doesn't respond. "I'm not going to ruin my chances with him by showing up at his home uninvited."

"Honestly, with how these parties usually go, I don't think he will even realise who showed up at all, let alone who was invited," Wooseok retorts.

"Besides," Eunsang throws in without looking up from his book. "Your chances with Seungwoo are pretty low as it is."

"That's not helping," Yohan almost shouts. "None of your input is helping!"

Wooseok chuckles and places another mouthful of noodles in his mouth when suddenly a hand appears on his shoulder followed by a somewhat loud call of his name. Wooseok has always been easily frightened. Not that he was afraid of anything in particular but he just doesn't do well with sudden surprises. This time as well, he jumps in his seat while swallowing a way too big and not chewed mouthful of Chinese noodles. He starts to cough embarrassingly as the owner of the hand and the voice moves into his range of sight. 

Jinhyuk crouches next to where Wooseok is seated, one hand on his knee the other lightly tapping Wooseok's back. "I'm so sorry, I didn't want to scare you."

Wooseok is coming down from his coughing fit still unable to say anything.

"Are you okay?" Jinhyuk's hand on his knee squeezes a little and Wooseok thinks he didn't realise they've already reached a point in their "friendship" where this sort of touching would be allowed. But just as everything with Jinhyuk, this doesn't feel awkward either. It's probably just the way he is, Wooseok thinks.

When he finally calms his cough, he takes a sip from his coke then looks at Jinhyuk. "I'm fine. Just surprised."

"I'm really sorry, I shouldn't sneak up on people like that," Jinhyuk says as he gets back up on his feet. "Anyway, I just saw you and thought I'd let you know that I wrote an e-mail to Prof. Ma and we can have the topic we chose."

"That's great," Wooseok answers looking up to him with a smile. "Thank you."

"No worries," Jinhyuk looks to the side and seems to only now have realised that Yohan and Eunsang are at the table as well. "Oh, I didn't want to be rude. Hi, I'm-"

"Lee Jinhyuk!" Yohan blurts out with big eyes. "Hi, I'm Yohan!"

Wooseok barely holds back from punching the younger boy for being so embarrassing. 

"Ah, you know who I am?" Jinhyuk actually looks perplexed. 

"Everyone knows who you are," Eunsang suddenly chimes in from behind his books. 

"And you are?"

"Eunsang," the youngest answers with a wide smile then proceeds to devote himself to his studies again.

Jinhyuk furrows his eyebrows a little but then doesn't say anything to the somewhat awkward exchange. Wooseok thinks he's probably used to people knowing him before he has to introduce himself. 

Wooseok also thinks he should ask something before things get even more awkward. "Are you here to have lunch?"

"Nah, I'm just waiting for Gyujin, my flatmate. We're meeting up here to go home together."

"Do you want to sit down?" Wooseok points at the empty chair in front of him and next to Eunsang.

"Sure, if that's okay with your friends?"

"Of course," by now Yohan is sitting on the edge of his seat. "So, how come you guys know each other?"

"We have a class together," Wooseok answers shortly.

"You have a class together," Yohan repeats in an exaggerated tone and Wooseok thinks he's just seconds away from slapping him out of his seat. Then the younger leans in to whisper to him. "Why didn't you tell me you're friends with Lee Jinhyuk?"

He sees Jinhyuk turn his head to the side with a small smile on his face. Clearly, he could hear everything but he pretends to be looking at what Eunsang is doing. "We're not friends, we're just working on a presentation together. Like, I just had a coffee with him, you probably know him better than I do."

"You went on a date with Lee Jinhyuk?" Yohan opens his mouth in shock.

"What? No. And stop saying his full name like he's some sort of superstar!"

"Oh, he's more than that," Yohan states vehemently. "He can be our ticket to Seungyoun's party!"

"I don't even want to go!"

"And I have to go!"

All of a sudden Jinyhuk speaks. "This is the wrong tense. If it's happened in the past even before that past event, you have to say 'she had given a speech there before' and then over here-"

"How are you so good at English?" Wooseok inquires with genuine interest.

"Oh," Jinhyuk turns to look at him. "Well, I have a lot of exchange student friends if you know what I mean."

Wooseok doesn't know what he means but he can imagine from the smirk that has formed on Jinhyuk's face towards the end of the sentence. For some reason, however, he doesn't want to imagine. Yohan on his right laughs out loud as if Jinhyuk made an extremely funny joke. Wooseok side-eyes him in disgust.

Jinhyuk turns to Eunsang's homework again. "And this sentence doesn't make sense, the 'third party' is a person in this case-"

"What do you mean?" Eunsang puts his book down and is now looking up at Jinhyuk with furrowed eyebrows.

"The 'third party' - you wrote it here as if it was a thing or an event, but it's a person."

"A person?"

"Yes, you know, like a third person."

"Is it a person at a party?"

Wooseok and Yohan exchange looks and Wooseok is impressed at how much patience Jinhyuk has because he still explains everything to Eunsang in a very calm and composed manner. He himself would've probably already attacked him by now.

"No, there is no party. It's not an event. See, you say 'third party' when there is someone involved outside of a situation with two people or groups."

"So, it's two groups at a party and a person comes in whom they call the third party?"

Jinhyuk turns to Wooseok. "Is he messing with me?"

Wooseok has to hide a laugh behind his hand. "I'm afraid not."

"He really is that stupid," Yohan adds. 

"You should try and play charades with him," Wooseok shakes his head. "It's torture."

"Yeah, Wooseok-hyung lost his shit last time."

"Ha," Jinhyuk lets out with his mouth slightly open his tongue visibly moving inside as he lets his eyes linger almost uncomfortably on Wooseok's own.

"What?" Wooseok manages.

"Nothing, I just can't imagine such a pretty face enraged."

Wooseok is startled by that comment while Yohan literally squeals. The older shoots him a hostile look before he turns his head to Jinhyuk who is now looking at a confused Eunsang again. 

"Anyway, I have some time off this afternoon, do you want to come to my place and I'll help you finish that homework?" he offers. "Gyujin should be here any minute."

Wooseok and Yohan exchange astonished looks. "You do realise he's a minor?" Yohan adds and Wooseok hits his arm.

"Oh my god," Jinhyuk laughs. One of his big laughs. The addictive ones. "I know I have a reputation but you really shouldn't believe everything you hear. I just genuinely feel like I can help him. Besides, he's not my type. Sorry, kid."

"No offence taken," Eunsang retorts sincerely.

"So, what is your type?" Yohan inquires with raised eyebrows.

"Preferably around my age," Jinhyuk chuckles again. "That reminds me, Wooseok you should come too."

"Me?" Wooseok is confused. "I don't need any help, thank you."

Yohan elbows him from the side as to say he should just go with them and try to get Jinhyuk to invite him to Seungyoun's party. But he doesn't know why he would go there. Why would Jinhyuk want him at his place?

Wooseok is not dumb. He does have an idea or two as to what Jinhyuk could possibly want from him. The subtle flirting hasn't gone over his head. But even if that was the case, why invite him while helping Eunsang? Clearly, that's nowhere near a good setting for anything in that direction.

"Hey," Wooseok is pulled out of his thoughts by the soft voice that belongs to a tall and attractive male who just showed up at their table.

"Ah," Jinhyuk exclaims. "Gyujin! Guys, this is my flatmate, Gyujin." He quickly introduces the other then proceeds to talk to him. "Is it okay if Wooseok and Eunsang here come with us? You're with the car right?"

Wooseok notices that Jinhyuk does that a lot. He decides things for other people but makes it look like they agreed because he asks. Just like he did the other day after class when they went to the cafe. Just like he did just now with Wooseok and Eunsang. And with his flatmate, Gyujin, too. Wooseok doesn't know if he likes this trait of Jinhyuk's. It's certainly one way to get what you want. 

"Hey everyone," Gyujin waves awkwardly with a smile that is equal parts irritated and welcoming if that's even possible. "Yeah, I parked in the front. We should stop at the supermarket though, we need milk."

"Sure," Jinhyuk beams. "Is that okay for you guys?" Wooseok and Eunsang exchange a look that doesn't say anything and Jinhyuk continues. "Ah also, Wooseok and Yohan are coming with us to Seungyoun's party this Friday, alright?" He winks at Yohan making the younger blush and almost fall off his chair.

Wooseok is slightly irritated that he's suddenly a part of all these plans when he didn't really want to go to that party let alone to Jinhyuk's home. He doesn't want to ruin things for Yohan, though, so he doesn't say anything.

"Awesome," Gyujin says with a genuine smile now. "The more the merrier! Shall we?"

Before he knows what's happening, Wooseok finds himself in the back of Gyujin's car with Eunsang and his English books next to him, Jinhyuk in the front with Gyujin who is driving and loud hip-hop music blasting from the speakers.

He thinks he really shouldn't have booked _Chinese History_. 


	3. #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woop woop update coming through!
> 
> this one is a bit longer, hope you enjoy it.
> 
> kudos and comments are always welcome at the end, but now: happy reading!! :)

As Wooseok paces through the apartment, he can hear distinctive voices from the living room. The more confused Eunsang seems to get, the faster Jinhyuk talks. He's still astounded that Jinhyuk insisted on helping the kid with his English homework. It's a lost cause. It's also weird to invite someone you know for less than 5 minutes to your home to _help_ them, Wooseok thinks.

The apartment is quite spacious and bright. Wooseok admires the floor layout. It's very functional overall but still beautifully designed. It's one of those places that makes you wonder how two university students can afford living there on their own. Wooseok pins it on parents' money. 

"Hey, is there a quiet place I can use to study?" He asks once he arrives back at the living room. 

Jinhyuk looks up at him from where he's seated on the floor in front of the small table. "Umm, my room?" He says it as if Wooseok asked him to guess something. "It's the first door on the left. The one with the Olaf cutout on the door."

"Thank you," Wooseok says and makes his way to the room in question. _Olaf cutout?_ He thinks it doesn't go with anything related to Jinhyuk's personality. Much to his own dismay, he finds himself more intrigued about the mystery that is Lee Jinhyuk. 

This feeling intensifies as he opens the door and reveals a meticulously clean and almost unfairly large bedroom. 

The entire room is kept in cool colours of blue and silver. From the bedsheets to the small carpet, to the bright blue neon sign on the wall that reads: _Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will._

One thing is for sure: Jinhyuk is into music. There's an electric piano right on the left side of the door. Mixing equipment and a range of microphones and electronics that Wooseok doesn't have the slightest idea what they are used for are neatly arranged on the desk in front of the computer display. 

As if pulled, Wooseok immediately moves to the very small selection of books on Jinhyuk's shelf. He's always been of the opinion that the books we keep tell a lot about how we really are. Especially, if they are this few. There's only seven and Wooseok's hand automatically goes for a very familiar work. 

He pulls out Jinhyuk's copy of _Letters to a Young Poet_ by Rainer Maria Rilke and instantly sits on the bed to flip through the well-used pages of the book. There are a lot of bookmarks and highlighted parts. It instantly opens on one page that appears to have been opened much more often than the rest and there is one passage highlighted in orange: 

_"But everything that may someday be possible for many people, the solitary man can now, already, prepare and build with his own hands, which make fewer mistakes. Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away, you write, and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast. And if what is near you is far away, then your vastness is already among the stars and is very great; be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust."_

There is also something written on the side right next to that passage: _ultimate freedom_

Wooseok reads that paragraph a couple of times. He doesn't even understand why he is so eager to find Jinhyuk in those lines, to make sense out of how this paragraph relates to him. He flips through a couple of other pages, reads. He doesn't know how much time passes but suddenly the door opens and Jinhyuk appears.

"Oh my god," he exclaims as he closes the door behind himself then plops onto the bed as well. "Why the hell did he decide to study English?"

Wooseok can't help but chuckle at how visibly drained Jinhyuk looks just from helping Eunsang do his homework. "It's a mystery to all of us."

The taller is lying on the lower end of the bed while Wooseok is leaning on the headboard, so he's looking at him upside down when Jinhyuk tilts his head to smile at him. "What are you reading?"

Without verbally answering, Wooseok just lifts the book so that the other can see the title.

"Isn't that mine?"

"Yeah, I found it on the shelf."

"Aha, didn't you want to study?"

"I guess, I got distracted."

Jinhyuk laughs a little then sits up and shuffles to sit next to Wooseok. He reaches under the blanket that is neatly tucked on the bed and pulls out the pillow from underneath. He props it up against the headboard, leans against it then circles an arm around Wooseok's waist and pulls him in so that he is also leaning against the pillow and not the hardwood anymore. Jinhyuk lets his arm rest behind Wooseok's back so that the latter is somewhat leaning against him too.

It happens in seconds but Wooseok is very aware of their proximity. He's very aware of the fact that this would feel completely vexatious if it was anyone else he only properly met less than a week ago but like many things it doesn't feel out of place with Jinhyuk. He doesn't feel anxious and uncomfortable as he definitely would if this was anyone else. He doesn't know what to do with that kind of information but he decides to leave it for now.

"How do you like it?" Jinhyuk promptly asks.

"What?"

"The book," Jinhyuk points to his copy of _Letters to a Young Poet_ in Wooseok's hands. "What do you think of it?"

"Oh, I know it already," Wooseok answers turning a page. "I've read it many times before."

"You did?" Jinhyuk lifts his eyebrows in a pleased expression. "Me too."

"I can tell," the smaller says with a smile still looking at the book. 

"Yeah, I like to highlight parts that speak to me or help me in a way."

Wooseok thinks it's a very interesting way to put it. _Parts that help him in a way._ It doesn't say much but Wooseok understands. After all, he himself often finds comfort in other people's words as well, his own collection of books being far larger than Jinhyuk's too. He's been able to work through many unutterable problems by leaning into other people's ability to put them into words.

He wants to ask Jinhyuk about the orange highlighted passage that seems to have been read more times than any other page in the book but for some reason, he can't. Something about it feels too intimate which is quite ironic considering that he's practically sitting there wrapped in the other's arms so close he can feel Jinhyuk's breathing at the back of his neck.

"So, what's with all the music stuff?" He asks instead.

Jinhyuk's face lights up so much it's endearing. "I make music!"

Wooseok can't help but chuckle at that. "I guessed that much, so do you sing? Are you one of those _YouTube_ musicians?"

"Oh no no, I produce it. I don't perform myself. I just make music for others to perform, it's what I want to do for a living," he scratches the back of his head mid-sentence. "Well, I'm kinda _already_ doing it for a living."

"You're a professional producer?" Wooseok doesn't realise that he had his mouth open until Jinhyuk lifts a finger to close it for him.

"I'm not Kanye," he says with a shrug. "But it pays the rent."

Wooseok's astonishment grows that much. "You mean, you pay for this apartment yourself?"

"For my half, yes," Jinhyuk chuckles. "I guess my life would be easier if I let my parents pay but it's all part of my grand scheme to make them realise and accept that I can, indeed, live well while doing something that I actually love to do."

"So, when you say you don't care about your studies much, you mean-"

"I mean, I started studying to have their nagging off my back and now I'm finishing to please them, I guess," he cringes at his own words. "Not the rebel people think I am. At least not when it comes to my parents, I'd rather prove myself."

Wooseok thinks it's irritating how one minute he can be completely appalled by Jinhyuk's personality and the next minute he's inexplicably drawn to it. It's something he still needs to figure out if this guy is going to stick around in his life for the next couple of weeks.

"Why didn't you just study music then?"

"I wanted to but it wasn't good enough. They wanted me to study something serious," he snorts and shakes his head. "But I'm kinda glad I didn't, I have a feeling studying it at uni would've sucked all the fun out of it for me."

"And out of all the things to study, you went for _history,_ " Wooseok concludes with a small shake of his head. 

Jinhyuk laughs. "What? History is fun!"

"Fun?!" The other gives him an incredulous look.

"Hey, don't give me that look," Jinhyuk still has a huge smile plastered on his face. "History, hmmm... in a way it's just easy. Things just happen as they do for no apparent reason. There's no logic or design behind it, I just have to accept things as they are and memorise them. Hopefully, also learn something from them."

"You seem to be good at accepting reality as it is," Wooseok analyses. "And finding your place in it."

"I guess, you could say so," Jinhyuk smirks. "So, what about you Wooseok comma Kim? What big dreams are hidden in that pretty little head of yours?"

Wooseok notices the obvious - and totally unnecessary - flirting but he's slowly coming to accept that that's just the Jinhyuk's way of talking to people, so he chooses to ignore it. "I want to be an architect."

"No shit," Jinhyuk mocks. "This dude studying architecture wants to become an architect! Who would've guessed?"

"Funny," Wooseok says with a blank expression. "I'm interested in neo-futuristic designs if you want so. I guess, one day I'd love to design buildings in different cities all over the world. Places people would want to travel to just to see my works."

"So, something like the DDP?"

"Exactly, something like that."

Wooseok turns to face Jinhyuk who is smiling at him. It's a soft smile, one that Wooseok hasn't seen on the other yet. "Those are big dreams you have there."

"That's one thing we have in common," Wooseok replies without averting his eyes from the now piercing pair of the other male.

He suddenly becomes hyperconscious of the situation he's in. He's still leaning against Jinhyuk's side, his lanky arm circled around his waist, the fingertips of its hand absentmindedly drawing circles on the side of Wooseok's leg. Their faces are still incredibly close. Way too close. He can feel Jinhyuk's calm breath on his nose and the way the taller boy's eyes inspect his face. Wooseok is alert and slightly panicking when he exclaims. "Eunsang!"

"What with him?" Jinhyuk asks nonchalantly.

"Shouldn't you go back to teach him English or something?" Wooseok uses the chance of conversation to slightly shift away from the other.

"Ah no, he left before I came in here."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought it was obvious. I mean, I wouldn't just leave him out there alone," Jinhyuk blinks in a manner Wooseok would describe as innocent.

"It wasn't, I thought you gave him an exercise or something to do," he starts to get irritated again. "I could've left together with him."

"Oh, but his parents came to pick him up. Apparently, they have dinner plans for tonight," Jinhyuk informs.

"That's not the point," Wooseok shakes his head and gets up from the bed. "I should just go home as well."

"You don't have to, though. You can stay for dinner," Jinhyuk states as he sits up on the bed.

Wooseok doesn't have to be anywhere else. He doesn't have to go home right now either. It's not even that he is against the idea of having dinner here. He just doesn't want Jinhyuk to make any more decisions for him, so he replies with a short but firm no.

He expects Jinhyuk to try to persuade him but instead the other just smiles, nods and then. "Okay, do you need a ride home?"

"I can take the subway, I saw the station on our way here."

"Alright, I'll bring you to the door then."

Wooseok thanks him, gathers his stuff and leaves soon after that. He's not sure how to feel about Jinhyuk. All he knows is that he does _feel_ about Jinhyuk.

* * *

He doesn't see Jinhyuk or talk to him until Friday when he gets a message from the other asking him whether he and Gyujin should come and pick them up to go to Cho Seungyoun's party. Wooseok accepts because for once, Jinyhuk actually asks and waits for a reply, but then also, Wooseok has no idea where Seungyoun lives and he knows better than to trust Yohan with directions.

Wooseok and Yohan live in one of the dorm buildings on campus. The older is one of the very few lucky students who have a room for themselves, while Yohan shares his with a guy called Hangyul whom Wooseok hasn't had the chance to talk to too much so far but he seems nice. 

They live in the room across from his and share the floor's kitchenette, which is also how he met Yohan when the younger tried to heat-up a sandwich in the microwave without removing the aluminium foil it was wrapped in. 

Wooseok having the closest room to it had heard screams from the kitchenette and ran over to see what was happening. Yohan was covering his ears staring at the little sparks of electricity bouncing off the aluminium foil inside the microwave. He stopped the device from working and Yohan looked at him as if he'd just saved him from a near-death experience. 

"You can't put metal in the microwave."

"It was just wrapping."

"Aluminium wrapping!"

"I didn't know it counts as metal..."

"Also, there's lettuce in the sandwich?"

"Yeah?"

"Who the hell microwaves lettuce?"

Yohan was an idiot but he'd panicked about potentially being thrown out of the dormitories if they found out that he broke the microwave, so Wooseok promised not to tell anyone. With this heroic act, he had secured himself Yohan's undying, loyal friendship - something he's still not sure he wanted but he went with it and here they are now.

Yohan is currently in Wooseok's room trying on different outfits that all consist of the same pair of light blue jeans - which he swears make his ass pop - and similar shirts of different colours. 

"Do you think purple makes me look sophisticated?" He asks after putting on shirt number six.

"No, it makes you look like an idiot," Wooseok retorts from his bed. He is wearing a pair of black, slim-fit, cutout jeans with a simple white shirt. He didn't feel like dressing up and he knows that home parties tend to be more than casual. Some people even show up in sportswear or simple trainers. Once the host stayed in his pyjamas for the whole evening because he had forgotten that he was throwing a party that day and was surprised when the guests started to come in one after the other. Weirdly enough, Wooseok remembers that one as one of the better uni gatherings he'd been to.

"You say that about every shirt I put on," Yohan concludes visibly annoyed.

"What can I say? Colours bring out your true inner self to the outside."

"Ask Jinhyuk," Yohan loudly insists.

"What?"

"Ask him what colour shirt I should wear?" the younger is full-on whining now.

"I'm not asking him that," Wooseok frowns. "It's weird."

"Wooseok! The man is charismatic, fashionable, attractive and most of all, wanted by like, everyone. If anyone knows what colour shirt could bring me closer to seducing Seungwoo, it's him. Come on, pleaaaaase!"

"Ugh alright," Wooseok scrambles for his phone.

"But don't tell him that it's actually about Seungwoo! They're friends!!" A panicked Yohan throws in.

**You**

_Yohan asks what colour shirt he should wear to the party_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_what? xD_

**You**

_he wanted me to ask you_

_apparently my input is too insulting_

_and you're his idol_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_I am??_

_poor kid_

_hmmm_

_maybe pink_

**You**

_I know..._

_pink? okay then_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_we'll be there in 15 minutes_

_meet us outside?_

**You**

_sure_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_awesome~_

"Of course, pink!" Yohan exclaims excitedly then starts digging for a baby pink shirt he had tried on around 15 minutes ago.

Wooseok gets up from the bed and decides that he should maybe take one last check in the mirror. He might have chosen a simple outfit but today he felt like putting some more effort into his hair and make-up. He decided to wear contacts instead of his usual round glasses and accentuate his eyes with some dark brown eye shadow just at the corners. He put some sea salt spray into his hair and ruffled it up a bit so it didn't look as straight and boring as usual. He hears his phone buzz from where he'd left it on the bed and he knows it means Jinhyuk and Gyujin are here.

"Let's go, Peppa Pig!" 

"Hyung, honestly, why do you always feel the need to make my life miserable?"

* * *

Apparently, showing up to a party with Lee Jinhyuk automatically makes you an insider of the event. Usually, Wooseok would just appear and remain pretty much unnoticed by most other guests. He'd stick to people he already knew from class or elsewhere. He'd get the occasional handful of people who'd attempt to talk him up and probably get him laid or something in that direction. He would very rarely agree to anything and then just wait for a reasonable time to call it a night and go home alone.

Today, however, he walks in with Jinhyuk's arm leisurely thrown around his shoulder and that seems to be enough for everyone to notice that he exists. Before he even knows it, he's standing in a circle with the "popular kids". Yohan on his left is nervously stepping from one foot onto the other because Seungwoo is just an arms-length away from him talking to Seungyoun, the host of the party. Jinhyuk is on his right, deep in what appears to be a funny exchange with a guy he introduced to Wooseok as Byungchan. 

"Should I say something to him?" Yohan inquires right next to his left ear.

"What would you say?" Wooseok coldly engages.

"I don't know. Maybe _hi_ and _I'm Yohan_ ," the younger's voice is already shaky just from imagining talking to his crush.

"Then what?"

"Then he'll say his name..."

"Which you already know."

"Right, but he doesn't know that I know."

"Everyone kinda knows..."

"But maybe I'll seem more interesting if I pretend I didn't know."

"You'll seem like a pretentious liar, kid."

"Don't call me kid! If you see me as a kid, he might too!"

"What are the two of you whispering over there?" Seungyoun suddenly appears on Wooseok's right side. He only now notices that Jinhyuk has disappeared.

"Uh, nothing," Wooseok tries to avert the situation. "We were wondering where to get a drink."

"Oh, everything is in the kitchen," the host says with a bright smile. "Come with me, I'll show you."

Wooseok follows Seungyoun to the kitchen but not without turning around and shrugging towards Yohan as to say sorry for leaving him behind but what else could he have done.

Seungyoun gets him a cold beer from the fridge in the kitchen then leans on the kitchen counter and looks him up and down. Wooseok knows the taller from seeing him around campus but he's never talked to him before and talking to strangers is not something that comes easily to him.

"You're here with Jinhyuk, right?" Seungyoun finally breaks the uncomfortable silence between them. 

"Umm yeah," Wooseok stumbles.

"Are the two of you... you know?"

_What?_

"No, no, no, we've met in class and I guess, we're something like friends now," Wooseok says truthfully as far as he's concerned.

"I see," Seungyoun probes. "How long have you guys been hanging out?" 

"Just this week," It only now hits Wooseok that he's only known Jinhyuk for less than a week. Maybe it's because the other was a public topic of discussion on campus for the entire now almost two years that Wooseok has been a student there, but he feels he's known him for longer. Even though he can't say he knows much about Jinhyuk, he just feels as if they've been close for longer.

Wooseok almost misses Seungyoun's small chuckle before he speaks. "If I was you, I wouldn't be that sure he sees you as just friends. Not with a face like that."

"Umm," Wooseok is taken aback. The way Seungyoun says this, it sounds like Jinhyuk is plotting something behind his back. Of course, he noticed that Jinhyuk flirts a lot with him just like with everyone else. He doesn't think he's special in that. The other has definitely not attempted anything apart from that. 

He can't deny that he's intrigued by the idea of Jinhyuk potentially wanting him. It's not that Wooseok thinks about him like that but he remembers how comfortable and natural it feels to talk to Jinhyuk. Especially, when they're alone. How naturally he can touch him and not feel completely awkward as he would with almost every other person. Wooseok thinks that counts for something and wonders what he'd do if Seungyoun were to be right.

He doesn't get to entertain this thought any longer because the host seems to spot something behind Wooseok and instantaneously speaks. "Ha, I guess I was wrong after all."

Wooseok follows Seungyoun's eyes to the dark leather couch in the corner of the living room that they can see through the open two-winged door. There's Jinhyuk and on top of him, straddling him a blonde girl in a dark blue, skin-tight dress that is slightly pushed up at the seam so that it just covers her ass. They are making out. Her hands roaming around Jinhyuk's upper body, arms and neck, his hands on her waist, slender fingers pressing into the plump flesh. 

Something inside of Wooseok's stomach drops. 


	4. #4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up, there's a lot of dialogue! ^^,
> 
> if you think the high-point of angst is before chapter 5, you're kidding yourself
> 
> comments, kudos and love letters are always welcome!! <33

Wooseok makes sure to smile as genuinely as possible when he turns around to look at Seungyoun again. "See?"

"And here I was thinking he might have finally settled for someone," Seungyoun eyes Wooseok with more intensity now. "Worthwhile."

The smaller knows the look the other is currently giving him. "Are you flirting with me?"

"What if I am?" The party host casually asks with a smirk, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "Would you go on a date with me?"

Wooseok thinks it's a little forward. After all, this is literally the first time they ever talked to each other. But then again, thinking of Jinhyuk, it seems like that's just how these guys roll. Wooseok is wary, nevertheless. "You don't even know me," he states truthfully.

"I would like to get to know you," Seungyoun quickly deadpans. He doesn't add anything. Instead, he stares taking sips from his drink, smiling, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know," is all Wooseok can give him.

"Alright, how about we exchange phone numbers? If you don't like me after talking to me a little more or I annoy you in any way, feel free to block me. No hard feelings, I promise," the taller male chuckles a little as he pulls his phone out of his back pocket. "How does that sound?"

The fact that Seungyoun seems to be that interested in potentially going on a date with him, makes Wooseok laugh shyly. He doesn't have a reason to say no. As Seungyoun said, if he doesn't like him, he can just block him.

"Okay," Wooseok says and takes the other's phone to type in his number. "I should get back to my friend Yohan now, though, I'm worried if I leave him alone for too long, something might happen."

Seungyoun laughs at that. "He looks like a lost puppy at this party, doesn't he?"

"Trust me, he looks like a lost puppy all of the time not just at this party."

"Could it be that he has a little crush on Seungwoo?" 

Wooseok knows that Yohan is anything but subtle and his crush on Seungwoo is many things but not _little_ , he's still amazed at how observant Seungyoun appears to be. 

"Let's say he admires him," Wooseok tries to affirm without giving away too much of Yohan's deeper feelings for the attractive senior. "A lot."

Seungyoun nods in understanding. "Well, I hope for him it's just platonic, Seungwoo is really not into guys."

There's another drop in Wooseok's gut region. It even feels a little worse than seeing Jinhyuk make out with some random girl. Yohan talks about Seungwoo _a lot._ Wooseok knows it was probably never going to be the love story of the century with them but his best friend has already so deeply obsessed over his crush that Wooseok just knows this information will hit him hard, no matter what. He hates that he has to be the one to tell him.

Wooseok returns to the living room where Jinhyuk is still making out with the girl on the leather couch in the corner. He doesn't look their way but from the corner of his eye, he can tell they are still there, they are still at it and he's still bothered by it even though he really doesn't have a right to be. 

Yohan is sitting on one of the couches in the middle of the room around the living room table. He is currently talking to a boy Wooseok has never seen before. He looks about as harmless as anyone can look. Straight brown hair, somewhat half-lidded but not tired-looking eyes, definitely handsome. Yohan and the boy are chatting animatedly and giggling after almost every sentence they exchange. Wooseok decides to go up to them because there's really nobody else he'd want to talk to at this party and it's barely midnight - not late enough for him to just disappear.

"Hey," Wooseok puts a hand on Yohan's shoulder before he sits down next to him. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Wooseok," Yohan exclaims excitedly. "You're back! Come meet Junho. I tell you, he's the funniest guy ever."

Wooseok thinks that _the funniest guy ever_ looks extremely shy and calm but as long as he makes Yohan laugh, he's happy to meet him too. "Hey, I'm Wooseok. Nice to meet you."

They tell him how Yohan wanted to sit on the couch but because he was looking around the room to see where Wooseok went, he accidentally sat on top of Junho and that's how they started talking. 

They seem to really hit it off and Wooseok quickly feels like a third wheel. After about half an hour, he decides that he doesn't care how early or late it is. He reassures Yohan that, yes, it really is okay if he stays and Wooseok goes home by himself. He's just tired and Yohan is enjoying himself, so he shouldn't have to leave the party just to make sure they go home together.

Wooseok has to pass the couch where Jinhyuk is seated, the girl now next to him holding onto his arm while Jinhyuk is talking to someone sitting on the floor. As soon as he reaches them, he feels the need to accelerate his pace. He has barely taken ten steps out of the house when he hears the front door open again.

"Hey, Wooseok," the sound of Jinhyuk's voice makes him walk faster. "Wait, where are you going?"

He has to remind himself that Jinhyuk didn't do anything to him. He didn't do anything wrong and Wooseok doesn't really have a right to be annoyed with him right now. For all he knows, he's not even hurt, he's not even into Jinhyuk like that. It's probably just his ego that has taken a hit because he misinterpreted some signals. 

Wooseok tries to recollect himself before he turns around and speaks as nonchalantly as he possibly can. "Home."

"Oh?" Thanks to his long legs, Jinhyuk reaches him in a matter of seconds. "Is anything wrong?"

"No, I'm just really tired from this week," he isn't exactly lying, it has been an eventful week for Wooseok. "And to be perfectly honest, I didn't really want to go out tonight to begin with."

"Why did you come then?"

_Because you did the thing where you just decide something for everyone around you and I was too overwhelmed to protest_ , he wants to say but he doesn't want to start a conflict. "Because Yohan really wanted to come here. But he's met someone and enjoying himself, so I can go now."

"You're a great friend," Jinhyuk says with a wide smile as he ruffles the other's hair. Wooseok hates how much he enjoys it. 

"Tell me about it," he retorts.

"Can I drive you?" Jinhyuk offers.

"That's nice of you, but I'm fine on my own. Besides, don't you have something to get back to?"

Jinhyuk blinks in confusion. Wooseok can't believe he actually seems to have forgotten about the girl. _What a player._ He nods towards the house then theatrically opens his eyes to help Jinhyuk's memory. 

"Ah, the girl?" The older finally blurts out with a frown. "That's not really important."

"Isn't that a little mean?"

Jinhyuk shrugs. "It's just one of those party hook-ups that's more situational than anything," he tilts his head and cringes. "It doesn't mean anything and aaaah-" He lets out a pained sigh as if he's struggling to even talk about it.

"What?"

"Honestly, I didn't even want it anymore. I guess it's just a habit. Like, she came at me - probably just so she can tell her friends she's been with me - and out of habit, I gave in but truthfully, I didn't even want it. Lately, I don't enjoy these things anymore and..." Jinhyuk lets out a breathy laugh. "I'm sorry, you don't want to know. You just want to go home and I'm chewing your ear off. Are you sure you don't want me to drive you home? I'm kinda bummed we didn't get to talk at all tonight."

Wooseok is confused again. He's slightly annoyed that all this boy ever does is confuse him. He's annoyed that he either makes him feel really good about himself or completely irritates him. There's nothing in between. What's worse is that he can tell Jinhyuk is honest in what he says. Even if Wooseok doesn't understand the whirlwind that is Lee Jinhyuk, he can tell the latter is not lying but tonight, that doesn't help his case.

"You literally live 5 minutes from here," Wooseok argues. "And I live all the way back on campus, it doesn't make sense."

"Let me at least call you an Uber then. I just want to make sure you get home safe."

Wooseok wants to argue with that. He wants to tell him that he doesn't want him to pay for anything related to himself. He doesn't want to owe him anything but instead, he hears himself say: "Fine."

When the Uber drops him off at the dorms, Wooseok feels his phone buzz in his pocket.

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_was the ride okay?_

**You**

_yeah_

_can't complain_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_5 stars?_

**You**

_5 stars_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_does he get a tip?_

**You**

_no_

_he played the same song_

_the entire 30 minutes_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_lord no_

_I'm sorry_

**You**

_it's okay_

_thank you btw_

_enjoy the rest of the party_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_I'm already home as well_

_good night~_

**You**

_night._

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_:))_

* * *

Wooseok doesn't hear from Jinhyuk over the entire weekend. Yohan and Junho start to spend more time together and when he says more time, he means all of their free time. Yohan hasn't talked about Seungwoo even once since the party and Wooseok feels somewhat relieved that the issue of having to tell him that his ultimate crush is straighter than a broomstick seems to have resolved itself.

On Sunday, he gets a text from Cho Seungyoun asking him to meet up that day. Wooseok can't so they text back and forth but the conversation naturally comes to a quick end. Seungyoun inquires about whether the other has given any thought to going on a date with him. Wooseok thinks he's nice and maybe he should just give it a chance. He tells him that if in a week's time, he's still not annoyed with him, they'll go on a date. Seungyoun sends a line of celebratory gifs and Wooseok feels flattered.

Tuesday comes before he even knows it and he finds himself sitting in _Chinese History_ again. They don't have arranged seats but Wooseok is a creature of habit so he sits at the same table with the same dude who usually falls asleep within the first 20 minutes of the lecture. 

But apparently, not today because Jinhyuk suddenly appears and asks the guy if he could have his seat. Of course, he gets it and sits down with one of his dashing smiles. They can only exchange the tiniest bit of small talk before the class starts.

Wooseok likes to doodle when he cannot follow the class and with _Chinese History_ that happens really fast. Jinhyuk admires his artistic skills and asks him to draw something on his hand, so Wooseok draws an eye.

"Pretty! Is it yours?" The taller asks with wiggling eyebrows. 

"Yeah, it means I'm always watching you, so behave," Wooseok jokes.

"Yessir!"

About 20 minutes before the class ends, Jinhyuk passes a note to Wooseok to read.

_I hear your 2 pm class is cancelled today_

Wooseok replies: _stalker much?_

Jinhyuk laughs: _no, my friend Changhyun is in the same class_

Wooseok looks at him with wide eyes. "I know Changhyun!"

"I know," Jinhyuk whispers with what Wooseok would describe as a shy smile if the other had one. "I told him about you and he told me you're in that class."

Jinhyuk tells his friends about him? Another piece of paper finds its way to his side of the table. 

It reads: _do you wanna hang out later?_

Then Jinhyuk adds something underneath: _have some ice cream?_

Wooseok takes the paper and hides what he writes behind a hand, then pushes it over to the other's side of the desk: _I'd rather have a tornado potato :)_

"Deal!" Jinhyuk says with a huge grin.

They go to a stand near the campus to grab a tornado potato each and decide to take a walk while they eat. 

"So, I have noticed that ever since we got to know each other a little, I've been talking about myself a lot and I barely know anything about you," Jinhyuk states a couple of steps down the street.

"What would you like to know?" Wooseok asks with a full mouth.

"Oh, don't tell me you're one of those annoying people who never tell you anything about themselves unless you ask," the taller states with round cheeks from the food. 

Now that he says it, Wooseok thinks that's exactly the type of person he is. It's not that he has secrets or anything to hide, it's just that he tends to feel uncomfortable talking about himself if not asked. 

"I'm afraid, yes."

"Ugh," Jinhyuk lets out. "Well, luckily, I know how to deal with people like you."

He pulls out his phone with the hand that is not holding the potato stick and starts typing. "We need one of those questions-to-ask-people-about-themselves articles... alright, this looks good."

Wooseok thinks it's a very clever thing to do because - in his experience - most people would just give up and end up talking about themselves again but Jinhyuk seems to really want to get to know him better as well. He can't help but feel giddy at the thought of that. 

"Here we go," Jinhyuk starts. "Number one: You only get 3 words to describe yourself - what are they?"

Wooseok thinks as he chews. "Hmmm quiet."

"Oh yes," Jinhyuk throws in.

"Creative," Wooseok continues and Jinhyuk nods. "Aaaaand..."

Jinhyuk looks at him with big eyes. "Come on, say it! I know you want to."

Wooseok puts his hand up to hide a giggle. "Handsome!"

"Thank god, he knows!"

Wooseok has to laugh out loud now. "What about you?"

"Let me direct that back at you, what 3 words would you use to describe me?"

"Oh, easy," Wooseok retorts. "Popular, charismatic and confusing."

"How am I confusing?"

Wooseok shrugs. "You're the push-and-pull type of person."

"If that's true, I don't do it on purpose!"

"Which makes it even worse," the smaller laughs.

Jinhyuk furrows his eyebrows but he still smiles. "Well, thanks for letting me know, I'll watch out for that now."

"Next question," Wooseok demands.

"Yessir, number two: What's something everyone else loves that you secretly find overrated?"

Wooseok doesn't have to think twice. "Parties."

"Makes sense," Jinhyuk concludes. "Alright, another one! Oh, I like this one: Have you ever had a crush on an animated character?"

"Hmmm, no, I don't think so. Although, I do think _Spider-Man_ is pretty fine."

Jinhyuk lets out a hearty laugh and Wooseok feels a little proud that he made it happen. "Oh my, for me it's the one and only Elsa!"

"Why am I not surprised?"

"You've been to my room, you've seen the evidence."

"Another question!"

"Oh, you like this, huh? Okay, let's see: What's the weirdest nickname you've ever had?"

"I don't really have nicknames. I guess, _Wooseok comma Kim_ is high up there."

"Hey," Jinhyuk exclaims. "Take that back, Wooseok comma Kim is the most endearing nickname you will ever have!"

Wooseok laughs. "Do you have any nicknames?"

"Some of my friends call me Wei and none of us can remember why. Then also Jenga..."

"Jenga?"

"It's from a song I wrote, maybe I'll let you have a listen sometime."

"Oh, I'd love to," Wooseok is genuinely intrigued by the idea of hearing the music that Jinhyuk produces. He was wondering about his style ever since he heard that he makes music at all. 

"Alright, one last question because I'm all out of potato and I'd like to go back for a second one."

"Okay," Wooseok shortly replies with a laugh.

"Ooh, interesting, something different now: Which personality traits do you want your partner to have?"

Wooseok stops. He really tries to think hard but he can't come up with anything. "Honestly, I have nothing."

"Ah, come on. Do you have a crush? What are they like?"

Wooseok looks up at him with big eyes because the only person that just came to his mind is the one standing right in front of him and asking the question and he's not even sure he has a crush on Jinhyuk. He has an inkling if anything. 

"Or an ex?" Jinhyuk adds.

"I do have exes but I don't really want my ideal partner to be like them or I'd still be with them."

"You have a point," Jinhyuk nods. "But like, what made you fall for them in the first place?"

"I really don't know. It's just something I can't put into words-- the way they made me feel."

"Interesting," the taller male seems to contemplate on that statement.

"What about you? What are you looking for in all of those countless dates?"

"Nothing, really," Jinhyuk retorts. "I barely ever have any serious dates."

"You're always on a date, I don't believe that."

"You better believe it," Jinhyuk snorts. "Look, I'm the popular guy, you know. I'm the guy they call charismatic, they call me cool, they call me attractive, they even call me cute but once the date is over and they have a couple of good Instagram pictures to show off, they don't call me."

"Ouch," Wooseok says. "That must suck."

"I thought so in the beginning, like, I have no clue how I got so popular. Now, it doesn't mean anything to me but I was so happy back then when the influential people of the uni started to invite me everywhere and so on, but the downside was I kept realising that a lot of people just hung out with me for the clout. Same thing with dates, I never know who might actually like me and who is just trying to get invited to a party or get an Instagram picture that would blow up..."

Wooseok feels bad that he never tried to understand Jinhyuk as a person separate from himself. He was so preoccupied figuring out what the other might want from him that he just analysed his behaviour in terms of any normal person. But Jinhyuk's situation is different from his and his friends'. 

He suddenly understands how that passage from the book he read at Jinhyuk's place relates to him and why he seemed to have read it so many times. "You're surrounded by people all the time," he hears himself say. "But you're lonely."

"Oh, I'm okay," Jinhyuk smiles but it falters a little. "I don't feel lonely with you or with Gyujin or Changhyun and a couple of other friends I have you probably don't know."

The fact that Jinhyuk doesn't feel lonely when he's with him brings a soft smile to Wooseok's face. 

Jinhyuk continues. "And besides, there's good sides to it, like I don't have to worry that I'll hurt anyone's feelings in general but also, if I want to I can just pack up my stuff and move to Mexico or something and not worry that I'm leaving anyone behind who'd be heartbroken about it. The ultimate freedom."

"See? Total push-and-pull," Wooseok concludes almost a little disappointed.

"Oh my," Jinhyuk looks like someone who just had an epiphany. "I _am_ confusing."

He shrugs. "Whatever, let's get me a second potato! Do you want another one?"

"No thanks, but I'll happily watch you eat."

"You want to watch me eat? Is that a fetish of yours, Wooseok comma Kim?" Jinhyuk comically narrows his eyes.

"You've found me out," Wooseok retorts with a laugh as they walk back towards the tornado potato stand.


	5. #5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that it took me so long with this one! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and I promise to update the rest faster! 
> 
> <333

Wooseok is absentmindedly poking in his salad as Yohan recaps and gushes over his and Junho's developing relationship. He is really happy for them, especially, because his friend is no longer holding onto the idea of someone whom he could've never had.

Junho seems like a nice kid but, of course, with a heart-eyed Yohan attached to his arm at all times, Wooseok never really has the chance to get to know the new boy on his friend's side properly.

What he can gather is that Junho studies at a different university from theirs but the two campuses are really close so it's not exactly the "distance relationship" that Yohan likes to make it out to be for dramatic romance purposes. He comes from a wealthy family in Seoul which Wooseok finds out after Yohan receives multiple bouquets of expensive flowers delivered to his tiny dorm room together with lounge tickets to highly sought-after idol concerts.

Yohan seems happy. More than happy and Wooseok thinks that's all that matters.

"He just gets me," Yohan is still on cloud nine. "And I know all his flaws and we fight sometimes and we make up and then we make out-"

"Alright, enough," Wooseok had almost forgotten that Eunsang was at the table as well because Yohan went on by himself for so long. "You have a boyfriend and you're happy, we get it. We're all for it, mostly because you're not embarrassingly pining over a straight boy anymore. But for the love of god, if you now go on and start telling us about your make-out sessions, I will throw up on you."

Wooseok chuckles while Yohan frowns.

"You know, it was very different with Seungwoo," Yohan's face suddenly gets all serious and sophisticated as if he's holding a TED Talk. "Like, he could've sold me on the black market and I would've probably thanked him for it. I was seriously delusional."

"Why the past tense?" Eunsang throws in coldly. 

Yohan looks at him with narrowed eyes. "Remind me again, why do we tolerate this kid?"

"He helped you dye your hair red when you found out that it's Seungwoo's favourite colour and you can be grateful because had I done it, you'd probably be bald now," Wooseok answers matter-of-factly. "Didn't help the fact that it just looked stupid on you, though."

"Hey," Yohan retorts with a pout. "I think I was a dashing redhead!"

"And that's my cue to leave," Eunsang says with a cute but fake smile as he gets up, packs his stuff and leaves with a nod in Wooseok's direction.

"I mean, does he have to be that rude all the time?" Yohan starts one of his bi-weekly rants about Eunsang and his behaviour towards him, _"his senior"_ , but Wooseok is only half-listening because right at that moment his phone vibrates three times in a row.

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_WARNING_

_I'm about to approach you from behind_

_don't get scared~_

Wooseok smiles at his phone then turns around to find the sender of the message only two meters - or one and a half Jinhyuk-steps - away from him. "Hey," he offers.

"Hi," Jinhyuk answers with one of his blinding smiles. "Thought I'd warn you this time."

Wooseok laughs and Yohan is confused. "What are you two talking about? Did I miss anything?"

"You're always missing something," Wooseok throws at him with a roll of his eyes.

"You know what?" Yohan declares as he stands up. "I will not sit around here and be bullied any longer. I have a boyfriend to call."

The younger is just about to leave when Jinhyuk asks. "You have a boyfriend? Congratulations! Who is it?"

Wooseok looks at him with what he hopes to be am intimidating stare. "Don't!"

He's too late. Yohan sits down again and spends another 15 minutes telling Jinhyuk all about his new soulmate. The older looking at him with much interest nodding, reacting and smiling when appropriate.

Wooseok thinks it's endearing as he observes the way the expressions on Jinhyuk's face change with every new account of Yohan's story.

Since the tornado potato two weeks ago, they'd been spending much more time together. Wooseok thinks he can definitely call Jinhyuk his friend now. Only that the word friend doesn't quite cut it because he knows that it's because of this "friendship" that he tells Seungyoun he can't go on a date with him because it wouldn't feel right at the time.

It's because of this "friendship" that Yohan constantly teases him for fondly smiling at his phone. It's because of his "friendly" feelings for him that Wooseok notices how Jinhyuk's whole face adorably wrinkles when he genuinely laughs. He notices his set of perfectly arranged white upper teeth and thinks that as far as teeth go, Jinhyuk's are cute. 

He notices how Jinhyuk tends to shake his head when his hair gets into his face, instead of easily removing it with a hand. He notices how Jinhyuk's left and right hand are so synchronised that he sometimes does the same gesture with both even if it's not necessary. Like that one time when he pointed at a cute cat across the street with his right and the left, that was holding onto Wooseok's wrist, did the same pointing gesture. 

Suddenly, the sound of Yohan's phone ringing pulls him out of his trance, followed by a high-pitched shriek. "It's him!" Yohan excitedly exclaims as he gets up and literally storms out of the cafeteria while picking up his phone. 

Jinhyuk chuckles. "Ah, don't you just love love?"

Wooseok looks at him with played judgement.

"What? I'm a hopeless romantic," Jinhyuk defends.

"You are?"

"Yes, just because I can't find it in my own life, doesn't mean I don't appreciate seeing it in others."

Comments like this one make Wooseok understand that his "friendship" with Jinhyuk is just a friendship after all. 

"Anyway, I got the best news," Jinhyuk starts with a wide smile. "I wanted to tell you all day!"

Wooseok can't help but feel warm about the prospect of the other thinking of telling him something all day. "What is it?"

"I sold four songs to this one hip-hop group from Busan," Jinhyuk exclaims with excitement.

"Oh my god, Jinhyuk, that's amazing! Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Jinhyuk moves closer to him over the table. "They're actually quite well-known down there and are looking to expand their reach now. They even want to use one of my songs as the title track on their new album."

"I'm so happy for you. You deserve it," Wooseok says as he recalls the many times Jinhyuk would send him a text in the middle of the night because he'd still be working on his music, looking for a distraction when it doesn't go as he wants. 

"Hey, I told you not to spoil me with compliments," Jinhyuk chimes in. "Especially, not when you haven't even heard any of my songs yet."

"Well, who's fault is that?" 

"Mine, I know," Jinhyuk says and wiggles his upper body as he continues. "But I'm just too shy."

Wooseok scoffs. In his opinion, Jinhyuk is many things but definitely not shy.

"What I wanted to tell you, though. I have to go to Busan for 4-5 days for this, so I won't be around next week and we had planned to meet to finish that presentation," Wooseok is always amazed at how organised Jinhyuk is despite everything that is going on in his life. "Can we postpone it for a week? Or is that too late for you?"

Wooseok laughs. "No, it's still super early. If you weren't my partner, I'd probably find myself aggressively finishing it the night before it's due."

Jinhyuk giggles at that. "Alright. So, what are we doing this afternoon?"

" _We_ are not doing anything, _I_ have to read an 82-page text for one of my classes for tomorrow," Wooseok sighs.

"You could read it at my place?"

"Nice try," Wooseok scoffs. "But no way, you're a walking distraction."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Jinhyuk gives him a cheeky grin. "What if I let you listen to one of the songs I just told you about?"

"I'd say I'm intrigued?"

"Then pack up your stuff and let's go," Jinhyuk says as he gets up.

When Wooseok doesn't move, Jinhyuk looks at him with widened eyes. "What else do you have to offer?"

"Oh, I see, you're not an easy man, Wooseok comma Kim?" Jinhyuk sits down again. "Well, you're free to read all of my books, we have Lay's chips in, like, six different flavours because Gyujin has issues, we can order real food and," he reaches into his bag that he'd tossed under the table earlier. "I got you the purple marshmallows that you like so much."

Wooseok thinks there's no way Jinhyuk didn't see his heart jump right into his throat and back but the other doesn't say anything just smiles at him in expectation. "You had me at your music but a pro should never take the first offer."

Jinhyuk laughs and gets up again. This time Wooseok goes with him.

* * *

Wooseok has already figured that Jinhyuk is a touchy guy. Not in an inappropriate way or anything, he just needs a lot of physical contact. 

Right now, however, is by far the most physical contact he has ever shared with the other. He'd pulled Wooseok onto his lap to sit in front of the computer. A long arm snaked around his middle while Jinhyuk's cheek is pressed against his arm peaking at the computer screen, holding the mouse with the other hand. 

Be it because he has by now come to terms with Jinhyuk not being your average guy or because somewhere buried deeper than Yohan's sense of shame he sort of hopes that it could mean something more, but Wooseok lets it happen.

"Alright," Jinhyuk declares. "So, this is the one they want to use as a title track."

He picks up the headphones from the table and plugs them in then proceeds to put them on Wooseok's head their fingers lightly touching as he tries to adjust it himself. 

"It's just the demo tape, so don't be too cruel."

"Just play it already," Wooseok nags.

Jinhyuk presses play then puts his other arm around Wooseok as well and buries his face in the back of the younger's neck as if he was a frightened, small kid who hopes the monsters would go away if he just hugs his pillow really tightly.

He would be more distracted by this kind of embrace if it wasn't for the song. It's nice, mallow and nostalgic instrumentals over a mid-tempo beat. It's so professionally done that Wooseok is astounded he actually knows the producer. 

It starts with the chorus, a beautiful high-pitched voice repeating the same two sentences. Wooseok thinks he's never heard a voice like this. It's almost angelic, he takes a mental note to ask Jinhyuk later.

Most of the song is rapping and it's really good. The rapper has a comfortable but playful voice which you wouldn't expect to go with a song like this but maybe because of the contrast, it does. It definitely works perfectly with the ethereal vocals of the singer of the chorus. 

Wooseok knows it's just a demo tape and those won't be the final voices to sing this song but he kind of wishes they were because it sounds complete with them. He can't really imagine how someone else would interpret it.

He really gets into it in the last verse. The rapper gets more intense, faster, almost a little aggressive but the lyrics are about meeting someone you've lost again. It's not anger, it's pain and Wooseok can feel it. The lyrics are so cleverly loaded with emotion that he wants to look them up just to make sure he doesn't miss anything.

He doesn't know how to feel when the song ends, so he just sits still on Jinhyuk's lap. Wooseok feels the others head moving slowly moving away from his neck, then two hands taking off the headphones again.

"What do you say?" Jinhyuk's voice is unusually low and timid.

"You made this?" Wooseok is still a little shocked. "Did you write the lyrics too?"

"Yeah," Jinhyuk's answer is barely a whisper.

"Oh my god?" he turns a little on Jinhyuk's lap so that he's now sitting sideways, the other doesn't remove his arms around his waist.

"What?"

"Jinhyuk! It's so good, you should never be doing anything else but making music. Honestly, screw your parents, quit history. Like, what the hell, you're so talented!"

"You'll make me blush," he buries his head again, now on Wooseok's shoulder.

Wooseok takes the other's face into his hands to pull it up so he can look at him. "I'm serious! And I know it's just the demo but you found the perfect voices for this song, that alone is a talent. The singer sounds like an angel and honestly, I don't know who it is but this might be my favourite rapper in the world."

"Umm," Jinhyuk awkwardly lets out not being able to move his head that is trapped between Wooseok's hands his eyes roaming around embarrassingly trying to look anywhere but at the other male.

"This is _you_?" Wooseok's jaw drops a little. "You're rapping on this?"

"Guilty."

"You're this good and you never thought of performing yourself?"

"It's not that I've never thought of it, I just have the worst case of stage fright," Jinhyuk now looks down, his cheeks a little pushed together by Wooseok's hands make him look so adorable that Wooseok almost coos. He thinks he'd just developed a new-found ambition to peck the other's nose but of course, he doesn't. "Once I threw up in front of everyone just when I was about to perform. Never went on a stage again. Not planning on doing it anytime soon."

Wooseok lets go of his head, his hands sinking down to rest on Jinhyuk's broad shoulders. Once again he takes notice of how natural it feels to be this close to one of the most popular guys on campus. "Well, honestly, I hope you can overcome that. Someone this talented should not hide away."

"Alright, that's enough of making me uncomfortable for the day," Jinhyuk removes one of his hands from around Wooseok's waist just to loop it underneath the backside of his knees and pick him up bridal style as he gets up from the chair himself. "Let's eat something."

Jinhyuk tosses him on his bed and Wooseok sits back, propping himself up on his elbows. The taller is still standing, towering over him, looking at him in a way that Wooseok doesn't know how to interpret. He doesn't want to read into it but the older's gaze sends shivers down his spine, something squeezes in his gut region and lower too.

"So, uh, should I order some food?" Jinhyuk asks long limbs awkwardly flailing around. 

Wooseok really hopes his voice doesn't come out anything other than acceptably normal when he speaks. "Pizza?"

"Sounds good."

* * *

Wooseok actually misses him when he goes to Busan. Jinhyuk is only gone for 4 days but he misses him. Wooseok is not really sure what to do with that kind of information. 

He's having dinner with Yohan in their shared kitchenette when his phone vibrates and he can't help but smile at it.

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_I got you something_

_just saw it and couldn't resist~_

"Is it him?", Yohan inquires between mouthfuls of rice. Wooseok just rolls his eyes at him and Yohan adds. "It's him."

A picture that Jinhyuk has sent together with his message loads. It's his hand holding a Spider-Man mug and Wooseok laughs out loud.

"Did he send a dickpic?"

"Why would he send me a dickpic out of nowhere?" Wooseok asks in annoyance.

Yohan shrugs. "Don't know how far you are in your relationship?"

"Once and for all, we're not in a relationship."

Another text comes in and makes Wooseok chuckle.

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_just try to keep it in your pants when I gift it to you~~_

"I see, the stage of denial," Yohan concludes with a nod. "You have a long way to go before your first dickpic..."

"Oh, please shut up."

* * *

A week later, Wooseok finds himself on his way to the cafe Jinhyuk introduced to him. They have arranged to meet there to finish their presentation for Chinese History but Wooseok is just giddy to be seeing the other again. 

When he enters, however, Jinhyuk is there with another pretty boy sitting next to him. Both of them are completely immersed looking at a laptop screen. 

"Hey," Wooseok greets shyly not being good with new people.

"Wooseok," Jinhyuk looks up and grins widely then gets up to pull the smaller male into a hug. "I missed you. How have you been? Come on, sit down."

Wooseok sits down across from Jinhyuk his eyes moving from Jinhyuk to the other male. "Oh, sorry, I almost forgot, this is Yein. He studies music at our uni and he helps me out every now and then. You already know him, kind of. He's the voice," Jinhyuk looks at Wooseok with big eyes but the smaller doesn't quite understand. "From the demo tape."

"Ah," it finally clicks. "You have a beautiful voice." Wooseok is not one to compliment someone he just met but he remembers how insane he thought the voice sounded that he just can't help it.

"Oh, thank you," Yein chuckles. Wooseok thinks his talking voice is just as pretty and he's a little perplexed that someone actually sounds like that. "You're Wooseok, right?"

"Yes," Wooseok smiles. "Nice to meet you."

"Sorry, by the way," Jinhyuk says not looking up from the laptop in front of him. "I'm almost done here and then we can start working on the Kuomintang presentation."

"It's okay," Wooseok says. "I have time. So, are you guys recording a new song?"

"Ah no, Jinhyuk is helping me write a song for the university festival," Yein says with a smile. "I'm performing!"

"Oh, that's cool."

"You should come," Yein turns to Jinhyuk. "Are you bringing him?"

"If he wants to, sure," Jinhyuk is still looking at the screen as he forms a small but genuine smile. "You already like him that much. It's easy, isn't it?"

"Yeah, he has a very kind face," Yein says and Wooseok thinks the boy is one to talk. He literally looks and sounds like an angel.

"Umm, thanks," Wooseok feels flattered so he decides to go and order a coffee just for his blush to pass. "I'm going to order something, do you guys want anything?"

"Ah, no thank you," Yein answers. "I'll be on my way in a minute."

"One more of these," Jinhyuk throws in pointing at an almost empty glass of what Wooseok assumes is the sugary frappuccino drink he had the last time they'd been here. "Please."

He doesn't really know what it is or how he would order it but he's sure the barista would know.

A couple of minutes later, Wooseok has already returned to the table and is sipping on his coffee, chatting with Yein whom he sort of warms up to really quickly. He learns that Jinhyuk and Yein have known each other for a long time. They've been childhood friends and even went to the same school. Apparently, he's one of Jinhyuk's oldest friends and the way they interact feels completely different to Wooseok than how the taller male usually is with his popular friends from university. He seems much more himself with Yein, just like how he is when they are alone. 

"Alright," Jinhyuk exclaims. "I'm done! I'll just quickly use the bathroom and by the time I come back it should already be in our shared folder, alright?"

"Yes," Yein instantly starts packing up his stuff. "Thank you so much again."

"Of course," Jinhyuk says as he walks away from their table towards the bathroom in the back of the cafe.

"I'm so happy we managed to finish this today," Yein tells Wooseok. "I'll need to practice a lot, it's only a couple more weeks but I couldn't do anything without the definite melody."

"I'm glad," Wooseok replies. "He's good at that, isn't he?"

"He's the best. He showed you the demo tape for the song he just sold?"

"Yes, it's amazing," Wooseok speaks excitedly. "And I didn't even know he could rap like that."

"Oh?" Yein looks surprised. "He told you he's the rapper? He must really like you then." The younger chuckles.

Wooseok is a little dumbfounded by that statement. He can't help but smile, so he looks down at his coffee cup. 

"Ah," Yein says knowingly. "I see."

Wooseok looks up astounded. He wants to say something but right then, Jinhyuk comes back from the bathroom and takes his seat again. "Awesome, it worked."

He closes the laptop and Yein gets up from his chair. "Alright then, I'll be on my way," he turns to Wooseok. "Take care of him for me, will you? He's become a little careless since he started uni."

Wooseok is intrigued by the statement but instead of asking anything he gives Yein a smile and nods. 

They spend a couple of hours at the cafe and decide to call it a day when it starts getting dark. Wooseok can hear distant thunder as soon as they are outside, he wonders if it's going to rain. He kind of hope so because it's been quite polluted the last couple of weeks and he can imagine the rain making it better. 

"I'll walk you to your dorm," Jinhyuk says when they make their way in the direction of the university. 

About ten minutes later, as if the sky opens up, it starts pouring rain. They run towards Wooseok's dorm building. 

"Am I even allowed here?" Jinhyuk inquires when Wooseok invites him to wait it out in his room.

"You're not," Wooseok retorts. "But you look like any other student, so they won't know that you're not a resident unless you tell them."

Once they arrive at Wooseok's room, they make sure to take off their drenched clothes and replace them with dry ones. Jinhyuk is a bit too big for most of Wooseok's clothes, so he ends up wearing boxers and an over-sized beige knit pullover that just looks regular-sized on him. The younger just wears his own pyjamas. 

They sit on the bed and talk for another hour or two when Wooseok realises that he's starting to get sleepy. "Do you want to sleep here? I don't think it's going to stop raining anytime soon."

"Are you sure?" Jinhyuk probes. "I can call an Uber."

"Jinhyuk, don't be silly. It's really late," Wooseok reasons. "Sleep here, okay?"

"Okay."

A couple of minutes later, they lie in the dark, their bodies turned to face each other being able to only make out the general traits of the other's face. Jinhyuk, of course, has one of his long arms around Wooseok's waist pulling him in so close that the smaller doesn't even need to see anything since he can feel the other's breath on his face. 

Jinhyuk's other hand is busy tracing the outlines of Wooseok's face while the younger has both of his hands playing with the pendant of Jinhyuk's necklace close to his chest.

"I really missed you," Jinhyuk says as his index finger pushes strands of hair out of Wooseok's face. 

"I missed you too," Wooseok admits. "Who would've thought, huh?"

"Hey, what does that mean?" the taller inquires with played insult. 

"Just that when Prof. Ma called out my partner's name, I never thought you'd be the type of person I'd end up in bed cuddling with."

"What type of person am I to you then?"

"That's a tough question," Wooseok retorts. "You have many different sides."

"You already told me that I push and pull a lot."

"Yes, just one of your many annoying habits," Wooseok jokes.

Jinhyuk gasps. "Rude! What other annoying habits do I have that I don't know of?"

"Well, there's that one thing you do but you've been doing it less lately."

"Aha?"

"You decide things for everyone around you without asking them what they want," Wooseok explains and remembers a couple of instances.

"What?" Jinhyuk sounds surprised. "I want to think I always ask people for their opinions before making decisions that involve them."

"Oh, you do ask but you don't wait for an answer or you ask in a way that already suggests what people are supposed to answer or do. It's super annoying."

"I guess, I do do that," Wooseok can tell that Jinhyuk gives it thought before he speaks again. "It's just that people would always turn to me for an answer anyway. Like, they expect me to take the lead, so I guess at some point I just started doing it even when it wasn't necessary."

"Isn't that exhausting?" the smaller asks.

"Most things are exhausting but someone's gotta do it, right?" 

"It doesn't have to be you, though," Wooseok says just above a whisper. 

He can see that Jinhyuk smiles. It's a pretty, genuine and small smile. Wooseok kind of wishes the lights were turned on so that he could see it better but he's also grateful they're off because otherwise, Jinhyuk would be able to tell just how much he's blushing right now.

The taller unwraps his arm that has been around Wooseok's waist and cups his head with both of his hands instead. His thumbs brush over the younger's cheekbones as they make eye contact. Jinhyuk stares at him for what feels like an eternity and Wooseok's heartbeat and breathing completely elude his control. He really tries to force himself to breathe in a way that could be considered normal but he knows that it's probably giving him away. 

Jinhyuk moves in closer if that is even possible. He leans in, his face so incredibly close to Wooseok's own that the latter stops breathing altogether. 

He kisses his left cheek. So softly that Wooseok barely feels it and yet it sets his skin on fire. He kisses his right cheek in the same manner then leans back again. 

Jinhyuk looks at him for a good couple of seconds that feel so much longer. He smiles then leans in again to place a kiss on the top of his nose. He closes Wooseok's eyes with the thumbs that have now stopped tracing his cheekbones. Then a soft kiss to his left eye. Another to his right eye. 

Wooseok feels so dizzy he thinks he'll pass out anytime. It's all too much but entirely not enough because those desired lips don't make their way to where he wants them the most. 

Instead, Jinhyuk places them on his forehead and lets them rest there a little. Tender but assertive. 

When he moves away, he lets his face hover a little over Wooseok's. Their mouths just a centimeter apart. Their lips are so painfully close that Wooseok can practically feel them there like you can sometimes sense another person standing behind you even when you cannot see them. 

They breathe each other in like that for a while longer. 


	6. #6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, here we go!
> 
> I'm sorry ö.ö

They don't kiss. 

Instead, Jinhyuk lets go of his cheeks but not before stroking down Wooseok's face with the back of his hand one more time. He doesn't kiss him again. Just long arms snaking around his waist, pulling him in, pressing him flush against himself. Jinhyuk's head on top of his hair, his own pressed against the other's neck. A whispered _goodnight_. An intimate scent. Then silence.

Wooseok feels a familiar sensation in his chest. Like the feeling when you trip over something and you think you're about to fall but you don't and you relax. Only that he doesn't relax. It doesn't pass. It lingers heavy on top of his drumming heartbeat weighing him down in Jinhyuk's arms. The physical manifestation of anxiousness. A sign that his body knows better than his heart. That maybe this warmth, this body against his, this ardent adoration he undeniably feels for the other, just maybe this is not a safe place to fall asleep.

* * *

They don't talk about what happened the next morning. Jinhyuk leaves pretty early because he has a class at 10 AM and wants to go home and change his clothes before it. He thanks Wooseok and gives a squeeze to his hand before bidding him goodbye with a peck on his cheek. 

Wooseok closes the door behind him and doesn't even move away enough to open the window when he hears a knock. He thinks Jinhyuk has forgotten something but it turns out to be Yohan who lets himself in the second the door opens. 

"Did I just see Lee Jinhyuk sneaking out of your room in the early hours of the morning?" 

"Yes, you did and before you get inappropriate, nothing happened," Wooseok answers already annoyed to have him in his room at this hour.

"Did you sleep in this bed?" The younger points towards the clearly used bed.

"Yes?"

"Both of you?" His eyes widen.

"Uh-huh," Wooseok retorts.

"This is a small bed," Yohan states the facts. "And Jinhyuk is a big boy."

"What are you trying to get at?" 

"How close were you?" The younger leans in just a little too close into Wooseok's face, so he gently slaps him.

"Alright, we might have cuddled a little," he admits.

"Aha! There! What else are you hiding from me?" Yohan exclaims now sitting down on Wooseok's chair that is opposite of his bed.

"I'm not hiding anything," Wooseok whines a little. "It's just, ugh, I don't really understand it myself and before I do, I don't think I should discuss it with an idiot like you."

"You mean an idiot who is in a happy relationship with his soulmate?" Yohan argues.

Wooseok thinks he has a point there. "Alright, I'll tell you but promise you won't act weird in front of him when you see him next time."

"What do you mean act weird?"

"This is a mistake-"

"Okay, okay, I promise, I won't even look in his direction," Yohan puts up a hand as if to take a vow.

"And that's not weird given your track record of swooning over him?" Wooseok says with a playful frown.

"Ah, come on, spill the tea already!"

So, Wooseok tells him everything that happened in as much detail as he possibly can without feeling embarrassed himself. When he finishes, Yohan has both of his hands in front of his mouth which doesn't do anything to block off his squeal. 

"Oh my god," he finally says. "That's the softest, most wholesome thing I have ever heard and it's absolutely unfair that an asshole like you gets to experience it."

"Thanks," Wooseok responds to the insult. "Soft and wholesome is all good but what does it mean? Like, he wouldn't even kiss me on my mouth..."

"And you would have _really_ wanted that?" Yohan wiggles his eyebrows at him.

"Well, yes!" Wooseok exclaims a little louder than he wanted then covers his face with both of his hands and falls backwards onto his bed.

"Oh my," he can hear Yohan giggle from the chair. "You're so whipped!"

"I'm not whipped," his voice is muffled by the hands that are still covering his face. 

"Oh, you are," the younger teases. "You like him so much."

"Yohan," Wooseok now says in a more serious tone as he removes his hands to look at the younger. "I think I'm in love."

A shriek, then a loud thud. Yohan falls off the chair then crawls towards Wooseok on all fours. " _Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!_ "

"Stop it," the older says from the bed. "Go away."

"You have to tell him!"

"No way!"

"You have to!"

"I don't have to do anything!"

"He clearly likes you too," Yohan says grabbing one of Wooseok's hands to hold with both of his own. "Think about it. Have you ever seen Jinhyuk having a problem making out with anyone? Just for the sake of it?" 

He doesn't give Wooseok any chance to answer. "No, he just does it."

"So, him _not_ kissing me is somehow telling you that he likes me?"

"Obviously!"

"How is that obvious?" The older is starting to get annoyed.

"He's shy or he doesn't want to fuck things up with you or-"

"Or he just sees me as a friend and doesn't want to fuck that up," Wooseok reasons.

"No," Yohan shakes his head vehemently. "Why would he be kissing your face romantically like that?"

He knows that the younger has a point but Jinhyuk is a weird guy, he wouldn't be surprised if it turns out he just randomly felt like finding out what it feels like to kiss someone's eyelid.

"Ah, I don't know," Wooseok shakes his head as he sits up on his bed. "He is so hard to read."

"Okay, so how about you go find him later today and ask him about last night?"

"I can't just walk up to him and ask him why he wouldn't kiss me on my mouth," Wooseok rolls his eyes.

"No, but you can ask him - as a friend who is just wondering - whether anything from last night meant anything because it might be normal to him but you usually don't hold your friends' faces and kiss them all over as you lie in bed with them," Yohan states with sassy hand gestures. "And if he goes: _"Ah, what? I do that with everyone, Gyujin come here let me give you a smooch!"_ Fine, then you don't have to confess but chances are he's gonna tell you that no, it's not what he usually does, it's because he likes you and you'll tell him you like him too and I'll finally have a couple to go on double dates with!"

As much as he wants to deny it, Yohan's plan doesn't sound half bad. Of course, he won't use his exact words but he can ask about last night and see what Jinhyuk has to say then take it from there. 

He knows that Jinhyuk has classes until 4 PM that day and that he's usually at home afterwards because of how much they usually text on the daily. Wooseok decides to go directly to his place and not try to do it over text because he wants to be able to read the other's expressions as much as he possibly can if he wants to gain the courage to tell him what he figured out and can't deny any longer.

* * *

He was determined to do it all day. Now that Wooseok is standing in front of Jinhyuk's apartment door, however, he feels like it was a mistake. He can't go back now though. He won't.

What's the worst that could happen? Jinhyuk could tell him what they had last night didn't really mean anything and Wooseok would accept it. They can just move on as they did until yesterday and he'd somehow get over his feelings for the other eventually. 

It's not horrible. Not knowing is worse. He decides to ring the bell.

A little less than a minute passes.

Nothing.

He rings again. 

Then he hears a door open inside. "Just a second," Jinhyuk's voice calls out.

The door opens and there's Jinhyuk shirtless, slightly sweaty and hair messed up. He's pulling his jeans up which he clearly just threw on, the zipper still undone and Wooseok can tell through the bit of underwear poking out at the front that he's pretty hard. "Wooseok, what are you doing here?"

The tiny bit of courage he talked himself into just a couple of minutes ago completely disappears. It's as if someone had just pulled a rug from under his feet. 

He feels like he just got off a roller coaster, unstable, shaky legs touching the ground again. Like he's about to break down but he won't do that. Not here. Not in front of Jinhyuk. He won't give him that.

He gathers all the strength he has left to smile and maybe even give Jinhyuk a cheeky look. Like a friend would if he just caught you having sex. Because that's what they are, friends. Not a fool and the reason for his heartbreak. Just mere friends.

Wooseok might have perfect control over his face but his voice gives him away when he speaks. "I-I'm sorry... I should have... called. You know what? I'll text you."

"You came all the way here," Jinhyuk points out urging him to explain.

"Actually, I was in the area," Wooseok lies. "Thought I'd drop by and- look, it's really not important. You're... occupied. We can talk-"

At that moment, the door of Jinhyuk's room opens in the apartment behind him and a tousled Seungwoo peeks out wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. "Are you coming back anytime soon?"

Wooseok's facial control breaks. He knows he looks shocked now but he hopes it's the only emotion he gives away. 

"I'll be right there," Jinhyuk answers quickly without even looking at the other.

Wooseok's eyes meet Seungwoo's and the older points at him. "Hey, I know you from somewhere."

"I was at your house," is all he can return. 

"Ah, yes, Seungyoun's friend!"

"Seungyoun?" Jinhyuk asks in confusion. "No, he was with me. He's my friend."

"Whatever, it's not friendship Seungyoun wants from him anyway," Seungwoo winks at Wooseok knowingly then turns to Jinhyuk again before disappearing in the room. "Hurry up, I don't have all day."

Wooseok can read something like displeasure in Jinhyuk's face but he just doesn't want to look at it anymore. He doesn't want to try and interpret the other's words and expressions any longer. He is out of reasons to delude himself. At his doorstep, he has reached his limit.

"I gotta go, I should have called," Woosoek manages to curl up his lips. "Sorry."

"You know you're always welcome here," Jinhyuk starts. "I'm just-"

"I know," Wooseok retorts before the other can try and give him any explanation for what he's just seen. What he understands perfectly well without needing any further elaboration. He knows he's welcome here, but he also knows he'll never step a foot in Jinhyuk's apartment again.

The moment he steps out of the building, his breathing becomes uncontrollable. He knows if he was at home he'd probably cry right now but he can't do that here. All he can do is walk. Walk it off before it threatens to overflow.

For a minute, he tries to make sense of what he just walked in on. He tries to make sense of all the signs he might have ignored or misinterpreted along the way but he can't. Ever since he met Jinhyuk, nothing has really made sense. He could never explain Jinhyuk's behaviour in his own terms. 

He walks faster as snippets of memories flash through his head. The way Jinhyuk laughs at his jokes. The way he casually interlocks their fingers in public. The way he kisses his eyelids softly. The way he doesn't kiss his lips. Even the way Seungyoun tells him that Seungwoo is straight crosses his mind. 

All he wants to do is get home, turn on the shower and wash it all away. He wants to try and at least clean his body off of Jinhyuk if he can't erase the memories that seem to serve no other function but to hurt. 

The worst part is that there's no one else to blame but himself. He can't blame Jinhyuk. He wants to but he just can't. Yes, the tall male was flirty and touchy and liked to spend time with him but none of that is a clear indicator for anything more than friendship. It can be but it doesn't have to and it clearly wasn't as Wooseok has to accept now. He can't blame Jinhyuk for the way he let him in, the way he let him carve out a space in his heart where the older has now moved in, rentless. 

"Wooseok!"

He stops in his tracks and turns around to find Seungyoun waving at him. "Hey!"

"Hi," Wooseok thinks he doesn't need another person to remind him of Jinhyuk and Seungwoo but he can't be an asshole and just run away, so he walks over to where Seungyoun is standing at the other side of the street. "How odd to walk into you like this?"

"You mean," Seungyoun smiles before he gives him a short hug as a greeting. "In front of my house?"

Wooseok only now realises that he is indeed standing right where Jinhyuk called him that Uber at the party a couple of weeks ago. "Oh, I didn't recognise the area by day," he says truthfully.

"What brings you to this side of town?" Seungyoun asks then looks at him in a probing manner. "Are you okay?"

He must look more distraught than he thought he did. "Uh, yeah, I just- I just have a lot going through my mind right now."

"Do you want to come in?"

Wooseok looks at the house behind the taller and without breaking his gaze answers. "Don't take this the wrong way but I really don't want to be at your place right now."

The thought of being at his house when Seungwoo gets home makes Wooseok want to throw up a little. Seungyoun looks at him a little confused but luckily, he doesn't seem insulted or anything like that. "Would you like some company, though?"

"Sure," the smaller answers thinking that maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing to get his mind off of Jinhyuk and recent events. 

They go to a Starbucks nearby and chat about random mundane things like uni and the weather. Seungyoun mentions the big storm from a day ago and Wooseok knows his face drops because he's reminded of Jinhyuk in his bed. He knows Seungyoun is attentive and is not at all surprised when he asks. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'd rather not," he has to admit.

"Alright then," the older throws his hands up as if to say he won't pressure him and Wooseok is grateful for that. "So, how's your friend Yohan doing?"

Wooseok smiles genuinely for the first time since they got there. "He's doing really well."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Actually, he met someone at your party and now they're dating," Wooseok shares wide-eyed. 

"Ooooh," Seungyoun smiles in a way that makes his eyes disappear. "I'm glad to hear that even more. Tell me, though, he did have a crush on Seungwoo, didn't he?"

"Yeah," Wooseok admits now that it doesn't really matter to anyone. "About that..."

He knows he shouldn't go there. He doesn't have to confirm anything, things were pretty clear with a half-naked Seungwoo and a bulge in Jinhyuk's pants but he can't help but wonder why Seungyoun lied to him. "You said he's straight?"

"Yes," the other answers shortly. 

"Are you sure about that?"

"I live with him," Seungyoun laughs. "So, yeah, I'm pretty sure."

Wooseok thinks that maybe what he saw was some sort of recent development.

"Of course," the taller starts while swirling the straw in his drink. "With every rule, there is an exception and Seungwoo's is-"

"Jinhyuk," Wooseok cuts him off, absentmindedly looking in the other's direction but not really at him.

"Yes, how did you know?" Seungyoun looks at him with just slightly narrowed eyes.

Wooseok is wary of what he says or at least he wants to be. He doesn't want the other to figure out the turmoil that is currently taking place in his heart. "I kinda walked in on something there, earlier."

He thinks he says it in a pretty straight-forward way and just to make sure Seungyoun doesn't think he asks in his own interest, he adds. "Made me wonder if you'd lied to me for some reason."

"Oh?" Seungyoun forms a perfectly round shape with his mouth. "Why would I lie to you about that? No, they've had a thing about a year and a half ago and with thing I mean they kept things strictly physical. Although, I think Seungwoo might have had feelings for that idiot at the time but Jinhyuk being Jinhyuk, of course, dropped him the moment he found out about it."

All the while telling him that, Wooseok can't shake the feeling that Seungyoun is observing him, intently paying attention to every single reaction of his.

"Actually, now that I'm talking about it, I remember it getting pretty nasty with them. Seungwoo was pretty hurt, so he spread some awful rumours about Jinhyuk around campus. Not one of his finest moments, but can you blame him?" he takes a sip from his iced latte. "Honestly, I'm pretty surprised Jinhyuk would sleep with him again, he must be really bored with his options."

That last sentence stings. That Jinhyuk would rather sleep with someone he doesn't like than consider him an option after Wooseok so obviously offered himself just the night before. 

"Stupid Seungwoo," Seungyoun suddenly says after he'd been silent for a couple of seconds. "I mean, if you fall for someone like Lee Jinhyuk, you really had it coming." He shakes his head.

Wooseok looks down into his cup of black coffee. "Yeah, stupid Seungwoo," he says with a sigh.


	7. #7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, this was so hard to write because it's almost 3000 words of dialogue.
> 
> but I really wanted to do it like this, I hope I didn't mess up too much.
> 
> let me know what you think! <33

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_hey_

_about yesterday..._

_can we meet?_

**You**

_sorry, can't_

_I'm busy today_

_big architecture project_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_tomorrow?_

**You**

_I don't know_

_might take a couple of days_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_can you let me know when you have time?_

_I have to tell you something_

**You**

_sure_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_thank you_

_ <33_

**You**

_:)_

* * *

**Cho Seungyoun**

_hey there_

_how are we doing today?_

_any better?_

_it was nice hanging out with you yesterday_

_we should do it again_

**You**

_hey, yes thank you_

_I'm doing much better_

_thanks for the company_

_absolutely, we should_

**Cho Seungyoun**

_no worries, glad I could be there_

_is that you finally saying yes to a date?_

_o.o_

**You**

_umm..._

_sure, why not?_

**Cho Seungyoun**

_hallelujah_

_how about friday?_

**You**

_that works :)_

**Cho Seungyoun**

_pick you up at 7?_

**You**

_perfect_

**Cho Seungyoun**

_I can't wait_

**You**

_haha_

_see you friday_

_thanks again_

**Cho Seungyoun**

_no need to thank me_

* * *

**Yohan**

_you came home late yesterday???_

_how did it go?_

_did you tell him???_

**You**

_nope_

_it was kinda obvious he's not into me_

**Yohan**

_WHAT??!_

_impossible!!!_

_are you sure?_

_don't you want to tell him just to be safe?_

**You**

_no, really not_

_it's okay, though_

_I have a date with Cho Seungyoun_

**Yohan**

_wHAAT??_

_WHEN?_

_you casanova, I'm coming over_

_you have to tell me everything_

**You**

_there's not much to te-_

_you're already knocking_

* * *

"So, you're really busy these days?" Jinhyuk asks as he sits down next to Wooseok in _Chinese History._

"Yep," Wooseok answers without looking at him. "You said it yourself, hardest subject to study. I'm finally starting to feel that."

"Changhyun tells me you're really talented, though," the other says softly. 

"That's very kind of him," Wooseok gives him a small smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "Doesn't mean that I don't need to put in work."

"Of course," Jinhyuk's puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. "You're really hardworking, you'll do well."

"Please," the other says as he less than gently pushes the hand off his shoulder. "Can you not? It's so hot today..."

Wooseok is well-aware of the perfectly functioning air-con in the classroom. It's a hot day but it's definitely not hot inside and he can tell that Jinhyuk frowns but he can't make himself care. 

"Sorry," the taller eventually says. "By the way, did you check if you have any time to meet this week? We could go to the cafe-", Jinhyuk stops as if he realises something then adds. "Or wherever you'd like to go."

"I'm not sure," Wooseok says shortly pretending he's taking out his notepad to take notes for the first time in this class ever. "I'll let you know, okay?"

"Okay," Jinhyuk's voice is barely above a whisper. He doesn't say anything for the rest of the class as Wooseok takes notes even though he doesn't really understand what Prof. Ma is going on about. He just makes sure to write as much as he hears, incomplete sentences, words he pretends to want to research further, specific dates, names, all of it. It doesn't matter as long as he can stay distracted from the cause of his chest squeezing in on him every now and then right next to him.

He can tell that Jinhyuk looks at him a lot. Maybe he waits for Wooseok to look back at him, maybe he's trying to figure out where his newfound love for _Chinese History_ suddenly came from, maybe he's just realised that something between them has changed, shifted. That they can't go on the way they did before, that Wooseok just had to decide that for the both of them. 

* * *

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_do you have time to hang out friday?_

**You**

_sorry, can't_

_I already have plans_

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_okay..._

* * *

Friday evening comes faster than anticipated. Wooseok is not sure why he suddenly doesn't feel like going out with Seungyoun, it's not like he doesn't like the other. He doesn't know him well, but he felt comfortable enough around him the other day to not have to be this anxious about going on this date tonight.

Either way, he won't cancel on him last minute, so there he is trying out outfits to find something that can pass off as acceptable for a first date. As he rummages through his closet, he stumbles upon the beige sweater that Jinhyuk had worn when he slept at his place. He hasn't had a chance to wash it yet and without thinking, he brings it to his nose and smells. It's almost painful how his chest squeezes at the images his mind produces in an instant. 

Wooseok leaning on Jinhyuk reading the book at his place. Jinhyuk hugging him tightly while he listens to the other's music. The way Jinhyuk kisses his nose, then his eyelids, then his forehead. Everything flashes through his mind just by the smell of the sweater in his hand. He sits down on the floor for a while just leaning into it trying not to cry. Trying to let go and prepare his heart for a new person in his life.

Seungyoun picks him up at the arranged time and brings him to an Italian restaurant not so far away from where the older lives. He swears it has the best tiramisu in town and Wooseok doesn't mind as long as it's food. 

As the evening goes by Wooseok doesn't regret going on the date after all. Seungyoun is funny and interesting. He has great knowledge about Italian wine and the food in the restaurant is just absolutely delicious. They don't have much in common, but they talk comfortably. 

By the time they have dessert, Wooseok has completely winded down and is laughing at some stories Seunyoun tells him about the flatmate he had before Seungwoo who was apparently a little more than just weird.

He is caught mid-laugh when he looks across the restaurant and sees Jinhyuk standing at the counter, apparently ordering something to go. Wooseok's smile falls and is replaced by a sour feeling in his gut region.

When their eyes meet, Jinhyuk shoots him a wide smile and waves at them. "Oh, hi, you here?"

"What are you doing here?" Wooseok doesn't know where the sudden anger comes but his tone is filled with it. 

"I was just passing by and thought I could grab some dessert," the taller explains as he sits down into the booth next to Seungyoun. "They have the best tiramisu in town, don't they, Seungyoun?" He turns to said male with a smile that doesn't look very genuine. "Is it okay if I sit here?"

"No," Wooseok shoots. "Can't you tell that this is a date?"

"Oh? I didn't know, I'll be quick, I just ordered to go. Before you know it, I'll be on my way," Jinhyuk says with a fake smile and Wooseok thinks he's about to burst.

"Please, just go wait somewhere else."

"Perhaps, I should go," Seungyoun states after calmly watching the exchange. "I kinda have a feeling you two have something to resolve and I would've had to leave soon anyway, so..."

He stands up and walks over to Wooseok who also gets up from his seat to hug the other. "Call me when you're home, okay?" he turns to look at Jinhyuk who just observes the exchange with clear displeasure in his visage. "If there are any problems..."

"Don't worry, he's harmless," Wooseok says. "You really don't have to go, I can make him leave."

"It's okay," Seungyoun smiles. "Make sure you resolve whatever it is and I'll make sure we have a better second date. I'll take care of the bill."

"Thank you."

He gives Wooseok a peck on the cheek, then exchanges a look with Jinhyuk that the smaller can't properly place but he doesn't really care to figure out the dynamics between the two boys right now. He's too upset for that. As soon as he sees Seungyoun disappear through the door he turns to Jinhyuk and glares.

"Honestly, what's wrong with you?" Wooseok says, his voice a bit louder than intended as he sits down again. "Why are you here?"

"I told you, I was just passing by and-"

Wooseok breaks him off. "Bullshit. You knew I'd be here, I don't know how but you knew. I just... I just don't get why you would think it would be a good idea to come here and insert yourself into my life when you're clearly not welcome."

By the way Jinhyuk's eyes falter, the younger knows he hurt him but he's too angry to care right now. An awkward silence ensues.

"I didn't know that's how you feel," Jinhyuk finally says, voice low and almost timid.

"Why are you here, Jinhyuk?" Wooseok's anger grows by the minute. "What the fuck do you want?"

"You," the older practically shoots, his eyes piercing Wooseok's.

"What?"

"You," Jinhyuk lifts up both of his open hands to point at the other. "I want you."

Wooseok looks at him perplexed, mouth slightly open, eyebrows still furrowed. 

The fact that his heart skips a beat makes him all the more furious. "Are you kidding me? Are you drunk?"

"I don't drink," Jinhyuk deadpans. 

"Well, you must have had _something_ to think you can just come here, ruin my date, tell me you want me and expect me to be just okay with that."

"I don't expect anything," Jinhyuk's voice gets even smaller. "But I have to try..."

"Try what?"

"Us," the older says sounding somewhat defeated. "If I can, if you let me, I want to be with you. I want us to be together."

"What makes you think I would want to be with you?" Wooseok's heart is begging for his mouth to shut up but it won't. He won't let himself be fooled again. He's had enough and this is where he draws the line.

"Nothing," Jinhyuk replies with a breathy laugh filled with unease. "I know I messed up..."

"Oh, you _do_?"

"Yes," he states firmly. "But I also know you like me and..."

"So what if I like you?" Wooseok thinks he might be going overboard but he can't stop himself now. After all, he knows Jinhyuk's feelings are probably going by the seasons. There is nothing for him to win here. "Why would I want to be with you? Fuck, why would _anyone_ want that? To be all up close and personal one moment, then be pushed away the next, whenever it pleases you. I like you, alright, but I'm not going to do that to myself. Not anymore, I've had my fair share of your bullshit and it's more than enough."

Jinhyuk doesn't say anything for a moment, he just looks at the other with visible defeat in his eyes as he bites his lower lip.

"Just the fact that you thought coming here to mess up a date for me would be the best time to confess-" Wooseok wants to continue but Jinhyuk cuts him off.

"Seungyoun is not good for you," he says as if just stating a fact in history class.

"Oh, and _you_ are?" Wooseok mocks.

"At least I genuinely like you. I really like you. I miss you like crazy, I think about you all the time and I'm begging you to give me a chance to prove to you that I can be who you need me to be."

"I didn't need you to be anyone but yourself but unfortunately, that comes with parts that will hurt me."

"Wooseok, please..." Jinhyuk begs.

"Please what?" The younger can feel something else bubbling up inside him, something he knows will eventually end up as saltwater on his face. "You pull whatever it is you pulled there in my bed and literally, the next day... fuck, not even 12 hours later you're just casually fucking someone else?"

"We didn't have sex," the other states as if it would make any difference. "Right after you left, I told him I couldn't do it."

Wooseok scoffs. "Do you know how embarrassed I was for thinking you might have genuinely been into me or something?"

"But I am..."

"Jinhyuk, I came over to tell you I'm in love with you," he can hear his own voice break. "And you were hard for someone else."

"Fuck, Wooseok," Jinhyuk sounds desperate. "I can get hard for anyone but you... you make me soft inside, you make me think it's okay to feel like that, that I don't have to put up my walls and I love how that feels, I love being soft for you."

A part of Wooseok wants to give in, wants to just believe every word the other says and run with it until his heart breaks again, which he knows it will. But it's not the part that wins, not today. "Even if I believe you, the problem is that you _will_ get hard for anyone and I _will_ get hurt."

The way his face changes, he can see that something inside of Jinhyuk snaps.

"Fuck, do you think I _wanted_ to hurt you? Do you really think I did that on purpose?" He looks at Wooseok with widened eyes. "I hate that I did that to you but to be frank, I didn't even realise it at the time. I didn't know that it affected you that much, how could I? I don't even understand my own feelings, I'm completely blind to others'. I was completely blind to yours."

Jinhyuk puts both of his hands in front of his face rubbing his forehead with the tips of his fingers. When his face appears again he continues. "These things are not easy for me. I've had so many people pretending to feel something they don't feel, I can't tell it apart anymore."

"You can't expect me to feel pity for you," Wooseok throws in. "I've been honest with you from the beginning. I've never had any ulterior motives and you know that, this is all on you."

"I know that... look it's not an excuse and I don't expect you to understand," Jinhyuk groans loudly before he continues. "That night, at your place, I just felt so good with you in my hands. You're so beautiful, I just wanted to kiss you all over but I've suppressed my own feelings for so long that I couldn't even acknowledge them when they were practically slapping me in the face. So, I left you and went somewhere where I could lose less, I guess, just to prove to myself that I'm not in love but just horny or whatever. As if being in love is the worst things that could happen to me, at some point that's really how I felt."

Wooseok scoffs then shakes his head.

"This scares me, Wooseok, but the moment I saw you there at my apartment, I knew it's you that I want. Just you. I don't want anyone else. I don't need anyone else," the older's voice gets needier towards the end.

"The sad thing is, I actually believe you," Wooseok says after a short silence. "But I can't trust you, I just can't."

"What can I do to make you trust me?"

"Nothing," the smaller retorts with a small shake of his head. "How can I trust someone who can't trust himself?" The realisation of the truth of his own statement burns a hole into his stomach. "It's like with that girl at the party, you didn't want her either and yet..."

"I know, but I can change," Jinhyuk's eyes are glassy, almost tearing up. "Wooseok, I'm in love with you and you're in love with me, can't we start from there?"

"Sometimes that's not enough," the smaller says looking down on his own hands folded into each other on the table.

"Wooseok..."

"It's just not enough," Wooseok gets up from the table giving Jinhyuk one last look. "I'm sorry. Truly. For both of us."

He takes a step towards the door then remembers like an afterthought. "About _Chinese History,_ I'll send you an e-mail and Jinyhuk," the other looks up to him as he's still seated. "Please, don't sit next to me on Tuesday."

Wooseok doesn't even know where he found the strength in him not to cry in front of Jinhyuk there but as he walks away, he can feel warm tears streaming down his cheeks before the door of the restaurant even closes behind him. 


	8. #8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, I have no warnings here because I can't tell anymore.
> 
> just wanted to say, y'all can't complain this one is too short
> 
> enjoooooy! <33
> 
> ALSO THANKS FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL FEEDBACK ON CHAPTER 7, I CRIED SEVERAL TIMES

Wooseok doesn't leave his room the next day. He doesn't even leave his bed except for the couple of times that he needs to use the bathroom. He's grateful for the fact that it's the weekend and he doesn't have to worry about missing classes because he doesn't think he has it within him to get up and brush his teeth, let alone take a shower, put on clothes, get out and pretend that the world is still rotating around the sun and everything is just fine.

Technically, everything _is_ just fine. Wooseok thinks he shouldn't be dramatic but he can't help but feel like he's just gotten off a roller coaster ride he had been on for weeks. He is exhausted. His heart is tired but as much as it's beating, it's longing for Jinhyuk. As if it's trying to let go and hold on at the same time knowing that it will inevitably result in it tearing apart. 

Then there's his mind. An endless tirade of what-ifs. 

What if he'd just stopped talking after Jinhyuk told him he wanted him? What if he'd just given it some time, some proper thought, some less loaded response?

What if he gave him a chance to prove himself without caring what would happen to him if the other can't? What if they worked out just fine and he didn't have to go through this?

What if he'd made Seungyoun stay and Jinhyuk go and he never found out about the other's feelings for him? What if he never knew he could have him?

What if he'd just kissed him after Jinhyuk's confession? What if he now knew what that feels like?

It's even more painful to know that technically he could've continued on reading the book of him and Jinhyuk. He had it in his hand and instead of turning to read the next chapter, he decided to rip out the pages and throw it all away. Not having Jinhyuk doesn't hurt less than being hurt by him but Wooseok thinks like this he only has to suffer once and on his own terms.

Today, it hurts, though, and he is grateful that he can be alone. He's grateful that Yohan is away on a romantic weekend with Junho and won't bother him until Monday. He's also grateful that his phone ran out of battery a couple of hours ago, so he doesn't have to stop himself from checking it all couple of minutes to see if Jinhyuk had sent him any more messages he won't reply to.

Wooseok doesn't know how much time passes but when the sun comes up a second time, he knows he will have to get out of bed before it sets again. After all, life is not a game of chess, it continues even after checkmate. He will have to do homework and study and prepare for projects.

His mind automatically goes to the slowly approaching deadline for the _Chinese History_ presentation. Wooseok thinks he's just going to finish his part - technically, they've already decided on everything that needs to be done anyway - and then send it to Jinhyuk per e-mail for the other to read and potentially correct whatever Wooseok might have missed or mixed up. They don't have to meet before the presentation and that's something that gives him a sense of bittersweet comfort for now.

That afternoon, he eventually decides that it's time to charge his phone. He will need it the next day anyway. He plugs it in and turns it on. As the system starts up, messages keep flooding in. A lot of them from Yohan and even without opening them, he can tell that most of them are pictures and some texts with an awful lot of exclamation marks, the younger probably wondering why he didn't reply to him. Wooseok knows he'll have to eventually explain himself but for now, he swipes everything Yohan related off his screen. 

There are messages from his parents, from classmates, from group chats and then, of course, Jinhyuk. Before he can stop himself, his finger clicks on it and their conversation opens.

**Lee Jinhyuk**

_I'm sorry_

_for hurting you, I'm truly sorry_

_I know you said you want some distance now_

_I understand_

_I respect that, I'm not going to come and find you in uni or anything like that_

_but if there's any chance for us_

_ever_

_I hope we can sit down again and talk_

_can you at least let me know if you made it home safe?_

_I'm so sorry_

_I don't know why I am this way_

_I want to work on it_

_for you and for myself_

_even if you never want to see me again_

_I'll wait_

_please, be safe_

Before he even reaches the last message, Wooseok can feel the tears damming up in the creases of his eyes. He doesn't want to cry anymore. Part of him wants to respond, at least to say that he's fine, even if that would be a lie. Another part of him wants to apologise as well. In the end, however, doing nothing is the easiest and he can use some _easy_ right now.

He remembers that he promised to text Seungyoun which he completely forgot, so he decides to do that now. Wooseok can't help but be a little surprised that Seungyoun hasn't texted him first already. Parts of the conversation he had with Jinhyuk cross his mind - _"Seungyoun is not good for you"_ \- but he doesn't know if he can trust him on this. After all, the two of them clearly seem to have some kind of personal agenda that has nothing to do with Wooseok to settle. There's a good chance Jinhyuk was just jealous. Besides, Wooseok is not an idiot, he can tell that Seungyoun and Jinhyuk lead a similar lifestyle which is probably what the latter wanted to warn him about but he's not worried about that. 

He might not want to go on any dates anytime soon but he thinks, there's no reason for him to just not talk to Seungyoun because of something Jinhyuk said. He's been nothing but a gentleman to Wooseok and he should acknowledge that.

**You**

_hey_

_sorry for not texting you the other night_

_but thank you for the lovely dinner_

_it was really fun_

**Cho Seungyoun**

_don't worry about it_

_I'm glad_

_so did you two talk?_

**You**

_yeah..._

_it escalated a bit_

**Cho Seungyoun**

_as long as you could settle it..._

**You**

_if you can call it that_

_we don't really talk anymore_

**Cho Seungyoun**

_oh?_

_that bad?_

_he has a way to mess things up, huh?_

**You**

_umm..._

_I guess it's both of us_

_we're too different_

_it's hard to be friends like this_

**Cho Seungyoun**

_I see_

Wooseok doesn't know what Seungyoun's deal with Jinhyuk is but he thinks he shouldn't be talking to him about the other. He also has a feeling that Seungyoun already knows that it was not just a friendship that broke the other night, Wooseok is aware of the other's way of knowing things. So, he settles for small talk until the conversation runs dry on its own.

He eventually gets up properly, takes a shower and even leaves the house to buy some street food that he eats in his room. Afterwards, he does a little homework and spends his evening going through and replying to the 147 pictures and even more messages that Yohan sent him, almost all of them have him and Junho posing in front of random things. Wooseok thinks he needs to talk to the younger about this, he can't spam him like this every single time he does something cute with his boyfriend. Especially not when he considers that they have dates almost every other day. 

Monday eventually comes and Wooseok knows he has to get his life back on track again. Whatever it takes. He has only one class in the morning that day, so he decides to spend the rest of it at the library working on his part of the presentation for _Chinese History_. It's not like he has suddenly grown ambitious in regards to the subject, but he knows that Jinhyuk cares about getting things done quickly and he won't give him the chance to call him up on not having done his part yet. Apart from that, if he happens to approach him before or after class the next day, Wooseok wants to have something neutral to change the topic to and their presentation seems just perfect for that. 

To be able to do that, however, he needs to get at least a little bit of a grasp around the subject matter. So, he finds himself at one of the most sought-after tables in the library because it's at the far back where you can still talk to your neighbour without being shushed but where it's quiet enough to still get serious work done. Wooseok doesn't even know how he got so lucky to find the table empty when he entered just before lunch. 

Just as he was getting into the topic of Kuomintang and Chiang Kai-Shek, he receives a message from Yohan and makes the mistake to tell him where he is. Not even 10 minutes later, Yohan is seated at the table across from him, telling him all about his _"wonderful weekend"_ with his _"wonderful boyfriend."_

"The best part was definitely the _Murder Mystery_ dinner party we went to with Hoho's parents," he excitedly exclaims and Wooseok thinks that his friend might be a little too loud even for the magical table of the library. 

"Hoho?" 

"It's Junho's cute new nickname," Yohan informs him with a giggle.

"Does Hoho agree with his cute new nickname?" Wooseok seriously wonders.

"Of course," the other retorts. "He loves it!"

"Alright then..."

"Anyway, so everyone was dressed up and then suddenly they discover a dead body and everyone at the party could be the murderer and all of us got roles we had to play and you spend the rest of the night trying to figure out who murdered the victim," Yohan recounts with glee. "Anyway, we loved it so much that we're hosting a _Murder Mystery Party_ of our own next Saturday! You have to come!"

"No chance in hell," Wooseok retorts shortly.

"Ah, come on," the younger begs. "You would actually be perfect for one of the roles we have in mind. You even get to dress up!"

"Ah, what? I get to dress up? Well, then, of course, that changes everything!"

"Really?" Yohan's asks with big, innocent eyes.

"No," the older deadpans. "I'm not interested."

Yohan opens his mouth to say something but before he can, a calm and melodic voice softly calls out Wooseok's name and both of them turn around to see who it belongs to. It's Yein who is now slowly approaching them with a smile. Wooseok can't help but smile as well and apparently, Yohan doesn't feel much different given the huge grin plastered across his face. 

"Hey, Yein," Wooseok gets up from his seat to give the other a hug. "How are you? How's practice going? This is Yohan, by the way."

"Hi, I'm Yein," the other says and stretches out his hand for a handshake which Yohan clumsily accepts. "Nice to me you."

"Nice to meet you too," he replies and tries to get up to shake Yein's hand properly but as he stands up, he accidentally throws over his chair which loudly falls down to the floor. Too loud even for the magical table corner and more or less everyone else in the library turns to them to ask them to keep quiet. 

After a couple of awkward apologies towards the other students and the librarian, Yohan sits down again and doesn't move an inch. 

Yein chuckles at the whole ordeal while Wooseok just prays for the earth to swallow him whole right then and there.

"Anyway, practice is going well," Yein eventually answers. "Thanks for asking. Are you still coming to the festival? I mean, I know what happened between you and... you know, but I'm really scared nobody will show up, so if you have the time to pass by and watch the performance, I'd really appreciate it."

"Of course," Wooseok answers with a small but genuine smile. "I would've gone to the festival with my friends anyway, it's a tradition. Your performance will just be a big plus, we'll be there!" He concludes with a small nod towards Yohan who nods without really knowing what's going on. 

"Awesome," Yein beams which brings an inexplicable peace to the older's heart. "Anyway, I should leave you to your studies," he adds and Wooseok can tell that he is struggling with the next thing he says. "And Wooseok, I know it's not my place to say anything but if you have it within you, please talk to him... if you can."

He can tell that Yein looks worried in the way his eyes instantly sparkle less, so he just nods, even though he knows he's far from ready to talk to Jinhyuk again. 

As soon as Yein leaves, Yohan turns to Wooseok. "Okay, first of all, who is this angel? And what does he know that I don't know?"

Wooseok sighs. "He's one of Jinhyuk's friends, maybe his closest friend, I'm not sure." It's hard to say his name out loud, it's even harder to tell Yohan what happened.

"Jinhyuk?" The younger looks intrigued but also confused. "Did something happen between the two of you?"

"One could say so," Wooseok weighs how much he has to tell the other to stop him from asking questions without having to tear his own heart open in public. "Look, I don't really want to go into detail about what happened right now but Jinhyuk and I are not exactly on talking terms anymore. You're still more than welcome to hang out with him if you want, he didn't do anything bad, so don't worry about it."

It's one of the rare instances where Yohan's facial expression doesn't look exaggerated or out of place. He looks genuinely concerned and somewhat saddened by the news. "Did you tell him about your feelings for him?"

"Yes."

"Did he reject you?" A frown grows on the younger's forehead.

"No." And that's apparently all that Wooseok has to say to stop the inquisition. He's grateful that underneath all that idiocy, Yohan is mature enough to know that it's really not the time and place to go into details about the matter at hand. After all, confessing and not being rejected but still ending up on radio silence with the person you're in love with doesn't exactly sound like a light library afternoon topic. 

Yohan reaches across the table for his hand and squeezes, a reassurance for Wooseok that lets him know that he has someone to talk to whenever he's ready.

* * *

The next day Wooseok gets ready for uni with a heavy heart. _Chinese History_ is his first class for the day and he doesn't really know how he's going to sit in a room with Jinhyuk for 90 minutes straight without having his heart shredded.

As he walks towards the building where the class is usually held, he sees him. He sees Jinhyuk open the door and walk in and that's enough to stop him in his tracks. 

He hadn't seen him since that Friday at the restaurant. The campus is big enough to not walk into people you know all the time unless they have the same major as you. Apart from _Chinese History_ , they didn't have anything in common, so it made sense that they wouldn't just accidentally run into each other unless the universe decides that Wooseok needs to suffer a little more than he already does. 

But he just saw him now going where Wooseok is supposed to go as well and he thinks he dealt with it well. He thinks he'd gathered his thoughts and feelings to a point where he could face him without breaking apart, at least in class. But his heart starts to race and his breathing quickens to a point where he thinks he might have a panic attack. Without thinking he turns around and runs back to his dorm.

His chest gets heavier with every inch he gets between himself and the building he was supposed to enter. The moment he closes the door of his room behind himself, he collapses on the floor and sits there until his breathing eases down as well.

Wooseok doesn't go to _Chinese History_ that day and he takes the freedom to skip the architecture class afterwards as well. He's allowed to skip class twice a semester, so he's not worried about any consequences. Instead, he decides to finish his part of the presentation and send it out to Jinhyuk as fast as possible. Maybe it's an attempt to make sure the other doesn't think he didn't come to class because of him. Maybe he just wants to bring as much distance between the two of them as possible. Wooseok doesn't know why but the sudden feeling of urgency lets him finish all the work before midnight that day and he decides to send an e-mail to Jinhyuk immediately. 

* * *

**Chinese History Presentation**

From: Kim Wooseok ( _kim.wooseok96@gmail.com_ )

To: Lee Jinhyuk ( _lee.jin.3754@naver.com_ )

Hi,

Please find attached my part for our upcoming presentation. I think I'm pretty much done, if I want to change anything, I will let you know.

If you find anything that isn't correct or that you disagree with, feel free to correct it but send it back to me so I'm up to date. Is that okay so far?

Let me know if you want to change anything.

Best, 

Wooseok

(Attachement_1)

* * *

**RE: Chinese History Presentation**

From: Lee Jinhyuk ( _lee.jin.3754@naver.com_ )

To: Kim Wooseok ( _kim.wooseok96@gmail.com_ )

Hey,

Thank you! Wow, that was fast... I'll look into it and I'll let you know asap.

I assume you weren't in class today because you're not feeling well?

But if it's something else, I can stop coming to class if that's easier for you... you need the points for this, I don't really care, so yeah... just thought I'd offer.

I know you'd never accept it, but I can't do much more than offer it. Anyway, I won't come next week, so I hope you can attend.

* * *

**RE: RE: Chinese History Presentation**

From: Kim Wooseok ( _kim.wooseok96@gmail.com_ )

To: Lee Jinhyuk ( _lee.jin.3754@naver.com_ )

You don't need to hurry because of me, you know I don't really care to have things finished this early. So, take your time...

It's okay, no need to miss class because of this. We're grown-ups and we'll get over it eventually.

I just have a cold, I feel much better already.

Thanks for looking into the presentation, appreciated!

* * *

**RE: RE: RE: Chinese History Presentation**

From: Lee Jinhyuk ( _lee.jin.3754@naver.com_ )

To: Kim Wooseok ( _kim.wooseok96@gmail.com_ )

Right, thanks...

I'm glad you feel better then.

Don't worry about it, it's my grade as well.

Take care of yourself and if you need anything, I know, I'm the last person you'd consider calling, but I just want you to know that you can.

* * *

The next week passes in a blur for Wooseok. He doesn't really register or care what happens around him. Yohan and Junho are still happily dating and now planning their _Murder Mystery_ party which Wooseok somehow, in the lethargy of his heart, ended up agreeing to going. They showed him his costume, a 1940s type of attire, a beret and a moustache. They ordered him to wear his usual glasses. Yohan is half thrilled and half worried that the older doesn't even complain about any of it. He can tell that Wooseok is not his usual self but he doesn't try to pressure him into talking, something the other is endlessly grateful for.

He doesn't see Jinhyuk even once around campus and as already announced in the e-mail he sent to him, he doesn't come to _Chinese History_ that Tuesday. Wooseok can't help but feel guilty and disappointed even when he really doesn't want to confront the other.

Before he knows it, it's Saturday, about two weeks after his date with Seungyoun whom he also hasn't talked to since the text message exchange on the Sunday after the date. 

They are already at Junho's parents' house, which could be described as gigantic but even that is an understatement. They are very clearly well off and Wooseok is a little concerned that they let their child throw a college party in there but he's not one to judge.

Yohan spends more than an hour on Wooseok's costume making sure it looks perfect. Once he's done, the older thinks the moustache looks pretty authentic as if it was his own facial hair. He still doesn't know why it took so long, but everything with Yohan is a bit of a struggle and he has come to accept that by now.

Apparently, being a rich kid makes everyone want to come to your party and thus, in true university type of manner, literally everyone who is anyone does come and by 10 pm the large house seems much smaller because every corner is filled with people chatting, laughing, drinking, being loud. 

Wooseok knows that there's a high chance that Jinhyuk would come to the party as well but so far he hasn't seen him and he's once again thankful for the sheer enormity of the size of the property.

Yohan spends a good amount of time helping everyone who wants to participate in the _Murder Mystery_ to dress up and get their roles assigned. Wooseok thinks he's never seen the younger this passionate about anything, so he decides to do his best in his role and play the game properly just to make sure his friend's hard work pays off.

The mood takes a turn, however, when Seungyoun figures out the plot within the first 10 minutes of the game starting and shouts it out loud just to have Yohan's very expressive visage confirm it. 

Wooseok has to console him for more than half an hour after that until Junho comes and takes him out to go sit by the pond - yes, apparently they have a pond. The older stays seated on the couch wondering how much longer he would have to stay there for Yohan not to get even more disappointed that his best friend thinks his party is lame when suddenly, he feels the couch dip and he looks to his side.

"Hey there, pretty boy," Seungwoo sits down next to him and holds a can of beer in front of his face. "Take it, it's not poisoned, I promise. It hasn't even been opened yet."

"Thanks," Wooseok accepts the beverage thinking he can use a drink after the whole ordeal with his costume and Yohan's whining after his big _Murder Mystery_ went to the gutter.

"So, that mystery thing flopped big time, huh?" The older opens and shakes his head with a pitiful smile. "You don't invite Seungyoun to something like this if you don't want the crime to be solved in less than 5 minutes, the guy solves riddles for breakfast."

"I guess, they didn't know that," Wooseok answers.

"Did _you_?" Seungwoo looks at him with a smirk. "I'm sorry, I can be a handful sometimes."

"I don't want to be rude but why are you talking to me right now?"

"That's direct," the older says with widened eyes. "Okay, I'm not really good at this but I guess I wanted to apologise."

"I don't really know you," Wooseok retorts. "You don't owe me an apology."

"Oh, but I do," Seungwoo says accompanied by a couple of small nods. "You see with this whole thing... and we don't have to call him by his name, but I was so jealous and I guess I caused you a lot of pain in the process."

"Why would you care about me?"

"Honestly? I don't but I'm just coming to terms with reality and accepting things as they are and part of it is offering you a sincere apology because I behaved like a child and I'm honestly a little embarrassed by it all."

"I don't really understand where you're coming from but if it helps, you are forgiven."

Wooseok thinks that should be it for their conversation as a somewhat longer silence between them ensues but he's wrong. 

"For almost two years I've been trying to make him look at me like that," Seungwoo lets out a breathy, pained laugh. "You know, in the beginning, I just thought maybe I'm just gay and I never realised it, so I tried it with others but hell, I hated it. I didn't enjoy myself at all. It was just _him_ , I wanted him so badly but he only let me in his bed, he never let me any further."

Wooseok doesn't really understand why the older is telling him all of that. It seems like it's been building up inside of him and he's just letting it out now that he's apparently coming to terms with reality as he said himself, but Wooseok doesn't really know whom to trust here - Jinhyuk's words come to his mind at that thought. "I'm sorry he made you feel that way," he eventually says more out of courtesy and less because he actually feels that way.

"Oh, he didn't do anything," Seungwoo snorts. "The moment I told him about my feelings, he let me know that he's sorry but that he doesn't feel that way about me and he took his distance. I was so angry back then, like, I did some stupid shit really. But I couldn't blame him, it's not like leading me on would've been better, right?"

Wooseok has to agree with that, so he nods, as the other continues. "Then months later, I really thought I'm over it. I realised he just doesn't do feelings or whatever, so I don't even know how it happened that we slept together again. I really thought I'd moved on, it was just physical, it happened maybe another once or twice until I saw him with you."

Wooseok takes a sip from his beer, uncomfortable that the conversation has suddenly turned to include him. "I don't think he even knew back then but the way he looked at you, it hit me right away that that's what I wanted. That's what I was trying to get out of him this whole time. When I thought I didn't love him anymore, I still longed for him to look at me like that just once. I thought if I just stayed close long enough, he'll realise that he might want to settle one day and I'd be there. I never thought someone else would show up. Gosh, the first time I saw you with him, I hated you so much."

Perhaps, this statement would anger him under other circumstances but he doesn't find it within him to get mad at Seungwoo right now. 

"And the worst part is that you didn't even seem to care. I saw you talk to Seungyoun and of course, he knew, that bastard always knows everything somehow, that psychology degree really pays off, huh? But he didn't tell me, of course," he takes a sip from his own beer. "Then he tells me he wants to ask you out, it should've dawned on me there but all I cared about was Jinhyuk as always."

Wooseok thinks he doesn't follow anymore but he doesn't want to follow Seungwoo's emotional outburst. Despite their differences, he feels he might get hurt even more understanding the older so instead, he tries to redirect the conversation. "What's the deal with the two of them anyway?"

Seungwoo looks at him for a second then lifts his eyebrows a little. "Honestly, I have no idea. They were already like that when I met them. I never cared to ask."

"By the way, I'm sorry for telling him about your date with Seungyoun," Seungwoo throws in then proceeds to take another sip from his beer. "That was really the high point of my jealousy afterwards I realised I'm just pathetic."

"It was you who told him?" Wooseok shouldn't be as surprised as he is but his mind immediately goes to Jinhyuk being with Seungwoo before coming to the restaurant to confess to him and a sour feeling grows within his gut region.

"Yes," Seungwoo looks apologetic. "You know that day when you came to his place when I was there too?"

Of course, he knows. He thinks he might throw up remembering that incident but he doesn't stop Seungwoo from continuing.

"He went to open the door and I heard him say your name and I got so jealous. I had no right to do it but I wanted you to know that I was there, that I was with him and I wanted him to know that you might be interested in Seungyoun, so I stepped out and said what I said hoping it would turn him away from you," Seungwoo looks at him with what Wooseok would describe as a consoling smile. "I saw it in your eyes that day, you were in love with him and that made me even more jealous. I didn't care about you though, I just wanted him back on me but all I did was make it worse for both of you and for myself too," just like an afterthought he adds. "Ah, I'm such an asshole!"

"Anyway, I want you to know that nothing happened that day," Seungwoo is squeezing his half-empty can as he turns it in his hands. "He came back after you left and told me he couldn't do it anymore. That he made a huge mistake," he lets out a heavy laugh again. "After all these years, I'm just a huge mistake."

"I don't think that's what he meant," Wooseok doesn't really know why he finds the need to comfort Seungwoo right now after the guy just told him how much of a role he played in deliberately hurting him. 

"I know but I can't help but feel that way," he looks at Wooseok with his lips pressed together. "But I'm out now, for real. I can see what I did and what it did to me and I hate all of it, I'll get over it eventually, pretty sure he's never coming back to me again in no way, shape or form. I genuinely hope you two get happy together."

Wooseok flinches a little at the other's last sentence. "I don't think we'll get together at all, to be honest."

Seungwoo turns to look at him visibly surprised. "Oh?"

"It should be easier than this, shouldn't it?" Wooseok sighs then gives him a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

The older puts a hand on his shoulder and pets lightly. "You're smart. You're strong and smart and you have a good heart, at least I see why he fell for you."

Suddenly, a girl comes seemingly out of nowhere and drops her entire body on top of Seungwoo's lap throwing her arms around the other's neck and connects their mouths before the guy can even protest, not that he seems like he wants to the way he grabs onto her hips right away.

Wooseok thinks this is his cue to get up and go hide somewhere until it's a reasonable time for him to go home. 

Luckily, Junho lives in a villa, so he doesn't have a hard time finding an empty bedroom upstairs. There's a small en suite bathroom, a large bed, a desk with a lamp, a notepad and two pens on it and a small shelf with about 10-15 books on them. As per usual, Wooseok is drawn to the books. He thinks it's not the worst way to spend a couple of hours before he can leave the party without hurting Yohan's feelings that he left too early on top of the whole ordeal with Seungyoun solving the mystery in no time at all. It's also a perfect distraction for his mind that is about to go wild thinking about everything that Seungwoo revealed to him just a couple of minutes ago.

He grabs a book he's read before, one that weirdly reminds him of the event he's caught up in tonight. _The Picture of Dorian Gray_ by Oscar Wilde. As usual, he doesn't open the book at the beginning but somewhere in the middle. Wooseok thinks that Oscar Wilde is one of the most quotable authors of all times, so he just wants to read through some lines he hasn't read in a long time for amusement and for comfort in his current situation. 

_"To be good is to be in harmony with oneself. Discord is to be forced to be in harmony with others."_

Wooseok's mind gets stuck on this quote. It gives him food for thought but he's not sure why it's speaking to him as much as it does. Just as he wants to try to wrap his mind around it, the door opens and someone stumbles into the room. He lifts his head, ready to shout that it's occupied but he pauses with his mouth open because he recognises the tall, lanky body that drops sideways onto the bed. Feet on the floor, Jinhyuk is now lying on his back staring at the ceiling, visibly drunk. 

He blinks a couple of times then turns his head to where Wooseok is seated. "I'm sorry," he speaks in a slurred manner but still perfectly understandable. "I didn't want- didn't want to intrude, I'll be gone. Just need to lie down. 5 minutes."

Jinhyuk turns around again and closes his eyes. His arms are stretched on his sides and Wooseok can tell that his breath is somewhat uneven. The little bit of light that comes from the lamp on the table next to the younger reveals a shiny forehead, tiny drops of sweat underneath black hair and a slight blush across Jinhyuk's cheeks and nose. 

Maybe it's just because he hasn't seen him in a while but Wooseok wonders if it's weird at all that he finds him all the more beautiful like this. A part of him wants to get up, walk over to him and dry his face, maybe hold his head so the other has an easier time coming down from his intoxication. He remains seated, however, remembering that Jinhyuk said he doesn't drink. Before he can stop himself, he hears himself ask. "Why did you drink?"

The older doesn't react right away. After a couple of seconds, he turns his head to face Wooseok and looks at him as if he can't see him clearly. Then he smiles, swallows. "Because I'm perfectly lonely in a crowd," Jinhyuk lets out a breathy laugh. "They told me I could find the cure at the bottom of a bottle."

The answer pulls at Wooseok's heartstrings. "And?"

"Hm?" The other doesn't seem to follow. 

"What did you find?"

"Him," Jinhyuk swallows around a smile. "Always him."

The strings of Wooseok's heart are stretched so thin he thinks they might just snap any second.

"Fuck, I love him," the older says with a groan that is somewhat mixed with a laugh.

The third person in which he talks makes Wooseok hesitate but he doesn't stop himself, even if all he can let out is barely above a whisper. "Who?"

"Wooseok," Jinhyuk shoots then giggles all of a sudden. "Comma Kim."

Together with a drop in his gut region, the realisation hits him that Jinhyuk doesn't recognise him. Perhaps it's the moustache or the fact that the only light in the room is shining right behind Wooseok, so he might appear like a silhouette to the other. 

Before he can stop himself he gets up from his chair and walks towards the bed to sit on it next to Jinhyuk but from the other side, so that they are facing each other, Wooseok hovering above him, while the other is still sprawled on his back. 

"It's me, Jinhyuk," he says and removes the fake facial hair with a swift move that leaves his upper lip stinging. 

"Of course, it's you," the taller chuckles then moves one of his hands to pinch his other arm. "Nothing... I knew I was dreaming."

Just as Wooseok wants to tell him that he's not dreaming, Jinhyuk puts up a finger right in front of his face but without touching him. "You're so beautiful," he hiccups. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?"

"For everything... for me... for ruining your date..." Jinhyuk's puts his arm down again and just slightly shakes his head before realising that it doesn't do anything good to his current state.

"You said he wasn't good for me anyway, right?" Wooseok offers as a sort of consolation to the other but he doesn't expect Jinhyuk to actually pick up the topic.

"Right," he states firmly. "Seungyoun doesn't really want you-" He finishes with another hiccup.

"What does he want from me then?"

"Now? Probably nothing-" Hiccup. "Before that, I guess, he wanted revenge..."

"On me?" Even though Jinhyuk is the one who is drunk, Wooseok thinks he's more confused than the other.

"No, silly," the taller laughs. "On me, of course."

"It makes no sense, Jinhyuk. He already asked me out on a date at that party at his house weeks ago."

"He's a bit creepy like that."

"What does that mean?"

"He just kno-" Hiccup. "Knows stuff, I guess he could tell you're special to me bef-" Hiccup. "Before I even realised I was falling in love," Wooseok thinks he's never going to get used to hearing Jinhyuk say out loud that he's in love with him but it doesn't really matter. He knows he won't have to get used to it. It will eventually pass and they will part and this turmoil in his heart will fade to dust. He tries to ignore the conflict inside him as Jinhyuk continues to speak in his slurred voice. "He tried it with one or two people before-" Hiccup. "But I didn't care about them, so he never really got what he wanted."

"What does he want revenge for?"

"Oh," Jinhyuk presses his lips together. "I slept with his ex..." 

"Okay, but-"

"While they were still tog-" Hiccup. "Together."

"You suck," it escapes Wooseok's mouth before he can stop it but he doesn't regret the insult.

"I know," Jinhyuk opens his eyes to look at him again. "But in my defence, I had no idea. She didn't say anything about a boyfriend and then the next day, I find out because she uploads a picture with him with a caption around the lines of _best tiramisu in town with bae_ or something like that. It was the restaurant he took you, just to rub it in my face. That you'd go out with him, too. That he could do to me what I did to him. He didn't have to, though, I managed to mess it up myself pretty well, so I assume he didn't ask you out on a second date?" His hiccup seems to have stopped.

Wooseok doesn't have to answer, neither does he want to. He has an urge to go downstairs, find Seungyoun and slap him. He hates the feeling that he's been toyed with this whole time. He hates the fact that he's even met Jinhyuk, let alone all the experiences that meeting brought with it.

"Why did she even sleep with you then when she had a boyfriend and didn't plan on breaking up with him?" he doesn't really know why he still engages in the conversation but he feels like he doesn't grasp the entire story just yet.

"I don't have an answer to that," Jinhyuk lightly shakes his head then frowns. "Why does anyone want to sleep with me? I'm really not that great in bed, I mean, I'm okay- doesn't matter, before it could spread like wildfire, I told him. We were somewhat friends back then, I felt so bad, I told him right away but I guess, he understood it differently and ever since, well, our friendship's been tainted, I guess. It's all my fault, as always."

"Technically, you've just been used once again and you have to bear with the consequences of that," Wooseok doesn't know why he defends him but at least, in this case, it's clear that Jinhyuk didn't try to hurt someone on purpose.

"I'm so sorry for you," he says with glassy eyes. "I'm sorry I fell in love with you and got you into this mess."

Wooseok doesn't know how many times a heart can break before it's had enough but he's sure he must be after some wold record by now.

"I'm so scared of love," Jinhyuk's voice is becoming a whimper. "It's the scariest thing."

"Why?" Wooseok whispers fighting the urge to stroke the other's face.

"Look what it did to me," a single tear leaves the corner of his left eye and as beautiful as he looks with it, Wooseok's chest squeezes at the pain of seeing him cry. "Look what it did to you."

"No, I'm fine," the smaller whispers unable to raise his voice out of fear it might betray him. "I'm doing fine, don't worry."

"You are?" Jinhyuk smiles again while more tears stream down his face. "I'm glad."

They look at each other for a while as Jinhyuk comes down from his crying fit. Wooseok is fighting the whirlwind of conflict inside of his stomach. Trying to hold back from lying down next to the other and circling his arms around him like his heart is loudly asking him to do. It feels almost impossible to tear his eyes away from him but he manages and looks to the floor for a moment just to notice that the other lifts his hand again.

In the eye of the storm inside him, Wooseok instinctively moves out of the way as Jinhyuk tries to touch his face. 

The older's hand drops to the bed, fingers clutching around air.

A sigh. He closes his eyes and seems to fall asleep.

Wooseok leaves. 


	9. #9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this time I have nothing to say for myself.  
> I'm embarrassed.  
> I'm sad.  
> I'm sorry.

As he closes the door to the room where Jinhyuk is sprawled, intoxicated, sleeping, Wooseok knows he's at the verge of a breakdown. He doesn't care how late or early it is, he has to get out of this house, away from the party, away from all of it. He has never wished he could just teleport as much as he does now. To just snap his fingers and be in his room, in the comfort of his bed where he could safely collapse and try to forget about everything he heard in the past two hours. 

It was hard enough trying to move on before but now that he's seen Jinhyuk like that, now that he's heard those words out of his mouth even if drunk, even if without realising that Wooseok was even really there, it feels like he's ripping himself in two by walking away from him. But he had made his decision. He knows they don't stand a chance. Walking away now will save him from having to walk away later when it all becomes infinitely more painful. 

So, he walks. He walks downstairs. He walks past dozens of laughing, chatting, happy people. He walks past the couch where Seungwoo is still sitting now surrounded by a group of _friends_ , the girl from earlier already gone. He walks into someone and stops, it's Seungyoun and he's holding him, stopping him from walking further. "Hey, hey, what are you running from?"

The pain inside of him grows like a cancer and he glares at the other male. "Leave me alone."

He tries to shake Seungyoun's hands off of his arms but his grip is too strong. "Wait, Wooseok, what's wrong?"

"Don't touch me!" Wooseok hears himself scream, not just raise his voice, but scream. "Get off me!"

Seungyoun lets go as if he just burned himself on a hot stove and looks at the smaller with widened eyes. Wooseok can tell he's saying something but he really doesn't care, he walks past him and out towards the pond. He'd love nothing more than to just go straight home but he can't just yet. He can't leave him like that. 

He finds Yohan and Junho sitting on a bench talking. "Yohan, I'm sorry for-"

The younger instantly gets up and walks towards him. "Wooseok-hyung, are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm fine," he lies the second time within half an hour. "I just... I'm going home and I'm sorry-"

"No, don't be sorry," Wooseok can tell that Yohan is worried, perhaps even slightly frightened. It makes him wonder what he looks like right now to get such a strong reaction out of his friend. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, no, stay, please. I'll be fine but Jinhyuk," he stops as he remembers the source of his agony lying up there on the bed in the state he's in. "He's upstairs, in a bedroom and... he's really drunk. Can you make sure he's... taken care of? That he gets home safe? I- I didn't see Gyujin but-"

"I'll take care of it," Junho steps in from behind Yohan. "Don't worry about him. If he's in one of the guest rooms, he can just as well sleep there and we'll make sure he has everything he needs."

"Thank you," he tries to bury his unease behind a smile that he gives Junho. "I'll be on my way. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Don't worry about me."

"If you need to talk-" Yohan starts.

"I know, I really know and I might want to but not now," Wooseok gives his friend a genuine smile. "Thank you. I'll talk to you tomorrow, please, enjoy the rest of your night."

He then leaves. For good.

Wooseok doesn't even know how he gets home. Walk, subway, walk, key card, lift, room door code. He doesn't know how he has the strength to take off all the make-up Yohan put on him earlier that day. He doesn't know how he changes into his pyjamas, turns off all the lights and makes it to his bed. He just knows he misses _him_.

He misses him. He misses his dark brown eyes, the way they used to shine happily. He misses that wide smile, those cute teeth, that addictive laugh when he throws his head back. He misses the way his cheeks fill up when he eats. The way he chews and still tries to talk. He misses the way he used to touch him occasionally, innocently. Wooseok's knee, his shoulder, his back, his face, _his face_.

He misses his jokes, even though they weren't always funny. Wooseok thought they were funny because he laughed himself. He laughed when telling them so Wooseok laughed as well. He misses his weird obsession with animated characters, how he talked about them as if they were his friends. He misses that childlike wonder that was in such contrast to the way he lived. He misses how much he cared about his music and how his face would light up when talking about it. He misses that weird nickname he had for him.

He misses how he smells. Sweet and fresh. But what he misses the most is knowing exactly when he'd see him again. Looking forward to it. Never being disappointed at the sight of him approaching. The way he looked at him as if there was nobody more important than Wooseok at that moment. He wants to believe that that's how he really felt. And it hurts.

* * *

He is woken up by a loud knock on his door. Wooseok is confused only for a second because he knows it can only be Yohan and he thinks he should open the door despite every bone in his body asking him to stay in bed.

He gets up a little shaky, the sleep still pulling on him. "Just a second," he says in a raspy voice.

"Hyung," Yohan's big eyes innocently greet him when he opens the door, he still looks worried. "How are you?"

"I'm not sure," Wooseok retorts, eyes half-lidded. "I'm not sure I'm awake yet, give me 10 minutes."

"I made breakfast," the younger says excited and now it's Wooseok's turn to worry.

"You made it... yourself?"

"Okay no, I bought it but I arranged it nicely on plates in the kitchenette. Wanna come join me?"

The older smiles. "Give me 5 minutes to wash up and I'll be there."

"Okay."

When Wooseok arrives at the kitchenette, he finds Yohan already sitting there nibbling on an omelette. The younger has brought rice, vegetable omelettes, different banchan and seasoned tofu because he knows that Wooseok doesn't like to eat meat in the morning. He thinks it's very thoughtful of his friend but he also knows that now, he'll have to inevitably tell him all about what happened about two weeks ago.

They eat in silence for a bit until Wooseok can tell that Yohan's curiosity grows and it becomes uncomfortable not to say anything. "So, did he...?"

"He slept in the room we found him in," his friend answers knowing exactly whom he's asking about. "Hoho gave him a pair of his dad's pyjamas and we put him to bed properly, I don't know what happened then. He's probably still there but he's alright, I'm sure."

"Good, good," Wooseok nods while breaking apart a piece of tofu with his chopsticks.

"So, what happened there yesterday?" The older is a little taken aback by the direct question.

"Nothing, really-" he starts but Yohan interrupts him.

"Hyung, please, you've not been yourself the past couple of weeks and then yesterday you come to me looking like... _death_ , telling me there's Jinhyuk passed out in my boyfriend's house and now you want me to just drop it and not ask what the hell happened between the two of you?" 

"You're right," the older lets out a deep sigh. "You deserve to know."

So, Wooseok tells him everything. He starts from his date with Seungyoun and how Jinhyuk appeared there but then goes back to finding Seungwoo in his apartment and even further to their several outings together. He tells Yohan what they used to talk about, how he made him feel, how they grew as close as they did. He tells him about the _Chinese History_ presentation and that it's coming up next week and that they will inevitably have to talk to each other again. And, of course, he tells him about the incident at Junho's house, about what Jinhyuk told him, about how he cried, about how he hurt. 

It all comes out of him like a waterfall. Literally, because all the while recounting all the events he can't stop tearing up all couple of minutes. 

"Oh my," Yohan says when it finally looks like the story is coming to an end. "What a mess..."

"Yup," Wooseok has to agree. " _Mess_ sums it up well."

"So, what do you want to do now?"

"Nothing," the older slowly shakes his head. "It hurts more but it doesn't change anything."

"I don't know, hyung, but it seems to me that he's really in love with you," Yohan says with pity in his voice.

Wooseok shrugs in defeat. "What difference does that make?"

"It seems like he's never been in love before," the other declares. "Call me a hopeless romantic, but I want to believe that _that_ makes a difference. I think he means well with you."

"I know he means well," the older retorts. "But habits are stronger than intentions, I can't just take him up on what he wants to do. He'll end up going back to his old ways."

"His old ways? You mean of people using him and never giving him a real chance?" Yohan shakes his head. "From what I gather with all you've told me and how I usually see those people behave, I can imagine that nobody ever gave him the opportunity to be anything else but, well, the fuckboy that he became."

Wooseok doesn't say anything but he looks at the younger with intent as he continues. "I mean, just imagine you just started uni and you're super popular and you're looking forward to a date with this cute boy or girl or whatever and you get all excited about it and enjoy yourself and the next day, they don't want to see you again because they never wanted you, all they really wanted is to be seen _with_ you. Like, imagine this happening again and again and again... it must really make you question a lot of things."

"I know," Wooseok nods. "Look, I know how it got to it, I understand. I'm not blaming him for anything but can you blame me for not being able to shake the doubt I have in him?"

"No, I can't," Yohan pouts in disappointment. "Whatever you choose to do, you know I'm on your side. I just wish you two could be happy together... I really think it can work."

"You just say that because you love him and you desperately want to keep him in your life," Wooseok chuckles.

"No, _you_ love him," Yohan says curling his lips up on one side. "You just lack the courage."

"What do you mean by that?"

The younger sighs. "You're an architect with all you have. You're calculated. You like to measure things and make sure everything fits perfectly. Every wall, every window, every door, every little bit that goes into a building. You're like that with everything, though," Yohan looks at him while raising his eyebrows a little. "But love? You can't measure that, you can't build a perfect little house for you and Jinhyuk where you guys would just live safely. Love is messy and wild and that's the best thing about it. You can't calculate how much you'll get hurt. If you get together, you'll probably hurt each other a lot. Like every other couple. Small things, mostly, somehow they always end up in the biggest fights but it's worth it. You have to take it as it is every day. You can't plan it out beforehand. But you, you're just holding onto the only thing you can calculate with certainty right now and that's this... the pain you're feeling by not being with him. I know you well enough to know that even though it hurts it's comforting to know that you chose it yourself. Yes, if you give him a chance, it can all go horribly wrong and it will hurt. That's a probability, but you're so scared of not knowing what's coming your way that you'd rather take the only outcome that gives you a 100% chance on something, even if that thing is just plain pain."

Wooseok can't say anything. There is truth in what Yohan says, he knows that much for sure but he doesn't know if understanding that truth will change anything for him. He needs to give it some proper thought before he can argue against it. 

They drop the topic soon after that. Wooseok feels much lighter now that he could tell someone everything that happened, now that he could lift some of the weight off of his shoulders. Now that he had another perspective.

* * *

The following Tuesday morning, Wooseok wakes up way ahead of time. He feels anxious and nervous because today is the day of their presentation. To think that a couple of weeks ago, the only thing he feared about this day was the _Chinese History_ presentation itself, makes it seem like such a long time ago.

He feels ready and prepared for it. Jinhyuk had corrected a couple of things in his part and sent it to him via e-mail. That's how they communicated over the past two and a half weeks if at all. They remained formal, only talking about the topic at hand, so he really doesn't know what to expect today.

He knows he will inevitably have to talk to Jinhyuk beyond the presentation. The least bit of small talk just to stay civil, to keep the atmosphere stable and his own heart at ease so that he doesn't get more nervous than necessary. It's still unnerving to know the last time they talked was at the party where Jinhyuk quite prominently broke apart in front of him. Wooseok wonders if the other remembers anything. Would he bring it up if he did?

When he enters the classroom, Jinhyuk is already there in the front of the class attaching his laptop to the overhead projector. He's frowning and pressing buttons, seemingly struggling to make it work. He doesn't even realise that Wooseok is there until he's standing right next to him.

"Hey," the younger says with a thin voice giving him a genuine smile. "Everything okay?"

Jinhyuk looks up from the laptop dumbfounded. He stares at Wooseok for a bit with his mouth half open and his eyes slightly widened. The smaller can only blink and look from side to side, signalling that he's starting to feel uncomfortable when Jinhyuk finally snaps out of it. "Uh, sorry, hi... uuuuh, it's okay, the sound is not working, I'll figure it out. How- how are you?"

"I'm good, thank you," he wants to ask him the same question back but for whatever reason Wooseok can't make himself. "Do we need sound?"

The taller seems to think for a minute there. "Now, that you say it... actually, no. Wow, I'm an idiot."

Wooseok chuckles and it makes Jinhyuk smile and for a moment there everything is fine. They are okay. The butterflies in Wooseok's stomach feel warm, tingly and nice and not like he has to throw up any minute. 

He puts his backpack down and takes his papers and cue cards together with a water bottle to place them neatly at the podium. His part comes first and then Jinhyuk does the other half of the presentation, as well as the Q&A part at the end because Wooseok had at some point voiced his sheer dread of being asked a question he has no answer to because he just really doesn't know much about the topic beyond what they had researched. The older didn't mind to take that task off his hands and that's one thing Wooseok will forever be grateful for.

Their presentation passes smoothly. Wooseok does his part just as planned and rehearsed and even gets a compliment from Prof. Ma for how good of a speaker he is. Jinhyuk is more engaging, though, he seems even more lively when given a stage to present something. The younger can't help but stare at him in awe. He has to remind himself not to get too attached again but it proves difficult being this close to him watching him do something so passionately. 

Once they are done, they have to go back to their seat because there's another presentation right after theirs. Wooseok habitually gravitates towards the table he always sits at which has been left empty for him while Jinhyuk looks around to see where else there's a free seat.

"You can sit with me," Wooseok offers shyly. "It's okay."

He doesn't know why he does it. He is nowhere near ready to move on from everything. He definitely doesn't want to awaken the idea in Jinhyuk that they could potentially start over or head somewhere in a direction beyond friendship. It's probably just the gratitude he genuinely feels towards the other in regards to this whole _Chinese History_ ordeal that he's happy has almost come to an end. 

They sit in silence next to each other like that. He can tell that Jinhyuk is a little uneasy, probably weighing how far Wooseok has let him in again. It's a question he wouldn't be able to answer himself. 

When the class ends they both get up and start packing up their things. Jinhyuk is much faster than Wooseok and while he puts his papers back into his backpack, he can feel the other's eyes on him. 

"Oh, uh, are you going to the uni festival this weekend?" Jinhyuk asks after seemingly contemplating for a bit. "I'm just asking because Yein is extremely worried that nobody will show up to his performance and you liked his voice, so..."

"I'll be there," the other says with a smile. "I actually ran into him the other day and he told me the same thing, but my friends and I were planning on going anyway. Besides, I'm sure the whole uni will be there, I hope he can stop worrying about the crowd size, they'll gravitate towards him as soon as he opens his mouth anyway."

Jinhyuk looks at him with a fond smile and warm eyes and Wooseok is worried he might just melt right then and there, so he looks down on his feet instead. 

"I'll tell him you said that," the older eventually says. "He'll be flattered, he really likes you."

Wooseok nods. "Well, I meant it and I really like him too."

"Alright, umm," Jinhyuk awkwardly plays with the halter on his bag. "See you there?"

"See you."

* * *

Since it's almost the end of the semester, the rest of Wooseok's week is spent mostly in the library between books and texts and loads of research. He has a couple of more creative projects to finish but he purposely tries to focus on the more boring ones first, so that he can get them out of the way.

Every day starts feeling like a drag, so when Saturday finally comes, Wooseok is relieved that he can switch off for the evening and just enjoy the festival as intended. He's going with Yohan and Junho, as well as Yohan's roommate Hangyul who happens to have no other plans that evening. 

As soon as they arrive at the festival grounds, they make sure to check out all the food stalls, mostly because Yohan is really whiny when he gets hungry. More even than usual. After 4 or 5 stops, Wooseok is so full he thinks he might explode when he suddenly hears his younger friend shout. "Alright, now let's get a Pikachu tonkatsu!"

"No," he protests. "Oh my god, Yohan, if I eat one more bite of anything, I will literally burst."

"You're weak, hyung," the other gives him a disappointed look then turns to his boyfriend. "Hoho, come on, let's share a Pikachu!" He coos and Junho seems instantly on board.

"Hangyul?"

"I'm good too," the boy says with what seems to be disgust in his face. 

"Alright," Yohan hooks an arm with his boyfriend and looks at the other two. "Where should we meet?"

"Umm, Yein's performance starts in about 30 minutes, so let's meet there?" Wooseok suggests.

"Sounds good," the younger retorts before they walk away. "Stand somewhere on the side where I can see you, okay?"

"Sure," Wooseok turns to Hangyul to ask him if he wants to do anything specific for the next half an hour or so but he finds the boy visibly cringing. "Is everything okay?"

"Hoho?" The other lets out. "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard."

Wooseok laughs out loud then pats Hangyul's shoulder. "Tell me about it, but Junho seems to be fine with it."

"He must be thoroughly whipped," the younger concludes. 

"Yep," Wooseok nods. "Should we get a drink before it starts?"

"Yes, please."

They arrive at the stage where the performances will take place about fifteen minutes later. Like every year, there is a range of music students who perform at this event, they act like a sort of opening act to the idol groups that the university manages to score that year. For their uni, there have been three somewhat known idol groups announced to appear but Wooseok doesn't really know any of them since he doesn't keep up with pop music these days.

He catches himself glancing around but his eyes don't find what he's looking for, so he dedicates his full attention to his drink and the loud voice of Yohan's that is calling out his name from somewhere.

"Hyung, we're here!" He spots the younger a couple of meters in front of Hangyul and him and they reunite. 

"Did you get your Pikachu tonkatsu?"

"Yes, oh my god, it was so delicious. I might get another one after your angel friend finishes," Yohan's eyes sparkle at the thought of eating again and Wooseok wonders where all that food fits inside of his friend.

The concert starts soon after. Wooseok doesn't know exactly when Yein would perform but they know that it would be within the first hour of it starting because the first idol act is announced to go on stage an hour later. 

About 40 minutes in, the familiar face finally appears on stage. Yein looks angelic as always. Wooseok has only briefly met him twice and barely talked to him at all, but he feels a certain type of ease and comfort whenever he sees the other and he welcomes that feeling. They give him a round of applause, Hangyul turning out to be a real hype man as soon as he found out that Yein is the guy they'd been waiting for to perform.

The singer smiles in their direction then approaches the mic. The stage lights turn off completely except for one single light that shines on Yein himself. He starts to sing without any instrumentals in the background and Wooseok can almost feel his limbs melting away with the sound of his voice. 

Junho claps excitedly and Yohan's eyes widen to meet his friend's who mouths at him. _"Didn't I tell you?"_

Then the instrumentals come in, it's a somewhat eerie melody that makes you feel uneasy on its own but paired with Yein's vocals it's incredibly beautiful. Wooseok thinks that it's because Jinhyuk knows exactly how to work with his best friend's voice and of course, he managed to create another masterpiece. He again wonders why he didn't see the other in the crowd yet but he assumes that the producer of the song would be allowed to watch from backstage as well. 

By the end of the song, Yohan is sobbing in Junho's arms and even Hangyul who looks quite manly and even slightly intimidating if he just stands there, wipes away tears from the corners of his eyes. Wooseok is just proud of Yein. It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders by seeing the performance go as well as it did and having the whole crowd cheer for an encore.

"You want an encore?" The singer suddenly says after thanking everyone for coming. "Oh my, I didn't expect that but lucky for you, I have another song prepared."

The crowd cheers again and Yein adds. "But I'll need some reinforcement because technically, it's not my song. I'm just featuring on this one," he chuckles then introduces his backup that ends up being no other than Jinhyuk.

Yohan's head shoots up from Junho's shoulder, eyes widened in shock he looks at Wooseok who is also standing there his hands frozen mid-applause, his mouth slightly agape. 

"Did you know?" Yohan shoots.

"No," Wooseok says without looking away from the man on the stage. 

"I didn't know he sings."

"He doesn't," the older manages to tear his eyes away to look at his friend. "He raps but..."

"But?"

"Uh, not... on stage, he is scared-"

"He's there, though," Yohan has a wide grin on his face now. "How much do you want to bet the song is for you?"

"No," Wooseok shoots it down immediately. "No, surely not."

The song starts with the chorus sung by Yein. The singer really drags out the lines working in a melody that the background instrumentals don't incorporate, even though they frame it well. The sound of this reminds Wooseok of the song Jinhyuk played for him at his place the only time he let him listen to his music. 

As soon as the first chorus ends, Jinhyuk's voice chimes in with the rap. He's heard him rap before but it's even more impressive seeing him do it right in front of him, his voice is strong and filled with emotion and yet, there's a playfulness in the way he pronounces words and juggles with them.

Just a couple of lines in, Wooseok knows that Yohan was right. The song _is_ for him and he can't help but tear up more and more as it progresses. 

_and I feel better when it rains_

_I feel better when it rains_

_cause that one rainy night_

_I held the whole world in my hands_

_and I feel better when it rains_

_I feel better when it rains_

_cause that one rainy night_

_I held the whole world in my hands_

_this morning again I opened my eyes as punishment_

_because I don't see you anymore when I'm awake_

_I go on and I pretend_

_and I'm still the best at that_

_I hurt you_

_I know I hurt you_

_I know I did it_

_I know you can believe me_

_but my track record is tainted_

_the irony that what made me suffer the most_

_now makes you suffer with me_

_I've been playing this game for so long_

_just to find out that I can't win it_

_they all want_

_attention_

_attention_

_they're all screaming for a mention_

_all that fake love inside_

_it's building up tension_

_but I'm screaming for protection_

_I really need an intervention_

_in my attempt to please everyone_

_I can't believe what I have done_

_the I who can't trust anyone_

_now can't be trusted by the only one_

_and I didn't understand_

_didn't want to understand_

_never felt at ease_

_unless I was caught up in a mess_

_but when I kissed your eyes_

_I had to hold my breath_

_cause now I know that night_

_I held the world in my own two hands_

_and I feel better when it rains_

_I feel better when it rains_

_cause that one rainy night_

_I held the whole world in my hands_

_an impossible trajectory_

_someone to love me just for me_

_never thought of the possibility_

_of that happening to me_

_and I sense that they're lying_

_when they say time heals all wounds_

_because I don't see how it could ever heal you_

_when you told me it was painful_

_to watch me be myself_

_I didn't want to hurt you_

_but what do I do about that_

_now those eyes that I revere_

_I regularly fill with tears_

_my beautiful little deer_

_I'm sorry you had to fall asleep in a lion's lair_

_knowing everything and still continuing_

_I would define love as such_

_but I guess for someone like me_

_that would be asking too much_

_I don't know if it's fair_

_I don't know if it's right_

_that we have to fall apart_

_but in any way_

_I know I'm to blame_

_because it can't be you_

_no way_

_now the lessons and the pain_

_it's all that I have left_

_but you, my love, probably_

_have even less than that_

_and I didn't understand_

_didn't want to understand_

_never felt at ease_

_unless I was caught up in a mess_

_but when I kissed your eyes_

_I had to hold my breath_

_cause now I know that night_

_I held the world in my own two hands_

_and I feel better when it rains_

_I feel better when it rains_

_cause that one rainy night_

_I held the whole world in my hands_

_and if we meet again_

_please don't hide your smile behind your hand_

_stand proud_

_hold up your head_

_and welcome me if you can_

_as a friend_

_without pain_

_without dread_

_maybe somewhere there_

_we can start again_

The moment the last word falls, Wooseok realises he's fully crying now. He can't stand to stand there anymore, so he runs away. He runs in the direction of the dorms. He can faintly hear Yohan's voice call his name but he doesn't turn around until he reaches the lobby of their dorms. 

He doesn't go upstairs. Wooseok doesn't want to go to his room and collapse again. He's had enough of that, instead, he ends up pacing circles in the lobby with students coming in and out giving him strange looks. 

Wooseok doesn't care. He needs to gather his thoughts, he needs to walk off the tears and the shaky feeling that nags at his bones that maybe he shouldn't have walked away. But what else could he have done in that state? He didn't understand how he felt a couple of minutes ago when he was standing there in the crowd listening to the man he loved practically spit out all his pain in front of hundreds of people. 

His own familiar pain builds up again, a pain that seems to be reserved for Jinhyuk. Sculpted by him, preserved for him, fostered by Wooseok to remain as strong as the first time he was met with it. Instead of succumbing to the pain, he chooses to listen to it this time. The pain is not induced by Jinhyuk, it's _begging_ for him. It's begging to see him, to embrace him, to kiss him. It's begging for his wide smiles and his addictive laughs. It's begging for Wooseok to lie next to him and breathe in his scent and feel like he's finally arrived at the end of it all. 

He doesn't know how much time has passed, maybe half an hour maybe more but as he slows down in walking, the pain gets replaced by the whirlwind that Jinhyuk used to provoke inside of him before it all came crashing down. The familiar roller coaster ride he always felt like being on when he was with the other. Only now the ride felt a hundred times intensified. There were probably a couple more loops added and he's pretty sure the speed increased as well. 

He has to get back and find Jinhyuk and tell him. Just as he wants to walk out of the building, Yohan literally walks into him. "Hyung, are you okay?"

"I'm good," Wooseok retorts with heavy breathing. He didn't even realise how much pacing in a circle has tired him out. "I'm more than good, I think."

"Okaaaay? That doesn't sound promising..."

"I want to be with him, Yohan," Wooseok states while putting his both hands on the other's shoulders. "You were right. I was hurting myself because I'm scared to be hurt by him, I guess. But I want him, it won't go away as much as I tried. I love him," he squeezes his eyes shut. "So much."

Suddenly, he feels strong arms wrap around his small frame. Yohan is hugging him tightly and even lifting him off the ground a little. "Oh my god, I'm so happy to hear that, hyung. You deserve this goddamn soap opera of a love story more than anyone. Let's go out there and get you your man!"

"O-okay," Wooseok tries to wiggle himself out of the younger's tight grip. "Th-thank you, but you're suff- you're suffocating me."

"Oh," he lets go of him. "Sorry, sometimes I just can't control myself."

"I figured," the smaller chuckles. "Come on, let's go."

They walk out and back to where the stage is now blasting K-pop music, apparently one of the idol groups is already performing. Wooseok thinks this would make it that much harder to find Jinhyuk but he walks into the crowd anyway. The roller coaster in his gut region is all loops by now. He can't see him, he can't see Yein either, or anyone he'd associate with Jinhyuk, so he tries to call him. 

A stupid idea in a crowded place but he doesn't know what else to do. The other doesn't pick up, so he writes him a message, telling him to call him back when he sees it. Surely, Jinhyuk won't put him on radio silence after he pulled the thing with that performance. 

Just as he thinks he has to give up and wait for the other to call him back, he sees Gyujin walking away from the crowd towards the exit of the campus. Wooseok doesn't even know how he gets through the throng as fast as he does but he catches Gyujin just outside of campus. He's holding his phone in his hands and looking up and down the street, Wooseok thinks he's probably waiting for an Uber.

"Gyujin," he calls just before he reaches him. "Hey, do you, by any chance, happen to know where Jinhyuk went?"

"Wooseok," the other looks at him slightly in shock but he can also make up worry in his eyes as well. "I-umm... Jinhyuk- he..."

"What?" Wooseok throws in confused, the roller coaster in his stomach accelerating by the second. "Where is he?"

Gyujin sighs, quickly looks at his phone then up at Wooseok again. "He's at the hospital," he eventually says. "I'm on my way there."

Just like that, the roller coaster inside of Wooseok derails and he's crashing. 


	10. #10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, everyone, thank you so much for reading this and for the overwhelming response I received for it!
> 
> I don't know if it deserves it but it seems to have touched a lot of people, so I'm happy I could create this.
> 
> I hope this chapter does it justice as the final chapter!
> 
> please, let me know what you think of it, your feedback means a lot! <33

He takes the Uber with Gyujin. They sit in silence for the first couple of minutes of the drive.

"How long has he had this?" Wooseok eventually asks.

Gyujin looks at him seemingly surprised to hear him talk. "He was born with it but this is the first time that he's had any serious issues related to it," he answers calmly. "At least since I've known him."

Wooseok thinks that it's all his fault. It was because of him that Jinhyuk hadn't been taking care of himself lately. It was because of him that he started drinking for the first time in his life. It was because of him that he thought he had to get up on stage and rap even though he was absolutely terrified of performing in front of people. It was because of him that he collapsed right after it, right in front of Yein who had to take him to the hospital all alone. 

The guilt inside of him threatens to overflow when he speaks. "He'll be okay, right?"

"Of course," Gyujin says immediately. "He'll be alright."

Wooseok doesn't know him that well but the tremor in the other's voice does not sound reassuring. He's never been very religious but for some reason, he starts to pray and doesn't stop until they reach the hospital.

At the hospital, they quickly find out where Jinhyuk is stationed and make their way there. They have to take the lift to the third floor, then take a left and just walk straight, room 313 would show up on the right. 

As soon as they take the left turn after the lift, they can see Yein seated in a chair right in front of the room in question. He's holding a cup of what appears to be tea in his hands that are uncontrollably shaking around the paper holder. His eyes are red and he has visible bags under them that Wooseok knows were not there just a couple of hours ago. 

"How is he?" Gyujin inquires as soon as they reach the other.

Yein looks from him to Wooseok and back again. He seems surprised that Wooseok is there but he doesn't say anything, instead, he answers the question. "They say he's stable but he hasn't woken up yet."

He gets up from his seat and puts the cup on it instead then takes a step towards Gyujin, throws his arms around his neck burying his face in the other's chest. "I was so scared," Yein sobs. 

The sight makes Wooseok almost cry as well but he holds it in, he wants to be strong for them. He's not sure whether they really care if he's there or not but they have been Jinhyuk's friends for much longer than Wooseok even knows him. He can't even start to imagine how this incident must have shocked them to their cores. An incident caused by _him_. He can't fall apart in front of them, he just can't.

"It's okay," Gyujin answers softly. "He'll be okay, do you hear me? You should go home, Yein, I'm here now. I'll take care of everything. You can go and rest."

Yein looks reluctant as he lets go of Gyujin but he nods, nevertheless. "Will you keep me updated? If- no, _when_ he wakes up?"

The taller nods and pats his head. "Of course." 

As Yein walks past Wooseok, he stops and squeezes his arm. "I'm glad you're here."

Wooseok can't help but give him a hug. One that he hopes is reassuring. "I'm so sorry," he says but Yein just shakes his head signalling that - at least in his opinion - there's nothing for him to feel sorry about. It doesn't erase the guilt Wooseok still feels inside.

As soon as Yein leaves, he exchanges a look with Gyujin. Both of them more worried than anything, anxious to get inside the room. 

Wooseok was not prepared for the sight. He doesn't know what he was expecting but seeing Jinhyuk in a hospital bed with tubes attached to the back of his hand, as well as the inside of his nose breaks his heart in a way it has never been broken before. The little monitor next to him shows them that his heartbeat is stable, he's breathing but he looks so weak and lifeless lying there in the hospital gown. Gyujin is standing next to him looking just as helpless and frightened as Wooseok himself. 

Suddenly, the door opens and a nurse looks inside. "Is one of you Han Gyujin?"

"Yes, that's me," the taller male answers with a shaky voice. 

"Can you come with us for a moment? Mr. Lee has put you down as his emergency contact, you'll have to sign a couple of documents," the nurse explains dryly. 

"Of course," he looks at Wooseok who just nods to him and informs him that he'll stay there. 

As soon as Gyujin leaves with the nurse, he finds himself alone with Jinhyuk. He can't do anything but stand at the foot of the other's hospital bed. He can't touch him out of fear that he'd somehow make it worse. He can't stand to see him like this but he also can't tear his eyes away from him, suddenly, painfully aware of every second he gets to look at Jinhyuk at all. 

The unspoken thought beneath that sentiment brings tears to the corners of his eyes. He can't hold it in any longer. Single tears multiply and turn into sobs. He wipes and wipes but his face doesn't seem to dry. 

When he looks up from cleaning his nose with a tissue he finds in his pocket, Jinhyuk is looking back at him. Wooseok thinks his own heart stops for a second there. He wants to open his mouth to say something but his voice betrays him, only a breath escaping his lips. 

They just stare at each other for a good minute or two. The older only slowly realising the surroundings he's in. 

"Woo- Wooseok," Jinhyuk says with the thinnest voice he has ever heard from him and a smile slowly forming around the corners of his lips. "I dreamed..."

Wooseok can tell that it takes effort for him to breathe and it just makes him cry even more. He tries not to let out any sounds but the tears are still regretfully streaming down his face.

"I dreamed I brought you milk and a croissant... in the morning," Jinhyuk continues. "You were so happy... I made you happy."

Just as Wooseok wants to say something back to him, the door opens and the nurse comes in closely followed by Gyujin. He looks at the taller male then at the nurse. "He woke up," is all he can say before Jinhyuk closes his eyes again and the nurse asks them to leave because visiting hours had ended about 15 minutes ago. 

"No, I have to tell him something," Wooseok argues. "He was awake just seconds ago, please, I have to talk to him."

"I'm afraid, we can't let you do that right now," the nurse says apologetically.

Gyujin pulls him out of the room. "Come on," he says softly. "We should go home."

"But Gyujin, he was awake. I need to tell him-" he starts knowing that he sounds desperate but the other interrupts him.

"He'll be fine," he puts both of his hands on the sides of Wooseok's arms as to reassure him or maybe he's trying to ground him. "They told me that he will probably be able to go home tomorrow already, it's just the meds that are knocking him out right now but he's stable."

A relieved sigh escapes the smaller, a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. "Oh, thank god."

"So, if you want to, you can give me your number and I'll let you know when they let him home tomorrow," Gyujin ends letting go of Wooseok.

"Yes," the other says. "Please."

He holds out his hand for Gyujin to pass him his phone but just before Wooseok can take it, the other just slightly pulls back again. "I'm just doing this because I can tell that you're genuinely worried for him, but Wooseok," he stops and gives him a stern look that is just intensified by his well-defined eyebrows. "If whatever you have to tell him is just going to break his heart even more, I don't want you to show up at our doorstep. Do you understand?"

Instead of answering, Wooseok just takes the phone, types in his number and gives it back with a "thank you."

* * *

Wooseok doesn't sleep that night. Mainly because the events of the day still have him shaken to the core. His hands haven't stopped trembling since the moment Gyujin told him that Jinhyuk was at the hospital, his knees too weak to hold him up. There's also the fear that Gyujin might call him earlier than the next day for reasons he doesn't even want to think about. He doesn't entertain this thought or he tries not to but the sheer terror of it is enough to keep him awake until the early hours when Yohan knocks on his door.

He lets the younger in and they sit together on Wooseok's bed anxiously waiting for his phone to ring. 

"So, he's had a heart condition all his life?" The younger inquires more like a summary to Wooseok telling him about the events of the night before. The other just nods. "How cruel..."

"Apparently, he's been all fine," Wooseok says in a low tone. "Until I came..."

"No," Yohan throws in right away. "Hyung, you can't go there. You can't blame yourself. This is not on you, he makes his own decisions."

"He wouldn't have made all the wrong decisions if it wasn't for me, though."

"No, stop it," Yohan shakes his head. "This is not healthy for you. Nobody could have seen this coming, especially not someone who didn't even know about his heart condition. You can't blame yourself, hyung. You just can't. He's fine, he'll be home any minute and Gyujin will call you and tell you that everything is good because it is and then you can go there and tell him how much you love him and you can be together."

"I'm not sure if I should, Yohan," Wooseok says, his voice barely a whisper.

"What do you mean? You have to! You love each other so much, I can't watch this anymore!"

"I'm scared," the older retorts with a shaky voice. He didn't think he could cry any more but he's close to tears again. "Every time I decide that I want to tell him, every time I convince myself that we should be together, something happens and every time it gets worse and worse. Maybe it's the universe telling me it's just not meant to be... and- and I wouldn't stop until I almost killed him. Maybe it's time to stop."

"That's not how the universe works, hyung," the younger states matter-of-factly. "If anything this is the universe telling you that this is something worthwhile. It's testing you to see if you _really_ want it and if you'd be able to appreciate it when you eventually got it. I mean, in all of this, was there ever a moment you thought that being with him might just not be worth it?"

"No," Wooseok looks up the other. "Not even once."

"Then you should be together," Yohan concludes. "All of this didn't happen because you decided to confess to him, it happened because you never really did."

The smaller takes his hand and squeezes lightly. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it. After all, you saved me from the microwave!"

"You do realise it wouldn't have killed you, right?"

"You never know."

"Okay then."

Gyujin doesn't call him until hours later around noon. Wooseok picks up the phone.

\- Is he home? Is everything okay?

\- _Yes, yes, he's just fine. He'll have to take more meds for a while but he's pretty much his old, annoying self. But Wooseok, uh... you should probably not come over right now..._

\- Why?

\- _His parents are here and... well, they've been scolding him like a little kid for an hour now. I don't know when they'll leave... I'm hiding in my room, they scolded me too._

\- I see. Can you let me know when they leave?

\- _Sure, I'll text you. I hope they DO leave... I'm kinda scared they'll try to move in with us._

\- I'm sure they're just worried, it's not like he just had a cold, you know?

\- _I know, I know... anyway, I'm hanging up. I've been meaning to use the bathroom for a while now and I didn't dare to leave my room but I really have to go now._

\- Okay, uhm... be safe?

_\- Thanks. See you._

\- See you.

Gyujin's message comes around 4 pm in the afternoon. Apparently, Jinhyuk's parents had finally left after they made sure he's all good again and that he remembered all the things he was not allowed to do or consume. 

Wooseok feels bad reading that message but he knows he has to go and talk to Jinhyuk himself. He owes him that much after everything that happened. He's not quite sure what he wants to tell him once he's there but he puts on a pair of jean shorts and a simple yellow shirt and literally, storms out of his room towards the subway station. 

It's one of those times when it feels like the subway is just not fast enough, even though it takes the same amount of time it always took to get to Jinhyuk's place. Today, it feels longer. 

The moment it arrives at the station near the other's apartment building, Wooseok is the first to get off the wagon. He rushes up to Gyujin's and Jinhyuk's place and knocks on the door, not before taking a deep breath.

He can hear shuffling inside. A door opens, then closes again. The door handle in front of him is pressed down from the inside and there he is.

"Woo- Wooseok," Jinhyuk stutters as soon as he opens the door. "What are you doing here?"

"How are you?" The smaller inquires. He thinks it's probably one of the first times he's asking this question and _actually_ caring about the answer to it. 

The other looks flabbergasted. "I'm... I'm fine, thanks, how are you?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, of course," Jinhyuk says and steps out of the way for him to walk in. "Sorry, I was not expecting y- um, visitors."

Wooseok steps into the apartment. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all," the older suddenly looks down on himself. He's wearing sweatpants and a simple white shirt, his hair is undone covering his forehead - something Wooseok realises he hasn't seen before. It makes Jinhyuk look a lot younger and softer, and apparently a lot more self-conscious too because he starts flattening the hair on the back of his head and pulling on his shirt trying to make it fall differently. 

"You look good," the younger says looking up at him with piercing eyes. "For someone who almost died yesterday," he adds with a scolding undertone.

"It was not that bad, really," Jinhyuk says somewhat taken aback. "And thanks, I guess?"

"Not _that bad_ ," Wooseok scoffs as he walks past him towards the other's room. 

"So, we're going to my room now, okay."

"I'm not gonna be scolding you in the hallway," the smaller informs him as he opens the door to Jinhyuk's room. "Gyujin has been through enough."

"Scolding me?" he hears behind himself as he walks in just to find the room an entire mess. There's papers lying around on the table and the floor underneath it. Electronic devices, cables and instruments are tossed all over the floor. There are clothes piling up in a corner of the room, as well as the chair in front of the desk. Wooseok has been here many times but he has never seen the other's place anything other than perfectly tidy and organised. The guilt inside of him is growing by the second.

As soon as the door closes behind Jinhyuk, Wooseok turns to him with what he hopes to be a stern face. "Why did you think you had to do that?"

"I'm not following," the other says visibly confused.

"That performance, all of that," the smaller explains with an admittedly soft glare. "Why couldn't you just tell me in person? Or like record it and send it to me or something?"

"Would you have listened?" Jinhyuk asks sceptically. "Besides, I've messed up so much with you, it really called for a bit more than a simple mixtape, don't you think?"

"No," Wooseok retorts now slightly louder. "No, I don't think... especially not when you collapse afterwards."

"Ah, that wasn't supposed to happen..."

"Oh, it _wasn't_?" The younger says comically. "Well, _that_ clears everything then."

"I guess, I haven't been taking care of myself that well lately," Jinhyuk looks apologetic but then his face brightens up within seconds. "But I will now that I've seen what happens, I'm going back to my old, clean ways 100%."

The statement sends an electrifying surge to Wooseok's stomach. He knows it's his fault the other hadn't been taking care of himself. What right does he have to scold him? "I'm sorry."

"No, you have nothing to apologise for, okay? It's not like you made me do any of this. I was just being a careless idiot."

"If I hadn't been that stubborn-" Wooseok starts.

"You had all the rights to be stubborn about it... Look, I'm really okay, I know I'm a little pale and I have to take a couple more meds than usual but I honestly feel normal again and I intend to keep it that way," Jinhyuk reassures him with a bright smile then suddenly turns somewhat serious. "You know, I truly meant what I said in the song... if there is any way that we could put this all behind us and move on and perhaps be friends again, I'd-"

"No," Wooseok interrupts him. "I honestly thought about it, a lot. Yesterday after your performance and then at the hospital too and even this morning, even on my way here... like, I genuinely tried to imagine it, but I can't. I don't want to be your friend."

"Oh," it's almost endearing how Jinhyuk's face falls. "I understand."

"I don't want your _friendship._ I want more, Jinhyuk, _so much_ more. I want you, all of you. I've known this long before you confessed to me - and I know you know I'm in love with you but you honestly have no idea. And I'm sorry that I was so stubborn, like, yes, you were not necessarily a clean slate yourself, but I was so afraid to have my heart broken that I just went and broke it myself over and over again but I'm done. I'm so done. I'm here and I love you and I demand that kiss you refused me that night," Wooseok fears he might cry again just from baring his soul in front of Jinhyuk like this, he really hopes he's not making things worse as he speaks. "And if you still want me, I'll gladly accept your damaged heart and I promise to take good care of it from now on so that I never have to see it beating on a monitor again."

The taller male looks like he's had a malfunction of some sort because he just stands there, mouth slightly open and pupils visibly shaking.

"Jinhyuk? Are you okay?"

"I have to sit down," the older says and moves to sit on the foot of his bed.

"O-okay," Wooseok is starting to get worried. "I'm sorry-"

"No, please, come here," Jinhyuk gestures with a hand for him to come over. 

The younger walks over to him and the other immediately wraps his arms around his legs, pulling him in while pressing his head against his stomach. The way Jinhyuk is seated he's still not that much lower than Wooseok but the latter puts his hands on the other's head and strokes his hair.

They don't have to say anything anymore. Wooseok knows that he still wants him. He can tell by the way Jinhyuk breathes him in, by the way his hands hold onto the back of Wooseok's thighs as if he's holding onto dear life. He lets his own hands slip from Jinhyuk's hair down to cup his face and lift it up so they look at each other. He uses his thumbs to stroke over the other's cheekbones then leans down to kiss his cheeks, slowly one after the other. Jinhyuk smiles at him in adoration and Wooseok thinks his heart might just melt at the sight. He presses another soft kiss to the tip of Jinhyuk's nose, then moves his thumbs up to close his eyes. He gives a chaste kiss to his left eyelid, then another to his right one before he brushes the older's bangs out of the way to place a longer kiss to his forehead. 

Finally, he moves down to Jinhyuk's slightly open mouth and lingers there for a couple of seconds just breathing. Just like that night but this time he closes the distance between their lips with the softest kiss he can muster up in his current state of blind passion for the other.

It only takes their lips brushing against each other for maybe three times before Wooseok's knees embarrassingly give in and fold. Luckily, Jinhyuk's hands are still holding onto him, so instead of falling to the ground, the other pulls him onto his lap. The small disturbance breaks their kiss but Wooseok is now sitting on top of the other with his arms around his neck.

Jinhyuk chuckles at the other's sudden reaction. "Look I'm not judging. If I wasn't sitting down, you'd probably have to scrape me off the floor right now."

"I'd been waiting for this particular kiss for quite a while, you know?" Wooseok justifies his weak knees. 

"And now?"

"Now I want more."

Jinhyuk laughs then leans back and flips them over on the bed, so that the smaller is lying on his back while the other is slightly leaning on his side, hovering above him. He leans down and reconnects their lips with more fervour, kissing him languidly while his one hand moves up and down Wooseok's upper body, the other holding his face in place. 

The younger's hands do some exploring of their own wandering from Jinhyuk's back up to his head to grab fistfuls of soft, unstyled hair. The rate at which his heartbeat quickens is almost alarming. Wooseok thinks he's going to pass out any minute if they continue to make out like this. That doesn't stop him from tilting his head so that Jinhyuk can deepen the kiss even more, his tongue now fully exploring the insides of the younger's mouth.

Wooseok thinks that he always hated kissing with tongue but right now he can't really remember why because it feels so unbelievably good the way Jinhyuk does it. Just before they want to break apart to catch air, Wooseok bites the older's plump lower lip and sucks on it a couple of times earning himself a drawn-out groan from the other male. 

He smirks after that looking up at Jinhyuk who seems just as out of breath as himself. He wonders if the other's heart is doing well but he can't go much deeper into that thought because Jinhyuk leans down again now placing kisses all over Wooseok's jawline and neck. 

His whole body threatens to overheat when Jinhyuk's hand slips into the leg of his shorts stroking up his naked thigh until it reaches his clothed behind. To make matters worse, the older's mouth doesn't stop at his neck. The moment he reaches the collar of Wooseok's shirt, he doesn't pull at it to reveal more skin, he doesn't reach into it either, Jinhyuk's lips expertly find the other's nipple right away trapping the hardened bud between them through his shirt.

Wooseok is only slightly embarrassed at the sound he lets out at that. His shorts are growing tighter by the minute and he fears his face must be a crimson colour by now. He's not entirely sure where he finds the strength to speak. "No... stop... Jinhyuk, please..."

Jinhyuk breaks it off immediately and looks up at him with big eyes. That gaze alone is probably enough to make Wooseok melt into a puddle. 

"What? Sorry, does it not feel good?" The older asks alarmed.

"Oh, it feels good," Wooseok starts. "So good- maybe too good if that's even possible. I definitely want to do more of it and, you know, take it further and explore it in all the ways possible-"

"Wooseok," Jinhyuk interrupts him.

"Huh?"

"You're rambling."

"Yes, I know."

"So, what is it?" He says with a small chuckle.

"Two things. First, I want to wait," Wooseok replies while stroking the other's cheek. "This whole thing with us... I feel like it's been one crazy roller coaster ride and now I just need to get off of it first. I want to slow down and feel grounded again before I fully throw myself into this. Is... is that okay?"

"Of course that's okay," Jinhyuk's response sounds genuine and Wooseok is grateful for it. "Even if we just go on holding hands for the next two months or so, I'd be the happiest man on Earth."

Wooseok can't help but smile fondly at that. "Okay, that's incredibly cute but no, _hell no_ , I'm talking a couple of actual, real dates... you know, to get to know each other better at this stage."

"That's good too, I'm all for it."

"See, you say that but your hand is still inside the leg of my pants and it's painfully close to body parts that don't agree with that statement," Wooseok jokes and it makes Jinhyuk laugh out loud, roll off of him and lie on his back still trying to catch his breath. 

It's Wooseok's turn to hover above the other and stare. "You have the best laugh, do you know that?"

"Wooseok comma Kim, you'll make me blush."

"So what? It looks good on you," the younger leans down to press a slow but passionate kiss to Jinhyuk's hungry lips. 

"What's the other thing?" Jinhyuk inquires when they break apart again.

"Hm?"

"You said "two things" before you told me you wanted to take it slow," he elaborates. "What's the other thing?"

"Oh," Wooseok chuckles. "I thought you weren't that great in bed and I didn't care about it but I'm starting to think you were lying..."

"When did I say that?" Jinhyuk's eyes furrow in confusion.

  
"At Junho's party..."

"That- was not a dream?"

"Oh no, that was definitely not a dream."

"Okay, now I'm embarrassed," Jinhyuk covers his eyes with his hands, a shy smile visible underneath the lanky fingers.

"Don't be," Wooseok removes the other's hands again then fondly smiles at him. "You also told me you loved me, so you know, it was not all embarrassing."

"Well, that much is true," the older says pointing a finger at him. "The other thing... I guess it's not that I'm bad, I've just mostly been a very selfish lover if that makes sense. That shouldn't be a problem with you, though."

"How am I supposed to understand that?"

"Well, for one, I put your satisfaction before mine," Jinhyuk elaborates as if he were holding a presentation at uni. "But then also, I just happen to be selfishly highly interested in exploring every single bit of skin on your body which, I can imagine, would in one way or the other enhance your experience as well."

Wooseok thinks he's never been turned on this much by someone explaining something so factually. He can't help but kiss him again. He wonders if kissing Jinhyuk would ever get old because, right now, it's hands down the best thing he's ever experienced. 

"So, what are you doing tomorrow?" Jinhyuk inquires between kisses.

"I wish I could say I'm having a couple of dates with you but unfortunately, I have an exam in the morning and need to work on a project for Tuesday in the afternoon," Wooseok says apologetically. "This is really the worst time to start a new relationship."

"It's okay," Jinhyuk says with a smile while brushing hairs out of the other's face. "We're taking our time."

* * *

"So, now that the two of you have finally found to each other," Yohan starts. "How about a double date tomorrow evening?"

It's the following Thursday and they are once again seated in the cafeteria. Yohan and Woosek sitting next to each other as usual and now there's Jinhyuk eating two whole meals across from them. 

"I'd love that," he says in between bites. "But Wooseok and I didn't have a chance to go on a regular date, yet, and I'd really like to do that first before we throw ourselves into a double date with the world's most perfect couple."

"What? No, we're not, come on," Yohan blushes and gestures him to stop with his hand. "It's all Wooseok's fault, I'm sure. He does that every semester," he shakes his head. "Leaves all the work until the last two weeks and then crams everything at once without sleeping."

"Oh, that's not good," Jinhyuk looks at Wooseok with furrowed eyebrows. "You have to sleep."

"I'm okay," Wooseok can't help but give them both an eye-roll. "I have one exam tomorrow and then the _Chinese History_ one on Tuesday and then I'm done. That means tomorrow I get to sleep then I'll spend one last weekend overdosing on coffee and next Tuesday afternoon I'm free to be dated as much as you want."

"How is it going with _Chinese History_?" Yohan inquires with genuine curiosity. "You've been complaining about it for months..."

"I'm still struggling," Wooseok retorts with a pout. 

"Ha," Jinhyuk throws in while chewing his food.

"What?"

"Nothing," he says. "I mean, _if only_ you knew a History major who happens to enjoy nothing more than spending time with you and who also has to take that same exam..."

"I couldn't ask you for help, I'm sure you have enough on your plate as it is."

"Actually, I don't," Jinhyuk shrugs. " _Chinese History_ is my last exam too and I'm done with everything else. So, if you want to spend the weekend at my place and study together, I'd be thrilled."

Wooseok gives him a sceptical look. "I don't know..."

"If you need to overdose while you study, we also have excellent coffee," the older says with a huge smile. "I mean, not that I would know, I'm not allowed to drink it but Gyujin is a true _connaisseur_..." He says the last word with a chuckle. "At least that's what he thinks, it's something we tend to make fun of when it comes up. I should let you in on all the inside jokes of my friends' circle, so you can mock the right people with the right anecdotes too."

"Oh," Wooseok finds sudden interest in the topic. "What do they make fun of you about?"

"There's plenty but I don't think I should be the one telling you," Jinhyuk winks.

"So, what about Yein then?"

"Ah," the older starts excitedly but then pulls back somewhat. "Oh, _you_ can't really make fun of that..."

"Me?"

"Yeah..."

"Is it too personal and I'm not allowed to know?" Wooseok is almost a little worried that Jinhyuk's other friends could be making fun of Yein about something completely insensitive. He feels a new-found instinct to protect the singer at all cost rising within him.

"No, it's nothing like that," Jinhyuk answers while scrunching his nose. "It's just..."

He coughs awkwardly into his fist and Wooseok suddenly understands.

"His height?" He exclaims then narrows his eyes. "You evil giants, I'm glad he has me now. I'll fight you all."

"Hey," Jinhyuk pouts. "You know I like your height! It's perfect for me. You look so cute when you look up at me with those doe eyes and I can just pick you up and take you anywhere."

Wooseok still glares at him even though he can feel a warmth grow inside of him at the other's words. 

"So, _Chinese History,_ " the older tries to retract. "What do you say?"

Wooseok sighs. "I guess, you're my best bet."

"Awesome," Jinhyuk exclaims with another huge grin. "I'll pick you up on Saturday morning and I promise I'll make you pass that exam!"

"You two are honestly so cute," Yohan throws in, his head propped up on his hands while he looks at them with something resembling childlike adoration. "I'm so glad it all worked out with you in the end. Love wins once again!"

Jinhyuk just chews on his food while Wooseok looks at the younger with a cringe. 

* * *

Jinhyuk is a great study partner. Wooseok thinks he could be a great teacher, too, but that doesn't change anything about the fact that he's just not interested in _Chinese History_. It also doesn't help that his study partner - as great as he is - is also annoyingly charismatic, ridiculously handsome and, well, his boyfriend. 

As Jinhyuk focuses on finding the right words to explain the topic to him, Wooseok focuses on the way the other's lips move, the way his facial expressions change, the way his eyes light up every now and then when he talks about something he actually finds interesting. Most of all, he can only focus on the way Jinhyuk's collarbones protrude exposed by the wide neckline of his pyjama shirt.

It's Saturday evening and they'd been studying the whole afternoon and they'll probably study the whole of Sunday and Monday too, so it can't hurt to put _Chinese History_ behind them for today and explore a whole different subject matter, Wooseok thinks.

They are sitting on the floor, Jinhyuk leaning against his bed holding a paper in his hands now earnestly going through all the points he had written down on it. Wooseok is sitting across from him and decides to put his own notes down, crawl towards the other and try to seduce him as best as he can. 

He takes the paper out of Jinhyuk's hand and places it neatly to the side, then he throws a leg around the other so that he sits on top of him, straddling him. 

"What are you doing?" Jinhyuk inquires hands already grabbing onto Wooseok's waist.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" The younger asks cupping his face just to lean down and place a languid kiss onto his lips, making sure to move his body on top of Jinhyuk in ways he would never want to admit. 

He's happy at how the other reacts, how his body reciprocates every single one of Wooseok's movements before he just slightly, unwillingly pushes him away. "Didn't we say we'd wait with this?

"And here I was thinking dating the school's biggest playboy would at least guarantee me some sex," Wooseok tries to be funny to ease the tension between them.

"You make me sound like a manwhore," Jinhyuk retorts. "I mean, it's not like I slept with everyone I ever dated."

The smaller leans back on his lap and gives him an incredulous look. 

"Okay, I did sleep with a lot of people," the older cringes at his own statement then pouts. "Is that a problem for you?"

Wooseok laughs out loud finding it endearing in a way. "Of course not, I really don't care what you did in your past as long as you don't sleep with other people while you're with me."

"I would _never,_ " Jinhyuk states so sincerely that the other thinks he might melt. 

"Then we're good."

"But, Wooseok, we wanted to wait."

"I think we've waited enough," Wooseok leans in to kiss him again.

"I don't know," Jinhyuk shakes his head. "My blood might be rushing to all the wrong places right now but I still have enough in my brain to know that I should respect the wishes of the heartbroken Wooseok who wanted to take things slow and not this horny Wooseok who just wants to procrastinate on studying for _Chinese History._ "

"No, no, no, I've met heartbroken Wooseok, he's a mess, he doesn't know what he's talking about," the younger says while eagerly pressing kisses to Jinhyuk's chin. "You should listen to me." He grinds down on the other's crotch while worrying a piece of skin right underneath his ear.

He thinks he has him with that at they way Jinhyuk's hands squeeze his ass and pull him in flush against himself. Wooseok's own hands are laced into Jinhyuk's hair pulling and tugging occasionally as their lips connect again with more fervour than ever.

They break apart breathless, clouded, hot for each other but also just really hot. "Get up," Jinhyuk orders with a stern visage that makes Wooseok's abdominal regions engorge. "Bed."

The smaller does as he's told, eager to finally get what he's been longing for ever since they got together and probably way much longer than that. He sits up on the bed leaning against the headboard desirous to have the other on him again. Jinhyuk crawls on the bed towards him, grabs him by his thighs then pulls him down so he's lying on the bed underneath him, his legs spread apart like an invite for the older to lean in. 

And Jinhyuk does. He props himself up on his elbows caging in Wooseok's head, then leans in to place the softest, purest kiss to his lips barely touching them leaving a tingling sensation on the pink skin. 

"I won't break the first promise I ever made to you," Jinhyuk whispers against his lips. "We'll wait."

Wooseok thinks he's never been this breathless and this in love in his entire life. As much as he wants to be completely devoured by the other, his heart flutters at the intention behind his willingness to wait. He doesn't want to argue with that.

Jinhyuk gets off of him but doesn't move away. He leans on his side stroking Wooseok's face, playing with strands of his hair. "God, you're so beautiful it hurts."

Wooseok can't say anything. He thinks he smiles but Jinhyuk suddenly looks concerned. "I hope you're not angry that I don't want to make love to you tonight."

The younger shakes his head, lifting up a hand to place it on the side of Jinhyuk's neck, fingers in the back, thumb brushing over his jawline. 

"You know, that's just one way to show you how much I love you," Jinhyuk says as he cups Wooseok's face and pulls him closer to look him in the eyes. "But I want to love you in so many different ways. I will love you tomorrow morning when the morning sun touches your sleeping face. I bet you will look ethereal, I'm already looking forward to that. I will love you for waking up next to me in the first place. I will love you when you're happy and I will love you when you're sad. I will make sure to love you the most when we fight because you know we will, but I'll love you then and we'll be good again. I will love you on every single date and then, of course, I will make love to you and I'll make sure nobody has ever done it to you as good as I can. I will love you the best that I can because you taught me how to do it in the first place."

There are no words to describe what Wooseok feels right now. The old familiar whirlwind, maybe, but it's so much warmer, so much more comforting. His chest squeezes in the best way possible as he tries not to let any tears escape the corners of his eyes. He's cried enough, god knows he has, but he can tell his eyes are filling up with seawater once again. He can only grab fistfuls of Jinhyuk's shirt and lean into him, revelling at how he automatically wraps his arms around his smaller frame. Wooseok feels the other's chin on top of his own head.

"I love you, Jinhyuk," he eventually says. "With everything I have."

"I love you more," Jinhyuk chuckles. "Wooseok comma Kim."


	11. #11 (BONUS)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> due to popular request I wrote this bonus chapter including all the things that made sense to me to add to the story :)
> 
> thank you all for reading and loving the story that much, I really appreciate it.
> 
> please note that the ratings have changed, so if you don't like mature content, you can just leave it at chapter 10^^

There's an awkward stage to every kind of relationship. Especially for someone like Wooseok. The shift from nothing to boyfriend with Jinhyuk happened so naturally though. Of course, it didn't all go smoothly with them but as soon as it did, everything just fell into place. Like it was meant to be.

It's so easy to be with Jinhyuk. It's so easy to love him. It's easy to feel warm when he smiles and feel loved when he kisses Wooseok, when he gives him time and respects his every whim. 

Jinhyuk as a boyfriend is very attentive, cute and caring. Wooseok thinks he's never had a relationship like this. He's never felt about anyone like this. This feeling puts scary thoughts into his mind.

Thoughts like what if this is it? What if it just stays like this forever? What if Jinhyuk _is_ his forever?

He shouldn't be thinking any of it this early into the relationship, of course, but he can't help it. It all feels so out of this world. Like when he wakes up in Jinhyuk's bed the morning after their first study session and the taller male comes into the room, smiling at him. "Morning sunshine!"

"Why are you already up?" Wooseok protests. "Why are you not in bed with me?"

Jinhyuk laughs at that and drops next to him, cosying himself up into the sheets as well. "I woke up hours ago and I waited for you but you kept sleeping, so I thought I'd wash up and have breakfast after, like, staring at you for an hour or so..."

This is exactly the kind of warm feeling that makes him think that the expiry date on their relationship might just be non-existent. "Creep."

The older leans in and kisses his lips softly making sure he doesn't part them because Wooseok had already told him off for kissing him in the morning before he had a chance to brush his teeth - after all, he really didn't want to scare off the potential love of his life with morning breath.

"Come on, get up. I want to make lunch for us."

"Lunch?" The smaller retorts in shock. "What time is it?"

"Around 11 am?" Jinhyuk informs him.

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"Why would I do that?" He smiles wildly. "You looked so cute, I couldn't rob you of your beauty sleep."

"Do I look like I need _beauty sleep_?" Wooseok jokes. 

It makes Jinhyuk laugh. "Certainly not! I apologise if I insulted your good looks, your highness!"

"I'll accept your apology," the other says with a serious voice. "But as punishment, you shall carry me to the bathroom now!"

"Yessir," Jinhyuk says then gets up and removes the warm blanket off of Wooseok's body to replace it with warm arms around his middle. He pulls him up then throws him over his shoulder and takes him to the bathroom as instructed. 

In the bathroom, he puts him down in front of the sink then grabs his face by the cheeks and pecks his nose. He even puts toothpaste on a toothbrush he bought specifically for Wooseok when he comes to stay over - it's purple, his favourite colour - then he leaves and Wooseok is just so in love. 

When he finishes washing up, he goes to the living room where he finds Gyujin sitting on the floor in front of the TV with a Playstation controller in his hand. He looks up at Wooseok and shoots him a somewhat awkward smile.

"Hey, umm, do you wanna play Mario Kart?" He asks. "Jinhyuk just abandoned me to go to make you lunch, pfff, can you believe him?"

It makes Wooseok laugh and his heart flutter at the same time. The thought of Jinhyuk cooking for him is not something he'd ever thought he'd experience but here they are. 

He has seen Gyujin a couple of times since the night at the hospital, but they still have to warm up to each other properly. Wooseok can tell that he's welcome, though, he can tell that Gyujin accepts him as a part of Jinhyuk's life now and inevitably, a part of their life as well. Moreover, he can tell that he is really actively trying to make him feel comfortable whenever Wooseok is over at their place and it's something the smaller really appreciates a lot. 

"Sure," he says taking a controller from Gyujin and sitting down on the sofa. "But only if I can be Princess Peach."

The boy on the floor scoffs.

"What?"

"Nothing," Gyujin starts. "It's just that everything about you literally screams that you're a whole bottom."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, too personal?"

"Well, actually, not really," Wooseok reasons. "I'm getting the feeling that your group of friends is quite... tight. I guess I'll have to start to accept that some TMI stuff will be shared occasionally."

"Yep," Gyujin nods. "No topic is taboo with us, sorry man."

"It's okay, I'll get used to it. Besides, we still gotta find out in this particular situation..." The smaller says with a cheeky smile. He can practically feel his ears heat up.

"Find out what?" The other inquires.

"Whether I'm a bottom or not."

Gyujin turns to face him from where he's still seated on the floor which causes his character to fall off a cliff and puts him back a couple of ranks in the game. Wooseok can read disbelief on his face mixed with something he's not quite sure how to describe. "You mean... you haven't..."

"Nope."

"I can't believe I went to the pharmacy at almost midnight last night to buy a new set of noise-cancelling earbuds for nothing."

Wooseok laughs out loud. "I'm really sorry about that but-"

At that moment, Jinhyuk appears from out of the kitchen. "Gyujin, are you eating with us?"

"What are you making?" The younger asks from the floor.

"Cream pasta!"

"Oh, I love cream pasta," Wooseok throws in.

"I know," Jinhyuk winks at him then turns to look at Gyujin again.

"If I'm allowed in your little Korean drama here, I'd gladly eat as well," he answers with played annoyance in his voice.

"Alright," the taller says and turns around to go back to the kitchen but then stops like an afterthought and walks over to where Wooseok is seated on the sofa to press a chaste kiss to his lips. "I almost forgot."

Wooseok can feel his cheeks warm up when Jinhyuk eventually leaves and he can also see that Gyujin is grinning at him from the corner of his eyes. 

"Shut up," he says without looking at the other.

"I didn't say anything."

"Your eyebrows are loud enough."

"Are they now?" Gyujin laughs. "Honestly, I'm glad you two found each other. I've known him for a long time but I've never seen him this happy."

"Thank you," Wooseok retorts sincerely. "Took us long enough..."

"A lot of things seem to be taking you guys long..." Gyujin teases.

"I'd hold onto those noise-cancelling earbuds if I were you," he counters while simultaneously sending Princess Peach first over the finish line and causing Gyujin to curse loudly at the screen. 

* * *

"You have to eat something," Jinhyuk argues as they stand in front of the counter at the cafeteria. It's Tuesday about an hour before their _Chinese History_ exam which is simultaneously both of their last exam.

Wooseok feels too nervous to eat even though it's almost lunchtime. Unlike his boyfriend, he can't go into this exam all relaxed and unbothered. They might have studied the whole weekend - with a couple of distracting make-out sessions mostly initiated by himself - but Wooseok is still not sure if he has grasped even the tip of the iceberg that is the entire history of China. He just wants it to be done and over with but until that is the case, he's resorted to feeling anxious.

"I'm really not hungry," he whines.

"How about we share a kimbap roll?" Jinhyuk suggests. "Do you like tuna?"

"Jinhyuk," a soft female voice calls from their left side. "Hi."

The owner of the voice is an extremely pretty girl with long black hair, a cute, pale face, wearing an outfit that she could easily also wear at a club but there she is in the campus cafeteria. Wooseok has seen her before but he never cared enough to find out what her name is. He didn't know that she knew Jinhyuk but then again, everyone knows Jinhyuk. It's something the smaller still has to get used to when walking around campus with his boyfriend.

"Hey, Jennie," Jinhyuk retorts briefly quickly smiling at her then moving his attention back to the different types of kimbap listed on the board.

"Did you hear," Jennie starts. "I'm having a party at my house this Friday, will I see you there?"

The way she plays with her hair and lifts her gaze up in playful shyness as she asks, it's clear as day that she's flirting with Jinhyuk. It doesn't take a detective to figure it out and Wooseok can tell that the taller registers as well. 

"Hmm, I don't know," Jinhyuk replies slowly while putting an arm around Wooseok's waist and pulling him into his side, placing a quick kiss to his temple. "What do you think, baby? Do we wanna go?"

Jinhyuk barely ever calls him by a different pet name than the ridiculous one he usually uses which makes it clear to Wooseok that he's trying to make it obvious to Jennie that they are dating. It works. She frowns and looks genuinely taken aback by the small gesture of the taller male. 

Wooseok looks up at him. "I don't want to go but feel free to go without me."

"Nah, what am I supposed to do at a party without you?" Jinhyuk says with a shrug. "Thanks for the invite, Jennie, but I guess, we're not coming. Hope you have a fun party, though."

"Right," Jennie says in annoyance then turns around and walks away. 

"Alright, what was that?" Wooseok inquires as soon as she's not in hearing-distance anymore. 

Jinhyuk shrugs again. "Jennie is kinda the biggest gossip girl in the school... if she knows we're dating, everyone will know. Makes things easier for me, you know. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

The familiar warmth that the other seems to provoke in him lately spreads out once again. "I'm already so uncomfortable about the exam, I really don't have the capacity to be uncomfortable about you being weird."

Jinhyuk laughs then puts an arm around his shoulders. "It will be fine, you're prepared. You will pass."

"It's easy for you to say, you just remember everything you read. Meanwhile, the only name I remember right now is Mao Zedong and I'm not even sure what he did..."

Wooseok is only half-joking but it makes the other break out in laughter as they walk out the cafeteria together again.

* * *

He finishes the exam surprisingly well and if he's honest, the moment it's done and over with, he just cannot care to care anymore. They decide to go to Jinhyuk's favourite cafe, the one they went to when they just started working on their _Chinese History_ presentation. 

As soon as they arrive, Jess, the barista, greets them with a smile and they order their usual drinks, as well as the "Jinhyuk special" which is the same street food they ate that day as well. Wooseok only realises that he's hungry now, the nervousness before the exam had him ignore that primal need. 

"So, what are we doing tonight?" Jinhyuk asks once their drinks and food arrive.

"I literally lived at your place for the past three days, aren't you tired of me?" The other says before taking a big bite of food.

"Impossible," the taller shakes his head. "I'd have you move in right away if I could."

"Gyujin would be so happy about that," Wooseok laughs.

"He actually would," Jinhyuk declares. "He thinks you're cool and we'd be splitting the rent by three."

"We've been together for less than three weeks, I'm not moving in with you."

"Sad," the older pouts. "Anyway, what are we doing tonight?"

"Nothing," Wooseok retorts. "I'm going to see a musical with Yein."

"And you didn't care to invite me?"

"I just thought I should spend some time with your friends without you to get to know them separately, also it was not my idea. He invited me and I like him and I've never been to a musical, so I thought why not?"

Jinhyuk takes out his phone in faked distress. "What the... Is he trying to steal my boyfriend? Why didn't he invite me?"

Wooseok laughs at that. He knows Jinhyuk is not serious and if there's one person on this planet whom he trusts, it's probably Yein but he also knows that his boyfriend is needy and probably genuinely appalled at the fact that he'll have to spend an evening apart from him. 

"Now that you have your phone out," Wooseok remembers something he wanted to check out for a couple of days now. "Yohan tells me you update about me on Instagram?"

Jinhyuk looks like a deer caught in the headlights. "I might have posted a couple of selfies with you and... pictures of you... I'm sorry?"

"I'm not mad," the younger says taking a sip from his iced Americano. "I just wish you would ask me beforehand and like, show me what you post..."

"Yes, of course, oh my god, I'm so sorry," the other says sounding genuinely frightened while pushing his phone over the table. "Please, check it out and delete whatever you want. I'm just so happy I wanted to share it with the whole world but I'm an idiot. Clearly."

Wooseok takes his phone and opens the Instagram app to check Jinhyuk's feed. "It's okay," he says with a chuckle. "I'm not going to break up with you over this, we communicate, okay?"

"Okay," Jinhyuk says while taking his hand and pressing a chaste kiss to his fingers. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that," Wooseok says with a genuine smile, opening his hand for Jinhyuk to press his cheek against it. "It's really fine."

The last four pictures on the feed all include Wooseok. Three of them are selfies he's aware Jinhyuk took with him but there's one picture where he's looking on his own phone and he doesn't recall having this picture taken at all. 

He clicks on it and smiles at the caption that just reads _'I love him'_. He immediately spots the top comments and opens them to read the rest. Most of them are asking who he is, others are wondering if Jinhyuk is being serious and what happened to him. Wooseok can see that he has replied to a couple of the comments telling them he has a boyfriend now.

His eyes suddenly stay fixated at one comment that simply says _'congrats :)'_. Wooseok turns the phone's screen around for Jinhyuk to look at it. "Is this Seungyoun?"

The other grabs the hand that is holding the device to pull it closer. "Hm? Ah yeah," he says with an illuminated expression. "We actually had a quick chat in my DMs."

Jinhyuk clicks around on the phone then turns it around to Wooseok again to read the DMs he exchanged with Seungyoun recently.

**c.seung**

_hey man_

_I just wanted to apologise_

_you know, about everything_

_I completely overstepped_

_I see you two are happy together now, really congrats_

**You**

_heeey, how are you?_

_thanks! yes we are^^_

_apology accepted haha_

_I know where you're coming from_

_hope we're still good_

**c.seung**

_I'm good_

_I met this girl and I really like her_

_sure, we're good_

_and yeah, but I still overdid it_

_I always knew it wasn't really your fault_

_but my pride..._

**You**

_omg!!!_

_I'm happy for you_

_let's just forget about it_

_okay??_

_it all turned out well in the end_

**c.seung**

_thanks!_

_yeah, I'm happy too ><_

_alright, thanks man_

_it sure did, you look good together_

**You**

_hhhh he looks good_

_I'm just average next to him_

**c.seung**

_true that lol_

**You**

_hey!_

**c.seung**

_hahahah_

_I mean_

_you know I'm not THAT into boys_

_but yours is by far the prettiest_

**You**

_I know that_

_but watch out!_

_I honestly feel he's the one for me_

_you know_

_like_

_forever_

**c.seung**

_haha don't worry_

_I have someone else now_

_and wow!_

_I hope you two last_

_I really do_

**You**

_that's nice of you to say_

_thanks man :)_

_we should get together sometime_

**c.seung**

_yeah we should_

Wooseok exits the application, locks the phone and returns it to his owner. "So, you guys are friends again?"

"Friends is stretching it a little bit," Jinhyuk says while playfully brushing the other's fingers as if to interlock them with his own but instead they only touch softly. " _Friendly_ , I would say."

"That's great," Wooseok smiles as he has his hand pulled and a soft kissed placed to the inside of his palm.

"Do you mind?" The other asks with a serious expression.

The smaller shakes his head. "Of course not. I mean, obviously, what he did was - for lack of a better word - idiotic but as you said, I see where he's coming from. Just because I wouldn't have done anything like it, doesn't mean I get to judge other people's pain and motivation."

Jinhyuk doesn't say anything but stares at him in a sort of adoration that makes Wooseok feel entirely exposed. So much so that he takes his hand back and folds his arms in front of his body. "What?" He throws at the other.

"Nothing," Jinhyuk says softly. "I was just thinking how you're the best and I don't really know what I did to deserve you."

"You did nothing, like, absolutely nothing to deserve me," Wooseok says with a playful sigh. "And yet, here I am, completely in love with you."

The way the other's face lights up, Wooseok thinks his heart is about to explode from how happy he is right now. Everything just really fell into place with them and he couldn't be more grateful at that. 

"So, I could do Thursday evening if you want to do something," he adds to stop himself from reaching over the table and pulling Jinhyuk's face in for an almost criminal case of PDA. 

"There's an artsy film showing at this small French-inspired theatre in Itaewon, would you be into that?"

Wooseok is continuously amazed at all the different interests he discovers Jinhyuk has and how he's always informed about all kinds of arts and culture happenings. It's something the smaller finds mysteriously attractive about his boyfriend. He doesn't even know if he's interested in French cinema but he says yes anyway.

"Oh, and Friday, I want to take you out for dinner, I don't accept 'no' for an answer," Jinhyuk says cutely shaking his head. "It's gonna be fancy and romantic and all that because we deserve it now that the exams are over and we can officially throw ourselves into dating life."

It makes Wooseok laugh and he instinctively pulls a hand up to his face to hide his mouth out of habit causing the other to pull it away again then hold onto it. "Don't hide your smile, it's my favourite thing in the world."

And Wooseok smiles at him.

* * *

Their Friday dinner turns out to be just as fancy and romantic as Jinhyuk promised. He takes Wooseok to a beautiful high-end restaurant. It's one of those places that don't have any prices written on the menu and where you have to book a table way in advance which makes him wonder for how long Jinhyuk had been planning to take him there.

It's all completely over the top and unnecessary but he knows that it's more of a gesture. A symbol of his commitment delivered in the most extravagant Jinhyuk way possible. Wooseok loves that he can walk down the street eating a tornado potato and go to a cat cafe and to a French cinema and to an art exhibition and to a ridiculously fancy restaurant with the same person and never feel out of place. He loves to be loved by Jinhyuk and he loves to love him back.

Since the older's place is in walking distance to the restaurant, he persuades Wooseok to spend the night over at his place again. They arrive there quite late to find out that Gyujin has gone out with friends, so they decide to call it a night, wash up and go to sleep.

"Shower is free," Jinhyuk says as he enters the room drying his hair with a towel. He's wearing a simple black t-shirt and grey sweatpants but it still makes Wooseok's heart flutter whenever the other enters a room. He wonders if that feeling would ever stop, after all, they've been inseparable ever since they got together. He should be used to seeing Jinhyuk in his everyday life by now but it still takes him by surprise sometimes that he has this kind of love, that he has the taller male's heart, that they are so good together, that they can make each other happy like this. "Wooseok?"

Jinhyuk calling his name makes him snap out of his trance. "Umm, yeah," he puts away the book that he was reading and makes his way to the door when he remembers. "Can I borrow your boxers? I didn't really expect to spend the night here, you know..."

The older gives him a wide smile before he pulls him in for a quick peck on the lips. "Of course, it's the small drawer on the bottom there, take whatever you like."

"Thanks."

When he opens the drawer in question, he feels the familiar warmth in his stomach once again. Of course, Jinhyuk would have a ridiculous amount of boxers with something _Frozen_ related on them and they're all on the top which clearly indicates that they are his most worn. Wooseok has to dig deep to find a simple, dark blue pair without any weird patterns or animated characters on them. While he loves his boyfriend for wearing that kind of underwear, he himself wouldn't want to be found dead with Elsa's face on his crotch. 

The first time he came to Jinhyuk's apartment that day when the older tried to help Eunsang with his English homework, it never even crossed his mind that one day he would be this comfortable here. That he would treat it like his second home. That he would sleep here and eat here and play video games with Gyujin. That he would regularly take showers here and use Jinhyuk's shampoo and his tangerine scented shower gel. It's funny how everything turned out.

When he gets out of the shower, he quickly dries himself with the towel he knows Jinhyuk laid out for him. It's small things like that that make Wooseok realise again and again how attentive and caring the other is, how much he goes out of his way to make sure his boyfriend is taken care of in any way possible. 

In the beginning, Wooseok thought that he did it out of guilt because of how it started out with them but now he knows it's just the way Jinhyuk is. He cares and he does these things without thinking too much, without any hidden agenda. 

He looks up from where he's leaning against his desk typing something on his phone when Wooseok comes back into the room and his gaze suddenly freezes on the younger's almost entirely exposed body. Since Wooseok didn't bring any clothes, he didn't bother to put on the ones he wore before when he got out of the shower. He thinks boxers should be enough to sleep in on a hot summer night like tonight but the way Jinhyuk slowly looks him up and down, he realises he's never worn this little in front of the other. 

Jinhyuk puts his phone away then opens his arms as a sign for Wooseok to go over and hug him which the younger gladly does. 

"Your proportions are no joke," Jinhyuk says once he has a long arm swung around the smaller's waist the other hand at the back of his neck. Wooseok breathes in his familiar scent. They smell the same right now but it's different on Jinhyuk he thinks.

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean, you just look skinny when you have clothes on," he stops when Wooseok glares at him. "Not in a bad way, just, you know, on the slimmer side. But you're all muscle, like, not built but well-defined and it goes with your face and it's all a bit ridiculous..."

"Ridiculous?"

"Yeah, it's almost ridiculous how perfect you are," Jinhyuk chuckles.

"Shut up, I'm not perfect," the other retorts playfully.

"Well, I've definitely never met anyone who comes closer to the definition of that word."

"I have," Wooseok says then leans in to kiss the other slowly but assertively. He is positioned between Jinhyuk's legs as the latter still leans against his desk. He puts his hands on his waist and leans in with his whole body, the taller responds by wrapping both of his arms around Wooseok pulling him in so close that there's no space between them at all. 

They make out for a good ten minutes until their kisses become a sloppy and their breathing erratic. Wooseok is suddenly very alert at every bit of his uncovered skin that is touching Jinhyuk's clothed body. His hands slide down from the older's waist to his thighs and he can feel the muscular flesh twitching in his palms. 

"You know," Jinhyuk starts when they break apart both gasping for air. "We had a nice date today, didn't we?"

"Yeah," Wooseok lets out a sultry breath. 

"Tuesday, we went to have food and coffee at the cafe, right?"

"Mhm."

"That counts as a date, doesn't it?"

"Definitely," Wooseok affirms slowly realising where this is going. "Our first real date."

"And yesterday, we went to the French cinema," Jinhyuk kisses him again and pulls on his lip as they break apart.

"We did," the younger confirms. "Horrible film. Great date, though."

"Right? An amazing second date, so technically- no _surely_ , today's dinner was our third date already."

"It looks like it, yes," the way he's standing Wooseok's tented crotch brushes against Jinhyuk's thigh and sends shivers down his spine. He's so eager to be touched, to be taken by the other that it makes his mind cloudy with lust. 

"Heartbroken Wooseok said 'a couple of dates, right?" Another peck to his needy lips.

"He sure did," he thinks that if Jinhyuk doesn't get to the point anytime soon, he's going to jump him right then and there on that table.

"So, three dates definitely falls under 'a couple', doesn't it?"

"Oh my god, Jinhyuk," Wooseok almost shouts. "Please, heartbroken Wooseok wants it, horny Wooseok wants it, I want it, you want it, the whole universe wants us to fuck, can we please just stop talking and just finally do it?"

Jinhyuk laughs out loud as he holds him in his arms. Oh, how he loves when Jinhyuk laughs. Luckily, he can feel him push himself off the desk. They are standing now, swinging awkwardly as Wooseok walks backwards towards the bed, the other following him attached to his lips. 

They kiss more fervently while still standing in front of Jinhyuk's bed. Wooseok has a tight grip around the other's neck while standing on his tiptoes, his entire body shivering at every stroke of Jinhyuk's hands on his naked upper body. Wooseok can feel his legs shaking from sheer lust, from want. He needs the insulting cloth that is his boyfriend's t-shirt removed as soon as possible, so he tugs on it at the back of Jinhyuk's neck. The moan that escapes the taller from having to part lips for a quick second to pull it over his head sends bolts of pleasure into Wooseok's abdominal region. Admittedly, they didn't wait _that_ long to get intimate with each other that it would justify the amount of arousal he's feeling at the mere touch of Jinhyuk's naked chest against his own. 

He doesn't even care to reconnect their lips but instead immediately goes for the other's neck kissing his way down to Jinhyuk's collarbones that are more eye-level for Wooseok anyway. He stops at his chest, though, taking notice of a rather large scar there. He looks up at Jinhyuk, meeting his eyes. The other presses his lips together and shrugs. Wooseok feels a tug at his heart, so he makes sure to lean in and place the chastest kisses he can muster along the tarnished skin. He can feel Jinhyuk's breath stumble at the gesture, his hands stroking up and down Wooseok's naked arms slowly but surely pressing him backwards onto the bed. 

With the smaller on his back, it's time for Jinhyuk's lips to explore the other body. He takes Wooseok's hands and intertwines their fingers just to pin them onto the mattress above his head. Wooseok's eyes flutter shut, an obscene moan escaping him when Jinhyuk rolls his body onto his crotch while sucking on the sensitive skin right behind his ear. He's suddenly infinitely grateful that they are alone in the apartment.

Jinhyuk's hands untangle themselves from his own just to stroke down his arms on both sides while his lips move down his torso at the same painfully slow pace. It's as if the older is taking his sweet time to make sure every bit of skin is worshipped equally on his way down to the destination Wooseok needs him to arrive, like, yesterday. Jinhyuk's hands lazily stroke past his nipples when his lips reach the area underneath Wooseok's belly button but instead of going lower he detaches himself from the warm body underneath him and goes back to kiss Wooseok's lips again. 

If this is how it's going down, the younger knows he's probably going to pass out very quickly. There is not a fibre in his body that is not alert at every single movement of Jinhyuk's right now. Everything wants to be touched by him but instead he makes even their lips part. They look into each other's eyes for a good half a minute before both of Jinhyuk's hands disappear in the legs of the boxers Wooseok borrowed from him earlier and move up to squeeze his bare cheeks underneath it. A teasing grin appears on the older's face as he leans down to lick the bud of Wooseok's embarrassingly protruding nipple. Jinhyuk rolls his tongue around it, grazes it with his teeth then sucks a little before placing a kiss to it and moving his attention to the other one. Wooseok knows that if he looked down on his own crotch, he would find a wet spot on the cloth of his underwear right above the tip of his painfully hard cock.

When Jinhyuk's hands reappear again from under the boxers, they spend an awful lot of time stroking the smaller's thighs. Wooseok almost wants to yell at the other to stop teasing him and to get down to it but his throat is clogged with arousal. All he can let out is a raspy "please" that Jinhyuk seems to find amusing.

"You are so breathtaking," he says hovering above him and Wooseok thinks it's ironic that Jinhyuk would say that when he's the only one breathless around here. He's about to get even more of his oxygen stolen when the older lifts a hand to cup his face and lick into his mouth quickly just to have that same hand stroke down his torso until it reaches the seam of the boxers followed by open-mouthed kisses to his chest, to the space right next to his bellybutton and just like that he can feel the boxers being pulled down to his knees, the cool air of the room hitting his leaking cock.

"Wow," Jinhyuk suddenly exclaims then looks up to meet his eyes with a cheeky smile plastered across his face. "Wooseok comma Kim, you're big!"

Wooseok is startled by the warm air brushing against his cock from Jinhyuk's breathy laughter. "I'm kinda realising I won the boyfriend lottery here," he chuckles.

The smaller kicks him lightly in the sides indicating for Jinhyuk to just please touch him already. He responds with a tight grip around Wooseok's left ankle and a series of open-mouthed kisses to his inner thighs. Jinhyuk nuzzles his face into the skin between the other's leg and his dick leaning his cheek against the throbbing member before he tilts his head and licks a stripe from the base to the tip. Wooseok can feel his abdominal region tighten at it, a weight lifted off of him because he was finally touched but it's nowhere near enough. 

He takes him into his left hand and slowly pumps him up and down while his gaze is fixed at Wooseok's eyes, a cheeky grin on his face. "You're so wet for me already."

"Please," the smaller manages to say despite how clouded with lust he feels. "Just shut up." For someone who wanted to have sex with Jinhyuk so badly for so long, he sure feels in a hurry to finish right now. Not because he doesn't like it, but because he likes it too much. All that teasing Jinhyuk had put him through since the moment they reached the bed is really making him go insane at the moment. He just needs to come so badly. 

Lucky for him, Jinhyuk finally finds it within him to have mercy and slides his lips down the length of Wooseok's cock then brings them up again. It's too much already, so much he knows he won't last very long. He's a little embarrassed but not enough to care because Jinhyuk's starts bopping his head up and down around him applying just the right amount of pressure with his mouth. He might be still adjusting around him but Wooseok is already on the edge. It only takes two strokes of Jinhyuk's left hand to the base of his dick while his mouth sucks on the tip for the smaller to come inside his boyfriend's mouth without a warning. 

It makes Jinhyuk laugh while still attached to his cock, the vibrations of it making Wooseok's eyes roll back from the intensity of his orgasm. The older drinks every drop of cum before he lets go of the other with a plop. 

He hovers above Wooseok again smiling wider than he's ever seen him. "You are so hot," he says pressing a kiss to the pink lips. "And you taste so good."

While Wooseok comes down from his orgasm, Jinhyuk takes off his boxers completely then gets up and removes his own sweatpants and underwear. The younger watches him from where he lies on the bed, already feeling the familiar tightness in his stomach just from looking at Jinhyuk as he strokes himself. 

When he comes back to bed, he lies besides Wooseok and turns him away from himself just a little bit, so the younger is lying on his side. Jinhyuk kisses his shoulder then moves down to place kisses along his shoulder blades, then his spine all the way down to his lower back. He strokes Wooseok's ass with a large hand reaching down to his thigh to lift it up just a little. 

"What are you doing?" the younger asks trying to turn around just slightly. 

"I'm making love to you."

"You've just made love to me."

"No," Jinhyuk chuckles. "Do you really think I will let our first time be a five minute blow job? I have more in store for you."

Wooseok blushes, he is nowhere near getting hard again but he can already feel his dick twitch in anticipation as Jinhyuk continues to kiss his way across his entire body. 

Once he seems satisfied with the attention he gave to Wooseok's back, Jinhyuk turns him around again and presses himself against him kissing him again. Their lips move against each other languidly and Wooseok can feel his arousal growing by the second. He can feel Jinhyuk's hardness against his thigh, so he moves it in a way he knows will provide the most friction. He wins a drawn-out moan from his boyfriend's mouth which makes him feel proud in a way. 

"I want you so bad," he says when they break apart. 

"You have me," Jinyhuk retorts. "I'm all yours."

"But I want you inside me," Wooseok whispers sultry against his lips.

"Fuck."

Jinhyuk reaches over him to take out condoms and a bottle of lube from his bedside table and Wooseok can't believe how excited he gets just at seeing that. The older places open-mouthed kisses down his chest and stomach again. This time faster, more urgent, only quickly flicking each nipple sending bolts of pleasure directly into Wooseok's slowly hardening member. 

Jinhyuk worries a piece of skin right under his belly button just a little longer and it drives the other insane to have that mouth so close to his dick again, but he doesn't go there. Instead he sits up, takes a pillow from right next to Wooseok's head and places it right underneath his lower back, so his ass is lifted off the bed just the slightest. He doesn't wait after that opening the bottle of lube and warming it up between his fingers.

Wooseok's breath hitches when the first finger enters him. He realises that it's been a while that he had something other than his own fingers in his hole. It feels so much better than when he does it himself. Maybe it's Jinhyuk's experience or maybe it's just the way they fit together perfectly but he can't even feel any pain or discomfort, it just feels good and he knows the other can tell by the speed at which his cock hardens again. 

He glances at Jinhyuk who looks more ethereal than he ever did. The way he's concentrated at Wooseok's hole, the way his cheeks are flushed from his own arousal, the way he can tell - even now - that Jinhyuk is taking special care of him, that he's treating him differently from anyone else, that he cares more about Wooseok's comfort and satisfaction than his own clearly twitching member.

Wooseok is so in love and it makes his current experience feel so much more intensified. He know's he's a moaning mess but he doesn't even care right now. All he wants is for Jinhyuk to decide that he's been spread open wide enough for him to enter him as soon as possible. 

Two fingers and a couple of minutes later, Jinhyuk is finally opening up the condom packet and sliding it over his own cock. He thoroughly lubes himself up before placing it against Wooseok's entrance. "Are you good?"

"Yes," the smaller answers a little overwhelmed by the fact that Jinhyuk even asks. "Yes, just please-"

He's broken off by the cock pressing past the rim of his entrance. Jinhyuk moves slow enough but it's still a little too much and Wooseok knows his face is giving it away. The older realising the discomfort he is causing, takes Wooseok's sensitive cock in his hand, stroking it at the same pace he's moving in and out of him.

It only takes a couple of movements for the pain to go away completely and be replaced by nothing but pleasure. Wooseok rolls his hips on the pillow underneath him and feels a sense of pride coming up when it makes Jinhyuk's movements lose just that little bit of finesse while a loud groan escapes him simultaneously.

He starts pounding into him faster and faster, it's rough but not painful but it's all too much for Wooseok who feels the need to hold onto something for dear life, so he digs his fingernails into Jinhyuk's back, sure to leave crescent shapes on the other's soft skin.

Just when he thinks he's about to go overboard, Jinhyuk slows down completely, barely moving in and out of him at all. He lifts Wooseok's legs to lock them behind his back then lifts himself up to kneel on the bed. The smaller is lifted up by his middle still attached to Jinhyuk by his cock. His back is arching backwards, only his head touching the pillow that was previously placed beneath his ass. The sensation of being in this position makes him feel insanely good. He doesn't know what it is but he knows if Jinhyuk were to pound into him like this right now, he'd come again immediately. But he doesn't, instead, he slides out painfully slowly just a little, then at the same pace back in again. 

The older leans forward over the curve of Wooseok's stomach and kisses his chest. He sucks on his nipple again, driving him insane. 

He can feel Jinhyuk's hand sliding up his back towards his shoulders grabbing onto them from behind and lifting Wooseok up. He has always been stronger than he looked but he has never been more thankful for it than right at this moment as he gathers all the strength that he has left in his fucked-out body to hold onto Jinhyuk's shoulders. 

The taller male is still kneeling on the bed but Wooseok is soaring now. No part of him is touching the bed, Jinhyuk's cock is still deep inside him, now not moving at all but filling him up so good. One of his legs is hanging down a little, touching Jinhyuk's calf, the other is swung around his boyfriend's waist. Wooseok tries to fuck himself on top of the other like this but Jinhyuk doesn't allow him to move. Just fills him up like this, their lips parted right in front of each other breathing the same air back and forth getting dizzy from it. They stay like this for a good minute before Jinhyuk kisses him again indicating to Wooseok that he can move now a little bit. The smaller accepts the invitation and rolls his hips around the cock in circles making Jinhyuk moan louder and louder. 

When it gets too much for him to hold Wooseok up like this, he slowly places him down on his back again then proceeds to fuck into him relentlessly. The younger thinks he's going to come any second if Jinhyuk continues like this and just when he thinks he's there, the other wraps a hand around the base of his cock holding him back from orgasm as he continues to pound into him mercilessly.

"Fuck," Wooseok manages. "Jinhyuk- ah, I can't- please... let me..."

"Together," Jinhyuk blurts out then continues fucking him at this ridiculous pace. Wooseok's entire body is shivering, aching for release. He can tell that Jinhyuk is close too by the way his movements get more and more erratic and uneven and just when he thinks he's going to lose his mind completely, the older lets go off his cock causing Wooseok to shoot his load in long stripes across his own belly and Jinhyuk's too. 

Wooseok can't really see anything right now but he can hear that the other is coming inside of him as well, fucking himself through his orgasm. 

Jinhyuk pulls out of him but Woosek thinks he's still coming, his entire body twitching and shaking from the intensity of the orgasm he just experienced. The best sex of his life. No competition. He can't believe the amount of cum he's able to release still even though it's the second time within less than an hour.

Jinhyuk cleans them with the towel he used to dry his hair earlier then props himself up on one elbow to look at Wooseok as he swallows around air unable to speak still unable to come down from the high he just experienced. 

"You're so fucking beautiful," Jinhyuk says out of breath. "I can't believe I get to see this." 

Wooseok wants to tell him to shut up but his voice doesn't come out and the other laughs at that, leaning on his shoulder, whispering a sweet confession into his neck.

He settles for turning himself away from Jinhyuk in played protest, the other one just pulling him in, making him the small spoon while he kisses the back of his neck in such a chaste manner that it's hard to believe he almost fucked his brains out just two minutes ago.

"I hope horny Wooseok is satisfied now," Jinhyuk jokes. "I also hope it was better than what drunk Jinhyuk promised."

It takes a couple of minutes for Wooseok to come down, to catch his breath properly and find his voice again. He lies like that in Jinhyuk's arms until he can talk again.

"You know," he starts. "What you said to Seungyoun..."

"Huh?"

"You know," Wooseok adds shyly. "About me potentially being the one..."

"Ah yes."

"Well, did you mean it?"

"Of course," Jinhyuk states quickly. "I mean, you're the first person I ever fell in love with and I've met quite a few people, you know, so this just all feels very... right to me."

"I see," Wooseok says dryly trying to hide how much the other's sentiment warms his heart.

"Why do you ask?"

"Ah, you know, first I was a little scared at the thought of it because we're still so young and all that but now I don't mind."

Jinhyuk laughs heartily behind his back and Wooseok thinks he's going to melt. "What changed your mind?"

"Just knowing that if that ends up being the case at least I'll get fucked properly for the rest of my life."

He can feel the older move away from him to lie on his back in laughter and Wooseok uses this chance to turn around and prop his chin up on Jinhyuk's chest to look up at him with a smile.

"Honestly, I love you so much," the older says when he comes down from his laughing fit. He has his one arm circled around Wooseok, the other hand brushing hairs out of his sweaty face, admiring his facial features with every stroke of his fingers. "You look even prettier after sex."

"Honestly," the smaller retorts. "I'm just happy I took _Chinese History_."

Jinhyuk laughs again at that. "Me too."

Wooseok pushes himself up a little so he's hovering above the other's face. He admires his boyfriend's features. Jinhyuk suddenly looks so much more mature and serious even if he's flashing his usual blinding smile. Wooseok feels safe next to him, he feels safe in his arms like nothing outside of this room can even touch him, let alone harm him. He leans down to place a soft but firm kiss to Jinhyuk's lips his fingers just lightly touching the side of the other's face. 

He moves away again just to see the other smile up at him lovingly. There is so much tenderness and warmth in Jinhyuk's eyes as he look at him, so much so that Wooseok feels bare in front of him. Not even the sex had made him feel this exposed to the other but he's cherishing every minute of it. 

He takes Jinhyuk's face in his hands and strokes his cheekbones with his thumbs while keeping their eyes locked on each other's. "I really love you, too," he says eventually before leaning down onto the other's lips again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! I hope the people who made requests are happy with how it turned out!
> 
> I'm not taking any more requests for this story, though, I think Attention is really wrapped up well now and I don't want to milk it for its popularity. this is really the last chapter I will ever add to this :)
> 
> I honestly don't even know how it blew up as much as it did but I'm really happy that it touched so many people, thanks again for reading!! 
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated <33


	12. Thanks for 1000 Kudos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, I didn't really ever want to add anything to this but the other day, I went through my notes on Evernote and I wanted to delete old stuff that piled up and I found this scene that I wrote as a part of the last chapter of Attention but, obviously, I never posted it and that's 1) because it was set the morning after the last scene of chapter 11 and I felt like it dragged the whole chapter out and 2) because I didn't feel like it was necessary at the time. 
> 
> I still don't think it's necessary but it's a whole-ass almost 2K words scene I wrote out and had saved in my notes and just couldn't make myself delete - and finding it the other day made me come back here and check my AO3 again and I saw that Attention had almost 1000 Kudos... which is incredible. I really can't quite grasp the fact that something I wrote would ever be this... liked and appreciated and I feel so so honoured, so I decided, fuck it, I'll just post that extra scene as a big fat THANK YOU to all of you who read this story and left a little Kudos on it, and even the ones who didn't. 
> 
> my life was very different while I was writing this story, a lot has happened since and while I don't ever go back to reading my own stories, I kind of always remember the time and my life situation when I was writing them and this time, I remember so clearly because so much was going on... it makes me happy to look back at and I will always cherish that time in my heart.
> 
> Now, I promise, I will finish my other chaptered WeiShin work... I was just way too scared and blocked and anxious to write or even open AO3 during self-isolation and a series of difficult events over the past couple of months but I will finish it and I will answer all the comments I neglected for a while but for now, I hope this tiny little scene will bring a smile to the faces of the people who supported me at any given time during my writing processes. Thank you all so much, I appreciate every single person who reads anything I write. Honestly. Much love.

"Can I ask you something?" Jinhyuk says while he takes Wooseok's fingers into his own and strokes each of them one by one without making any eye contact whatsoever.

They are both sprawled across Jinhyuk's bed, too lazy to get up and start their day mid-morning. The warm sunlight paints the room in warm colours and caresses Jinhyuk's hair in golden rays by which Wooseok is entirely amazed.

"You can ask me anything," he giggles.

"When did you realise you liked me?" Jinhyuk throws into the room and although the question fills Wooseok with warmth and comfort, it makes him think quite a bit as well.

"Hmm," he starts. "It was definitely after Seungyoun's party... maybe right after it? Or once we started spending more time together? I remember this one time at the cafeteria where I kinda just knew it."

"Oh?" Jinhyuk says and instantly turns around on the bed to prop himself up on his elbows. "Which time at the cafeteria?"

"I'm not really sure when it was exactly," Wooseok states truthfully. "I just remember Yohan was there and he was telling you something... or you were talking? Not quite sure... anyway, I remember I wasn't really participating in the conversation and I just kept looking at you and the way you talked to him and I just felt different about you... yeah."

The smile on Jinhyuk's face grows incredibly big with every word uttered by Wooseok. He would have thought it's quite impossible to fall even more in love with the taller man if it weren't for the almost embarrassing fluttering of his heart that he felt every time Jinhyuk threw one of those smiles at him. How does his infatuation with him grow by that much every single day? Wooseok will never understand.

"What about you?" Wooseok asks back once his heart grows too restless to take it any longer. "When did you realise you liked _me_?"

Jinhyuk chuckles - as if knowing the effect it has on his boyfriend - before he turns around to lie on his back again, "In retrospect, I think I liked you from that time we went to my favourite cafe."

"What?" Wooseok says in disbelief. "As in... the first day we talked to each other?"

"Yeah," Jinhyuk nods. "I think so."

"No, you didn't," Wooseok hears himself say. "I mean... how is that possible?"

"What do you mean?"

"How could you've known you liked me then already and then... you know... everything that happened," Wooseok says trying not to sound like he wants to guilt Jinhyuk about past events because he doesn't. He just really doesn't understand.

"Well, no... I didn't say that's when I realised it," Jinhyuk scratches the top of his head. "In retrospect, I just think that's when I already fell for you."

"What the hell, Jinhyuk?" Wooseok exclaims quite eager to hear an explanation.

"What?" Jinhyuk laughs. He has the audacity to laugh after telling Wooseok that he liked him since day one. What a weirdo.

"Details? Please?" Wooseok lets out impatiently. "How? I mean, I didn't know anything about that until you confessed to me at the restaurant, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember that," Jinhyuk breathes out a couple of embarrassed laughs. "I don't know... It's not like it was all love and feelings and madness right away, you know."

Jinhyuk stops for a moment and just stares at the ceiling. He seems to reminisce. It seems like he's trying to think himself back into the time where they met for the first time and went to Jinhyuk's favourite cafe to start working on their _Chinese History_ presentation.

"I don't know if you remember," he starts after a while. "But I had a date after our first group presentation meeting?"

"Yeah, I remember," Wooseok says quickly. He's way too curious about where this is going.

"Right," Jinhyuk continues. "Well, it was with this one girl. She was very nice, I don't really remember much about her but I know that I didn't feel uncomfortable and she was quite polite and friendly and all that... she was pretty too-"

"Yes, okay, move along," Wooseok rolls his eyes and gains a chuckle from his boyfriend.

"Don't be jealous," he says. "That's actually all I remember about her because while I was sitting there across from her at this restaurant, all I could think about was you. I remember wondering why you chose to study _Architecture_ and why I didn't ask you at the cafe and how come you booked _Chinese History_ when you seemed not familiar with it at all and I wondered if I should ask you that at all or if that would be an asshole-move and make you hate me and I remember the thought of you hating me feeling very very _very_ wrong to me and then I started wondering about random things like whether purple was your favourite colour because you had a purple pen that day and whether you were lactose intolerant because you said you felt a little weird after trying my frappucino thingy and... look, I just had this beautiful girl across the table and all I thought about was my _Chinese History_ group presentation mate, you know."

Jinhyuk stops quickly to look at Wooseok who can't help but smile widely. He never knew about this, Jinhyuk never told him. Matter of fact, he wonders if Jinhyuk ever thought about when he might have fallen in love with Wooseok just before he asked him either.

"Anyway- gosh, this is embarrassing," Jinhyuk continues. "Anyway, I actually went back to the cafe... I ended my date early and literally ran back to the cafe - and of course, I knew you wouldn't be there anymore but whatever, I thought, if by any chance... for whatever reason, you were still there, I wanted to ask you all those questions. You were gone though and I remember asking myself what was wrong with me at the time... what an idiot I was."

"That," Wooseok looks at Jinhyuk from the side. "That is actually... really _cute_."

Jinhyuk snorts, "Yeah, right."

"Come on," Wooseok chuckles. "It's kinda cute."

"If you say so," Jinhyuk shakes his head a little before he continues. "You know, I didn't really understand shit at the time but I just wanted to spend more time with you afterwards. I wanted to ask you all those questions... which I kinda did when I forced you to my place that one time with Eunsang, _oh God!_ "

Jinhyuk exclaims the last part and buries his head in his hands in embarrassment, "Why the hell did you still hang out with me? I was so weird and nervous that day."

"It was not that bad," Wooseok explains with a laugh but he can't quite recall how he felt around that time. He does remember thinking that Jinhyuk was weird when he talked him into spending the afternoon at his place while he tried to tutor Eunsang in English and yet, he went along with it. Perhaps, he liked the other guy much sooner than he realised as well but he is not going to ponder on that for now.

"It felt quite natural, you know," he adds as sort of a reassuring afterthought. "After that day, anyway. It felt natural to hang out with you."

"Well, thanks, kind Sir," Jinhyuk playfully says with a chuckle. "It felt natural for me too. I just wanted to spend time with you all the time and looking back now, I really must have been blind or stupid or both not to realise my feelings for you at the time. It really built up until.. you know..."

"Hm?"

"You know," Jinhuyk repeats.

"Know what?" Wooseok is not quite sure what the other one is trying to get at.

"You know that one night at your room," Jinhyuk sighs. "I think I just got back from Busan at the time? For whatever reason, I remember that night so clearly... I just wanted to kiss you so badly but I don't know what it was - a part of me wasn't sure whether I actually liked you or if it all came from not having had sex since before I really met you and another part was just completely petrified by the thought of you not liking me back and what that would mean for us. I think most of all I was scared that if I did it... if I had kissed you right then and there, I wondered if I would be able to spend as much of my time with you as you allowed me to spend then... it felt like too big of a thing to risk at the time."

Wooseok can't really utter any words right now. He just looks at Jinyhuk incredulous to find out the other's inner thoughts about the night that solidified his own feelings for him so strongly.

"The next day, I guess I just really wanted to see if the sex thing was a legitimate concern or not," Jinhyuk continues with an exasperated shake of his head. "Of course, it wasn't... I wasn't horny, I was in love and when you showed up at my apartment, I just knew. I saw you there and at that moment, I just knew I loved you. And how ironic is it that at the very same moment, I could see in your eyes that I had lost you? To realise I loved you and I lost you in the same exact second... I- I'm so sorry, Wooseok."

"No," Wooseok turns to the side and reaches up for Jinhyuk's face. "Stop it, we've been over that. It's alright. Nothing really happened, right? And-"

He stops and they look into each other's eyes for a while before Wooseok continues, "You know... I wouldn't want to change a thing about it all."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he shrugs. "I mean, I would prefer you hadn't ended up in the hospital and all that scary stuff but... all of it, I don't know. I feel like the deal was sealed the moment Prof. Ma called out our names from her cursed presentation partners list, to be honest. I feel all the other crap was just a huge-ass, messy test to see if we could appreciate each other in the end."

"Sounds... _spiritual_ ," Jinhyuk says and lets his eyebrows express his confusion.

"Stop it," Wooseok laughs. "It's just something Yohan said that got me thinking about all of that."

"What did Yohan say?"

"I don't remember it word by word," he explains. "He just asked me if there was ever a time I thought that all of that was just not worth it, you know."

"Did you?" Jinhyuk asks, now raising one of his eyebrows in curiosity.

"No," Wooseok shakes his head and looks at him sincerely. "Not once."

"Huh?"

"Huh?" Wooseok laughs and hits the other man gently. "That is kind of a weird reaction to me basically telling you the universe wanted us together."

Jinhyuk laughs out loud and turns around to snake both of his arms around Wooseok's middle before he speaks again, "No, I think that is very romantic. The reaction was more about you having an unexpectedly wise friend there, you know... he doesn't seem like it at first glance."

"Well," Wooseok chuckles before he plants a kiss to Jinhyuk's nose, "Most of us seem quite different from who they truly are at first glance."

"Touché," Jinhyuk says and closes the distance between their lips. Soft and warm and universally familiar, just like the first time. But better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for reading this whole story!
> 
> I know this little extra scene is not necessary and not very good either but I thought rather than to just delete it, it might just make one or two people smile on here and that's worth posting it for me :))
> 
> 1000 Kudos is crazy to me still. thank you!!!
> 
> I will be back. :)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for all the love this work received, I honestly never imagined it when I started writing it. it's been quite overwhelming!
> 
> please let me know what you think of it in the comments and thanks for all the kudos! I really appreciate you all <33


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